Just got off the phone with my mom

by doublelife 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • doublelife
    doublelife

    It's so depressing. We were talking about what she's going to do as she gets older and reaches retirement age. Now that my dad has died(they were divorced unscripturally and she's stayed single this whole time), she is trying to lose weight so she can start man hunting. She's hoping that she'll either find someone who can take care of her or hoping that this system will end. I just started asking her questions about what she's doing to lose weight so that I didn't have to hear her talk about this system ending. It really saddens me to hear her talk like that. I wish I could grab her by the shoulders and shake it out of her. As much as I don't want my mom man hunting, I really do hope she finds someone who could take care of her. But I also know that's nearly impossible in jw world. I don't know what I'm going to do with my mom when she get really old. I just left the jws last year. I've pioneered for most of my adult life which means I've just started working full-time, for the first time, a few months ago. And I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I don't make enough money to start saving for my own retirement, let alone to take care of my mom in her old age. What do children of jws who have no retirement plan do? How do you take care of your parents when you can barely take care of yourself?

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    How old is your mom?

    I'm afraid there are lots of JWs realizing that they unfortunately put all their eggs in the basket of false hope and are suddenly faced with approaching old age and no plans! It is truly a shame.

    My fanatical JW sister and her elder husband preach the usual JW spiel about the end being so close and this old system of things nearing its end...yet, they have poured money over the years into retirement accounts and savings/investment accounts and will be well set when they retire. It's like they speak out of both sides of their mouths.

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    " My fanatical JW sister and her elder husband preach the usual JW spiel about the end being so close and this old system of things nearing its end...yet, they have poured money over the years into retirement accounts and savings/investment accounts and will be well set when they retire "

    Hey Journey -on,

    your sis may be fanatical, but she ain't no fool, they know better

  • doublelife
    doublelife

    She's 53 and currently unemployed. She's living with my dad's parents(her dad is dead and her mom is not a jw so she's living with my dad's parents who are jws.) She's looking for a job, been on some interviews, but nobody wants to hire her.

  • blondie
    blondie

    My mom was in her mid 40's when she divorced my father. We didn't have much financially but she went to tech school and revived her business skills and got a full-time job at better pay with the company she worked at. She stayed there till she retired.

    Could your mother do the same?

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    Has she tried to get a job as a Wal Mart Greeter? I know they will not pay her much, but she could meet potential worldly guy who could take care of her. Just an idea from me.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    My jw mom completely shuns me and won't even tell me or anyone else who may get word to me through a "worldly" relative, about her health. So I have little to no worry about her. I do know that at least up until her last hospitalization, she was still working at the age of 67. My non-jw dad put nothing towards retirement, and is still working at age 72. But in helping him plan his future, I'm finding that you're better off having either very little or an over-abundance in old age. If you have very little, there are lots of programs for the elderly. Maybe instead of focusing on finding a man, your mom should start looking into what's available in her area in the way of subsidized housing, healthcare and assistance with nutrition for seniors.

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    " She's hoping that she'll either find someone who can take care of her or hoping that this system will end "

    Doublelife, your mom may need to look into other options, waitin' for this system to end in her time ain't one of them.

    .

  • doublelife
    doublelife

    blondie: My mom was a dental assistant for all of my teenage and adult years. She just got fired last year. Texas workforce commission paid for her to go to medical assisting school. So she is certified in both dental and medical assisting. But it's really hard for her to find any jobs right now. She's even gotten to the point where she's willing to do office work. She's never wanted to do that because she's had carpal tunnel surgery on both arms.

    asilentstone: "she could meet potential worldly guy who could take care of her" I can only wish she would consider a worldly guy.

    jamiebowers: Good point. It seems that you have to be either rich to take care of yourself or be in poverty so the government will take care of you. If you're just barely above poverty, you're on your own. Btw, I'm sorry about your mom shunning you. The reason I called my mom tonight was because I haven't talked to her in a couple of weeks, and I missed her. I can't imagine what's it's like to be shunned by my mom. I just hope I'll never find out. The thought scares me that, if I end up eventually moving in with the guy I'm with now, and the elders find out and decide to df me, that my mom will decide to shun me.

  • doublelife
    doublelife

    wasblind: Lol. That's true. Now if only I could get her to see that.

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