For those still trapped in the cult, be careful with your sanity

TastingFreedom

I relate to your pain and suffering. You remind me of the struggle I had for over a year, where I was pushing myself to go the meetings and even gave public talks because of friends and family, even when I knew it was all bullshit. I was so sick to my stomach, that I literally felt like puking during the meetings. But see, that's exactly what the cult programming and the mental triggers do, make you feel guilty and fearful. They want you to believe that your entire world will collapse, and make you believe that you are going to be miserable without them. But the reality is, even if you lose some people (conditional friends), you can make a new life that is decent, and honorable life without them. You will fill the void with other things that may be even better than what you have now. There will be no armageddon; they are simply not god's people, as simple as that!! You are a victim of a cult.

The emotions you are experiencing can be like a volcano, waiting to erupt. There is so much anger and frustration, that it can be dangerous to your health. The sense of loss and the feelings of being stuck or trapped can cause a lot emotions, including anxiety and depression. You need to deal with it, confront it, because it can lead to dangerous ways of coping such as addictive behaviors. The cognitive dissonance can become intolerable and start to affect your overall perspective of life. In advance, I apologize if this sounds too scary, but the implications of being caught in something that you don't want to do, but keep doing it against your will are pretty big. You need to embrace yourself, and find peace within, pursue your life.

The best strategy to get out of a cult is to prepare yourself emotionally, become a person who relies on logic and critical thinking, not so much on emotions (e.g. fear, guilt). Due the best you can in trying to help the closest people that you care about, your wife, give your self time, and define a roadmap out of the cult, set a date as a goal, if you can't reach that goal then I would say start preparing to assume your losses (collateral damage), to pursue the things that are more important to you (e.g. your freedom, your identity). I have found that the help of a professional (e.g. Psychologist) can be a big source of guidance through this process.

You're probably experiencing anticipated separation anxiety just thinking about it, but you will gain the courage once you feel comfortable with new friends, and convince yourself that it's going to be OK. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck in your journey to freedom!

leavingwt

Getting out is worth it!

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

There have been a lot of rough patches on my way out. And there will still be more to face. But it's worth it. I'll keep my sanity.

I'm looking forward to a better future in the real world, rather than a fantasyland of pet lions and vegetarian buffets that will never, ever arrive.

Mickey mouse

a fantasyland of pet lions and vegetarian buffets

Not much of a carrot, is it?!

flipper

TASTING FREEDOM- Great thoughts put out to newbies & others considering exiting the JW cult. Well done ! I agree with everything you say. Thanks for posting this for others

OnTheWayOut

great post.

MrFreeze

This post is absolutely phenomenal. I find myself in the same situation you once did. I will be out soon enough. Just getting all my arrangements in order at this time.

Open mind

Thanks for sharing the reality of leaving the JWs.

om

Hopscotch

TastingFreedom this part of your post really stood out to me as being so very true

The emotions you are experiencing can be like a volcano, waiting to erupt. There is so much anger and frustration, that it can be dangerous to your health. The sense of loss and the feelings of being stuck or trapped can cause a lot emotions, including anxiety and depression. You need to deal with it, confront it, because it can lead to dangerous ways of coping such as addictive behaviors.

While these comments apply to ones who have woken up to the lies of the WTS but are trapped, I thought your comments also go a long way to explain the number of cases of depression, nervous breakdowns, alcoholism, paranoia disorders etc that seem to be rampant within the congregations of JWs. I have personally witnessed many cases of mental health breakdowns in the congregations I was in for the last 10/15 years or so as a JW - including some in my own JW family.

And what I feel adds even more to these mental health problems is constantly being told that JWs are the 'happiest people on earth' and that they are in a 'spiritual paradise'. So when someone does start to feel depressed their cult training leads them to believe that it is they who have a problem and that maybe they are not doing enough. So this guilt and the stress caused by trying to do more only adds to this downward spiral into fullblown depression/breakdown/alcoholism.

There have been many personal stories posted on this board of ones who were on antidepressant medication as JWs and found that within a short time of leaving the organisation they no longer need such medication.

Great advice in your post by the way.

All the best

Hopscotch

ProdigalSon

Being out of the cult isn't the end of the danger to your sanity if you still have the slightest inclination that it might be the "truth". Only after you see it for what it is...a total scam and a fraud, just like the Bible it's based on...can you really start to recover and grow spiritually.

For those still trapped in the cult, be careful with your sanity

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