by BlackTwisted 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • BlackTwisted

    How would you feel..when you are alone with someone, that they are your friend, nothing more than just a friend, opposite sex. just doing nothing but watching "That 70's show", laughing your butts off. and then the next day, you have a meeting, and the elders come at your neck about being alone with the opposite sex, who happens to be your friend since second grade! just doing nothing but just watching TV, and they come at your neck about being alone.

    OMG!!! that is so freaking irritating!! I am sorry guys, i am just agitated over this "shouldnt be alone with the opposite sex" thing, i had no attraction to my firend (we're currently both 15 .) and we've been friends since 8. the elders think we are gonna just pounce on each other and have sex- I am sorry, another thing, even if we did like each other like bf and gf, how can we get to know them personally without someone watching our every move?! I know jws who weren't even married and they don't have chaperones and they did just fine.

    Honestly, i think elders don't trust anyone being alone, almost every elder dont trust anyone being alone, i am not saying they shouldn't watch us, i am just saying do they need to watch EVERY move we make?

    another thing, when people are in a car, i say about 6 people, how can a elder be disappointed? they don't be alone, they are in a car full of people, and yet, they claim there wasn't no chaperone. There were a lot of people in the car.

    okay, sorry, i had to get this out of my system, has anyone delt with this or felt like this before when elders be talking to you about this chaperone thing? oh, and this only happened once, a few years back. it's just the thought of this is agitating. (sorry for my grammar.)

  • maninthemiddle

    Many elders and parents i have known do not concider a person a proper chaperone unless they are married very old or sometimes both.

  • snakeface

    One time a sister with a nonJW husband invited a group of us pioneers over for lunch. I - a single brother - got there first. She let me in because I was carrying some of the food, which had to be put in the fridge. Her little toddler was there. Just as I stepped into the house some of the other pioneers arrived. So I was only "alone" with this sister for about 45 seconds. But boy did I get counseled about being alone with a sister - and a married one at that! The sister did not get counseled.

  • WTWizard

    Everything you do needs to be supervised simply because the rules are unreasonable. The chances of fornication resulting from watching TV, especially with one or both parents possibly present though not as chaperones, is low. Even if they are alone together, there is almost no chance of fornication happening on a single incident. And just being alone together is not sufficient evidence of fornication, any more than a hounder alone together with a child on a hounding call is admissible evidence of that hounder molesting that child. Fact is, if they are going to require two witnesses for pedophiles, they should also require two witnesses to verify regular fornication.

  • lesabre

    i was chaperoned the whole time i dated my "worldly" husband. i was STILL accused of getting knocked up before i got married, and it was the reason i got married so fast. none of it true.

  • blondie

    Actually, they say this because so many elders can't be trusted with a sister alone.

    *** w93 2/15 p. 15 par. 12 “Let Marriage Be Honorable Among All”***Elders doing shepherding calls also need to exercise caution so as not to be alone with a sister when counseling her. Conversations can become emotionally charged and result in an embarrassing situation for both parties.—Compare Mark 6:7; Acts 15:40.

    *** w93 5/15 p. 22 par. 17 Shepherd the Flock of God Willingly ***One respected elder who had served faithfully for years became involved in immorality because he made shepherding calls on a married sister when she was alone. Though repentant, the brother lost all his service privileges. (1 Corinthians 10:12)

    *** w93 5/15 p. 22 par. 18 Shepherd the Flock of God Willingly ***When a married sister requests spiritual help, can you arrange for her husband to be present during the visit? What if this is impossible or he is an unbeliever who has been abusive to her in some way? Then make the same arrangements you would when a shepherding call is made on an unmarried sister. It would be wise for two spiritually qualified brothers to visit the sister together. If this is not suitable, perhaps an appropriate time can be chosen for two brothers to have a discussion with her at the Kingdom Hall, preferably in a room allowing for privacy

  • CuriousButterfly

    JW or not if I had a 15 year old kid I would make sure I was home. For the elders to get involved is crazy, this is a parent's choice on how they want to raise their child.

  • Snoozy

    Our circuit overseers wife got sick and had to go in the hospital. He needed help writing his talks up so a sister in her 20's offered to help him with the secreterial duties..well they ended up doing the no no.

    She confessed and he got disfellowshipped. She was put on probation.

    Later I heard he was reinstated.

    All because they weren't chapperoned...

    The funny part of the story is that she later dated a brother in our hall and they never went out anywhere or did anything without a chapperone.

    When they finally got married and they kissed at the ceremony they had a very long kiss..afterwards he apologised to the group and said it was their FIRST kiss!

    We all laughed...


  • Ding

    The Watchtower is a legalistic religion that -- like the Pharisees -- tries to control its followers by creating rules that are even "better" than the principles set out in the Bible so that no one can possibly sin.

    Instead of leaving it to the parents to decide how to supervise their minor children, the "mother" organization takes over and runs it all themselves.

    They even regulate what married JW couples can and can't do in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

  • Elder-Patrol

    There is a psychological phenomenon (sometimes referred to as " propinquity" ) which observes that almost ANY two persons in regular isolated proximity will almost invariably become friendly and even have a disproportionately increased likelihood of sexual attraction. The phenomenon is one reason why assumedly heterosexual persons may "experiment" with homosexual behavior in sorority, prison, and foxhole situations.

    If regular isolated proximity has such a powerful affect on two adults, it seems more than a bit naive to assume it cannot happen to two 15-year-olds.

    If your country or state permits two 15-year-olds to marry, and if both sets of parents permit the dating, then the elders' personal opinions really have no place. Did they push opinion? It seems there are many Scriptures which tend to support the wisdom (if not the requirement) of chaperones. Of course, the elders were once 15 and have likely seen what strategies have and have not proven successful for other dating couples. In amongst all the counsel you receive, it seems likely that you and your parents will find some that is useful.

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