for over a year i have felt the borg is a cruel hurtfull religion that would swallow up empathy for forced unity. my wife has said to me that telling her how i believe the org is NOT gods channel and the many doctrines put in place are nothing but a shroud covering up control tactics is like telling her i have a terminal illness. this has not swayed my research nor has her pressure to continue going to meetings. i have never shown her any "apostate" sites or printed material as i feel this would turn her off and possibly bring out a negative response and even though some heated discussions have taken place i have always listened to her, tactfully pointing out the flaws and coldhearted tactics by the org and her supposed friends employ. this has slowly allowed her to piece together her own doubts and i feel anyone as ingrained as my wife into this religion must search for themselves without pressure. i say these things not to brag, just to lay out my gameplan to anyone that might be able to use it themselves. lately our children have been given several birthday party invites and when she tells me about them i ask her why she thinks they are so bad that our children bear the pressure and personal responsibility of holding up doctrines and gods righteousness based on simplistic interpretations not direct commands from the scripture. this approach over time(asking questions rather than giving answers) has produced more benefits for her than any article from freeminds or any other site(she is not ready for them yet). in the past months she has stated "i dont know what to believe anymore, you do not believe in it". i have always avoided running with her statements and choose to let her continue or i will say" i just have some problems with the lack of love in the org and have proven to myself that brooklyn bethel does not have divine authority" siting known examples.
well yesterday she and i were talking about the birthday invitaitions again and a few other things and she just broke down into tears and looked up at me (i was working on a ladder) and calmly said " i get it now, you make scense and i dont know what to do, everone seems programmed". i swear i almost fell off the ladder, she continued and told me how talking to her mother about being more caring and less judging of her grandchildren has only proven to her that love is second to unity in this org. i gave her a big hug and she said she dosent know what she belives anymore and i responded " you have always lived by love and compassion, that is enough" ( i dont know how i though of that as fast as i did) i also stated i do not know all the answers and just want us to be a happy family.
so hopefully we can begin our slow fade and maybe soon i will introduce her to this forum. i want to stress to members that are still with believing JWs that i pray for you and sometimes become emotional when i read your pain and in no way want to gloat or offend you, maybe this post can be encouraging