wanted to touch base.... think I'm doing ok

by song19 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • song19
    song19

    It has been a while since I have posted, but my husband and I frequently visit to see what the latest happenings are.

    Going on 3 years being out of the borg... and life is starting to feel normal. Halloween, birthdays and Christmas; we’re starting to make our own traditions. I rarely find myself thinking about the borg anymore and my Tuesday nights come and go without me thinking that I use to go to meetings. LOL The kids are still young and they don’t recall any of that crap, but then again I never instilled it in them that they would die if they didn’t go to meetings.

    So... approaching 3 years didn’t really happen without consequences... lost my parents and my brother to the borg. My zeal for the truth about the truth didn’t shut me up and I blabbed all what I discovered. It wasn’t all prim and proper and may discussions ended up in arguments. We moved to a nearby city a year and a half after my husband and I exited the org. (not DFd or DAd) and never told anyone where we moved to.

    My kids no longer ask about their grandparents and my youngest no longer recognizes them in photos. I sometimes wonder if I should call my folks... but then I think, why. My parents turned their back on me, deliberately walked out of my life, didn’t returned borrowed money (that really pisses me off), and tarnished my name to every person I ever knew in my entire life. Never mind the hypocrisy of their behaviour... arggg. Even if we did talk today, what the hell would we talk about? Our relationship only revolved around being a jw; that was all we were, it consumed us... I don’t know who my parents are other than brainwashed dubs... and since my rebirth nearly 3 years ago, I am a completely different person. I honestly can’t see what kind of relationship could even be maintained. Am I reversing shunning? Probably. It has been so long, it doesn’t even matter to me anymore. It is unfortunate since I am sure kids love to have their grandparents. They are strangers to me now, just like all my old jw friends who were merely friends because we had something in common, the congregation we attended.

    Anyhoo... just wanted to touch base and say that although I am not active here, the support is still appreciated. So... as time keeps moving, that part of my life grows dimmer and dimmer. I look back with a lot of regret, but since I can’t do anything about the past, time is slowly starting to heal the hurt and I am embracing the life I have ahead of me. I’m trying to live the life I want and make genuine friends in the process. It’s not perfect, but I’m trying.

    I just felt like writing to you all today. Thanks for listening.

  • 3Mozzies
    3Mozzies

    I'm new so I never read any of your older posts. Nice to meet you Song19.

    Thanks for your (update)story, it really sucks how the stupid Borg controls peoples thinking.

    When family shun you because a bunch of a-holes in NY tell them to, what part of their brain is theirs anymore? So sad and disgusting!

    Awesome to hear that your kids don't remember any of the cult teachings! That put a smile on my face :)

    I wish to move to another city as well, I can't stand being around these Borg members that treat me & others that have left as leapers.

    I read something once that said:

    "If someone doesn't think for themselves, they are not a true friend"

    3Mozzies

  • VampireDCLXV
    VampireDCLXV

    Ummm... Hi!

    It's nice to have the Borg completely out of your life, but the price you pay for it...

    V665

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    That was a nice story. You guys are going to make it and do just fine.

    Think About It

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Thanks for your comments, you made some interesting points. It is hard to want to have a relationship with JW family when they are so consumed within their own little worlds.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    That's all great news, except, of course, losing your family. You just never know; someday one or all of them may be looking to you to help them out of the cult. I never expected it to happen, but my brother called after shunning me for 18 years. He's been out 4 years now and is very happy despite our mom shunning him.

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Hi Song - your post made me sad...so many of us have lost loved ones, its painful. I'm glad to hear though that your life is going well...lets hope that one day your family find their way out as well...Hugs to you

    Loz x

  • braveheart
    braveheart

    Hello Song19...i am new to the forum...and it's great to hear about your FREEDOM.

    Just a idea about the family who shunns you....I used to pummel my family with "Apostate Literature " and everything else that exposes

    the Mind Control Cult...that just drove them further away. Perhaps it planted some seeds.

    Years have gone by...Now I killem with Peace, Love, Joy...I ignore the WT rules....I send them Birthday cards, Christmas cards, ...I send my mom flowers and candy.

    I write nice notes about how we are doing...and I always ask about them...I always tell them I miss them and invite them to visit.

    Love seems to be cracking the walls...things are improving...warms my heart.

    Peace and Strength. -BH

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Glad to hear the update.

  • 1Robinella
    1Robinella

    Hello. I am fairly new to the board. I never read your posts but welcome back It's sad to hear "another" situation that someone lost family. My mom is nuts involved in JW's. Nothing I can do about it, she'll be 73 11/2010 (Too old to change her ways) and one of those little old ladys you see sittin' with the other old ladies at the KH. lol. Although we sorta have a weird, friendly relationship, I know it's not a normal mother/daughter thing. It kind of sucks. I am happy to hear that you decided to move away and start off fresh in a new city. That always feels good knowing you don't have to worry about anyone "dropping in" yikes. I always hated that. So happy that you never forced it to your kids. They have no idea what you saved them from. lol. For me I love the holidays. It's amazing to me that so many classic movies that I never saw growing up and I have a plan to see this year, like: Miracle on 34th Street; It's a wonderful life; Meet John Doe you get the point. My hubby (never associated with JW's) gets a kick all the things I've never done (in a nice way-he's never mean), like last year I had christmas stockings hanging on my fire place and probably a week before christmas I was filling them up for his daughter and for him...he started laughing and said "Those stockings are supposed to remain empty until christmas eve when santa fills them up..that's the tradition." I started laughing so hard my belly ached. Little things like that...wow! we really missed out. Have fun with your kids. I'm hoping to have kids so I can live through them. lol.

    Remain strong and pray everyday for your family to have clarity and "wake up" from this whole mess. If they do, welcome them with loving arms and start new again.

    Halloween is close and my house is full of pumpkins and decorations. WooHoo

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