What Its All About - Lurkers

by Amazing 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    TMS:

    "Sort of a ministry mindset. ..."

    If we try to lead people to somewhere ... like another religion ... your ministry thought might be true. My goal is to help spare someone from being a JW ... and let God take care of the rest ... whomever She/He/It is.

    " . . . Honestly, no one needs to tell us "what its all about"! . . . . Thanks, anyway"
    I could have been more lawyerly, and added more words and disclaimers ... one such would be that: "I am not telling you what it's all about for you ... I am saying what its about for me."

    It is an opinion ... my opinion ... a personal goal to me ... and others shared my opinion ... and some even added other equally valid reasons for posting ... and this is their view and goals for themselves.

    Some who post here have no goals, no concept of what they want to accomplish. They don't give a flying flip about lurkers or anything or anyone ... they just love to shoot their mouths off ... curse people ... and whatever else pleases them ... and that is their right. In my opinion ... I think they are mistaken in acting that way.

    And, somehow, some seem to think that when I express my opinion, that I am telling them what to do, or I am on an ego binge ... but, they are just reading into my words things that I did not say ... and reading emotions into my comments that I do not have ... I am not here for me ... I have clearly stated why I am here ... it is one way I wish to contribute.

  • JT
    JT

    I have enjoyed everyones thoughts on this thread- right on the money

    Hey -LIKE I KEEP SAYING:

    you goT to love this NET "THANG"

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost
    Even though I do not personally know anyone here
    or share the same ideas as everyone I feel like I found
    a kind of (sorry 2 B corny)family that has been missing
    in my life for to many years. Thanks for letting me be
    here and have an opnion.

    Now ain't that just so nice to hear! Plum, you ain't so crazy. We're glad you came aboard. Stay as nice as you sound.

    Cheers,
    Ozzie

    "It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
    Anonymous

  • alamb
    alamb

    Lurkers may realize that some "new light" is coming from this end too!

  • SEAKEN2001
    SEAKEN2001

    I'm in general agreement with you Amazing, especially on the subject of flame wars. While I detest ignorant name-calling I understand that it is hard to avoid. Most of us get angry now and then and are bound to get tangled up once in awhile in stupid flame wars. But most of us also come out of it none the worse for wear. I agree with the comment made about this being an "expert" or advanced site, as compared to a beginner level site. There are other places that beginners can visit to learn without so much interaction. Randy and Kent provide that type of site and they are very valuable. But at some point the beginner starts moving toward advanced thought processes and starts flexing their new-found brain muscles. At that point the person can go in hundreds of different ways. For some people, the knowledge gained at Freeminds or Observer is enough and they just continue to drink of the written words and thought provoking essays. For others it seems to be more necessary that they try out this thing called freedom of thought and venture into the scary and uncontrolled world of open discussion and argumentation.

    I do not agree with some comments on this subject that imply that lurkers will be forever damaged if they come accross a petty argument and a filthy name-calling diatribe once in awhile. I believe in personal responsibilty. It is up to the one reading to make up their own minds as to the value in anything they read or witness in real life. And we must be able to deal with the bad and ugly along with the good and beautiful. Maybe some lurkers will be better off if they run back to their "momma" and unplug their brain. This freedom is not for everyone. It may be knoble to always have in your mind the mission of saving someone from this cult and always say things that you feel will lend support to that end. But, in reality, all people are responsible for themselves and many will choose to remain in their cults for their own reasons and will never grow. From the perspective of someone who has embraced their own freedoms and regularly excercises their own brain, this result is distasteful, even repugnant. Nevertheless, we cannot control what other people think and how they react, no matter how nice we speak or how logical our reasoning.

    The real world is not so neat and tidy. I think we would do a diservice to any lurker should we all decide to present our opinions in a thoughtful and courteous manner because people are watching. That's not reality. Fact is, there are good people and bad people. Even good people say and do stupid things and bad people occasionally surprise you. Only in the cults is there this idea that some utopia can exist among humans and someday civility will evolve to be the dominant quality of every human being. Our personal views are just that, personal. That others do not share our values is a fact of life. That others will do worse than scream foul obcenities at us is a given. All who lurk here can eventully learn that this is the way of the real world and stop living in their fantasy world. Some lurkers will never get it. But all who share here are responsible for themselves and will decide what is or is not of value to them in their own search for whatever it is they are looking for.

    While I share the sentiment that civility and noble presentation is of value, I will not share in suggesting that those who participate in ways not so easily labelled as honerable are somehow guilty of stealing the chance of lurkers to someday seperate themselves from cult of the WTS. I do not believe any of us are responsible for that, even though our presence here may be of help to some who are themselves inclined to begin using their own brains and hearts. That help is not ultimately coming from a body of people typing messages back and forth to one another, but rather from within the lurkers themselves.

    Just my opinions. I respect your thoughts on this subject and find them valuable.

    Sean

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Time for a resurrection of this thread

  • DannyHaszard
    DannyHaszard
    Time for a resurrection of this thread

    Roger that,it's 3+years old just about the time i first logged onto JWD (at the public library)

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    I appreciate what is said here, but it seems like something is missing. While adults can see through the flaming and bitterness, even small shildren can detect fake niceness. I am repelled more by an unctuous taint of smooth words than I am by direct assault.

    If I fake my feelings, it will come through. If I am genuinely reacting, that will come through, too.

    Just a thought. I wonder, where is the room for me to become my genuine self through testing my genuine feelings and opinions against other genuine feelings and opinions if everyone sets saving lurkers as my sole/primary/guiding purpose? How is this a recovery area if tickling them awake is the only purpose of this forum?

    AuldSoul

  • riverofdeceit
    riverofdeceit

    I think all of us aside from those who started this whole site have been lurkers at one point and have made it this far. The point of this thread in layman's terms (which are all I use) seemed to be that we need to be careful about "stumbling" new ones. Sound familiar? Put on a false front to avoid letting people know what it is really all about. I'm not doing that any more. I came here after I had decided that everything I knew was a lie. While this may be a place that current JW's can learn that, it is also one of the few places an EX can read about and talk to those who understand what they have been through/are going through. And there is bound to be some angry, flaming, pissed off speech. The best part of no longer being a Jehovah's Witness is the same thing that "the society(how can you not know it is a cult with a nickname like that)" feared: Being able to think, speak, feel, and make decisions on your own.

  • GoingGoingGone
    GoingGoingGone


    The first time I accessed 'apostate' internet sites was in Feb. '05. I found JWD then, too, but I wasn't ready for it. My first impression was of a group of people dissatisfied with the WTS and complaining about it. At that time, I was looking for spirituality and the answer to the question, What does God want of me, what do I do now to serve him? I found ex-JW sites that mainly discussed deeper biblical topics, and that was enough for me at the time.

    While I haven't reached any definate conclusions on my spiritual questions, after a while I became less obsessive about researching them. I needed to get on with my life and deal with the practical issues of leaving the JWs. JWD was one of the first places I returned to - about 6 months after I first found it. This site has become invaluable to me now, and I'm so grateful to everyone who contributes here, no matter what stage of exit or healing they are in.

    My point is that everyone is different, everyone is at a different place in their life, and maybe JWD doesn't fill a need for all lurkers. Some people post here for a while and then move on. Some post here for years and years. And maybe some never need this place at all. It is what it is, a place for healing and for knowing that you aren't the only person who feels the way you do in the situation you're in. With that being said, though, I do think that common courtesy and respect is a no-brainer. But I don't think that people should avoid saying what's on their mind because lurkers might take offence. Saying what's on your mind and getting feedback on that is part of healing.

    Just my two cents.

    GGG

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