Did you ever do something for this religion that now makes you shudder ?

by man in black 35 Replies latest jw friends

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  breathing

  i ignored good friends when they were dissed

  i sat in on a public reproof and humiliation of some vulnerable soul that had "sinned"

  i let elders question me about such intimate matters and i even begged their forgiveness

  i cowtowed to those in "authority" in the jws for tooo long.

  i wasnt true to the soul in me that was full of love for life, real free life. I kept that part of me suffocated and voiceless and ashamed. also for tooo long.

  i let my best friend die by not knowing how to speak out and identify help anywhere safe, cos i was "obedient" and terrifed of the "keep it in the org" rule.

  i saw a close friend die through not having a transfusion, and i did nothing

  i knocked on door after closed fucking door when i knew noone was in, and most likely wouldnt be, what a way to spend my precious one life time!!!

  i have loads more.... im sure theres loads of us that do, but thats enough for one night,

  that was actually cathartic though uncomfortable, what a good idea of a thread,
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  Sam Whiskey

  I gave money...and time. I was sponsible for the accounts. I shoulda reached in the contribution boxes and grabbed the cash every meeting and gave it to the poor....

  By the way..I worked in the accounts dept. at the Dodger Stadium assemblies. They used to bring in cash...and PILE it on tables to be counted and sorted. PILES I said...... MOUNDS.....
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  Broken Promises

  Like MLE, I did things in work situations that should have been handled differently. I shudder to think what my co-workers must have thought of me at the time.
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  WTWizard

  Aside the usual wasting time and money and throwing things away I now regret, I can only think of near misses. I once got offered an apartment that was $5 a month cheaper (and not furnished, as the one I was then staying was). The person offering me that apartment was the scumbag that dragged me into the cancer in the first place, and he was about to become manager of that complex. The bait was that I could save gobs and gobs of money, cut way back on my work hours, and pio-sneer. However, it was much farther from work, the price difference was not significant, and it was in a horrible neighborhood.

  Had I made the mistake of taking that trap, things could have gotten much worse. The dingbat would have total control of everything--I would have had to throw away all my records and equipment, and he would have made sure my life was work (minimal), field circus, and more field circus. And it would have given him the chance to funnel me into his then-8 year old nephew, which would have been more than embarrassing and more than merely wasting my time, money, and resources. At the very least, it would have siphoned all my money (saving a lousy $5 a month is not significant, certainly not enough to cut way back on work and pio-sneer). Then I would have had to move in with the scumbag, and when he got fired for tyranny, I would have had to move out with him.
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  Found Sheep

  I gave a speach in one of my classes about the blood issue and convinced some that they would not recieve blood!!!
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  LV101

  YES --- unfortunately! i didn't toast when out in society (high society) because of the low society rules!!! ALSO, since i'm connected w/a BIG HITTER LAW FIRM (dude, i don't work) and heard more horror stories from the followers of what's not happen'n (the witnesses) because they wanted free legal, etc., etc. --- omigawd!!! i could have written a book the first 30 days of attending meetings.

  COME AND GET ME CROOKLYN! LIKE I FEEL THREATENED!!! I'D love to get my money back from the non-collection box, ANYWAY!!! CATCH ME IF YA CAN --- i've reversed everything. LIKE MY LEGAL BOY TOLD ME --- i've got bigger guns. they couldn't hurt me when i left (more reasons that one) and I HAVE NO BROOD INSIDE.

  NV1
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  pmljohn

  I feel bad, sometimes, for not standing up to my parents and telling them that I had no interest, nor any belief in what I was doing. I went through the motions for 20+ years, and at the same time leading a horrendous double life. I was way worse than anyone I encountered or associate with now. Stealing, drinking, fornicating, masturbating, the whole works. Of course if I knew what I did then, that I do now, I would have known that a lot of what I was doing was just stupid, and no "Worldly Person" would do half of what I did. But, the forbidden fruit was described in such horrible, graphic, exciting terms. As a JW, all worldly people did horrible, sexual, violent, insane things. And since my PO dad forbid even the common sense things, like PG movies and Knight Rider, I rebelled like a crazy, insane person. And I paid the price, over and over. But if I had just stepped up, faced my dad and said "I don't believe in this shit and I want out," perhaps I would have become the better person that I turned into, way too late in life. I burned a lot of bridges and ticked a lot of people off with my behavior, behavior I was raised to believe was "normal" for the world.

  Now, I know how wrong that information was and still is. My parents still are as gung-ho as they were when I was young, but they know full well where I stand now. And surprisingly, they accept me and enjoy my company. I know they still would love to have me back in. They still think they know that I will not be in paradise. But I feel I have a much closer, more respected relationship with them now. And, I don't feel guilty about a thing. That guilt over leading a double life and hiding my "real" self from my parents was tiresome and created emotional and physical issues over time.
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  Snoozy

  I wouldn't have wasted my time helping people that weren't worthy of my time. (JW's.)

  They really took advantage of me.

  So much so that an elder got involved one time.

  I did it in the name of love for Jehovah and his people..

  I was totally brainwashed!

  Snoozy
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  Satanus

  I gave a talk on evolution in one of my classes, grade ten, i believe. Then, i fielded the kids' questions, after. I knew the subject from the wt perspective better than the kids knew evolution, so i held my own. I feel stupid about it, now. But, i DID practice the religion.

  Also, i dropped out of the school singing club, because the christmass pagent was it's biggest thing. I used to love singing in the group.

  S
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  wasblind

  Yea, became an unbaptised publisher

  and accompanied sisters on their bible

  studies, now when i see some of the householders

  I try to duck and hide

  I'm so shame