serious advice

by antes8080 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • antes8080
    antes8080

    am kind new posting here in this site... but i need some advice i got 4 bible studys i can no longer lie to them as am having lots of doubts whay do i do tell someone else to give them study, just stop going, tell them to look online about JW history, two of them are attending th KH so what you think i should do????

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Is your goal to fade away quietly?

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I wouldn't turn the studies over to another JW. They'll just further the poor folks' indoctrination.

    I think what you decide to do with the students relates directly to what you plan to do yourself. Are you going to leave the organization? If so, just tell them the truth and show them how to find it for themselves. Tell them that you were indoctrinated into a dangerous mind control cult and have been instructed to indoctrinate others but that now you have discovered that and will not be a party to it anymore. Show them jwfacts.com and freeminds.org and this and other online message boards. Then let them make their own decision.

    If you do not plan to leave the organization then it gets complicated.

  • yknot
    yknot

    Are you studying with another JW tagging along?

    I have ideas but tell me more about your situation (you can PM me)....

    What is the type of ending you want for yourself and them?

  • antes8080
    antes8080

    yes fade gradually is my plan... most the time i go by myself... yknot pm me and all answear back...

  • Cindi_67
    Cindi_67

    This is a very difficult question. Unless you are willing to step out all the way from the organization, face a disciplinary committee (or not), then be honest with the students and tell them how you feel. If you don't want to do that just tell them that due to personal issues you won't be able to continue giving them Bible studies and ask them what do they want to do. You may also ask how do they feel about what they have learned so far and to be honest with you, maybe they have questions they are afraid to ask, or things they disagree with and you may tell them to be thourough in their studies and not make a decision they are not sure about.

    I understand you feel like a hypocrite by telling them things you personally don't care about or believe in, and that is certainly not a good feeling. But remember that there will be consequences to your decision and only you know how you will handle the outcome. Do you have family members in the organization? How long have you been baptized? If you have outside support like friends and family and you are the only one in the organization, then by all means do what you feel it's right. But if all your family and friends are JW's then you be prepared for the stress and the deprogramming, it is not easy.

  • yknot
    yknot

    PM sent!

  • tec
    tec

    Sorry, but I'm with Mad. Regardless of the difficulties to yourself, imo, you cannot knowingly bring harm to other people in order to keep things easier for your own fade. However, there are probably ways to covertly tell them, as I have a feeling Yknot will suggest in her PM. Even just slipping them something with the jwfacts website at the end of study meeting, carrying specific instructions perhaps about researching disfellowshipping and/or fading and the loss of family/friends that come as a result.

    I'm sorry for your position and the hardship you're facing, especially since you never did anything malicious against anyone, but only what you thought was good and right, , and so I'm glad but not surprised that you care enough not to want to bring anyone else harm now that you know just how harmful this is.

    Tammy

  • antes8080
    antes8080

    thanks tec,, i dont whant harm them but i dont waste there time and mine anymore.. one of them had already visit some sites and ask me about it at the time my answear was there just mad at the org like when someone gets fired from there job... but reading this sites is the taechings dont ad up most ppl that join the org dont understand the teachings and some dont make sense

  • undercover
    undercover
    I think what you decide to do with the students relates directly to what you plan to do yourself. Are you going to leave the organization? If so, just tell them the truth and show them how to find it for themselves. Tell them that you were indoctrinated into a dangerous mind control cult and have been instructed to indoctrinate others but that now you have discovered that and will not be a party to it anymore. Show them jwfacts.com and freeminds.org and this and other online message boards. Then let them make their own decision.

    The problem with that is if the OP is going to attempt their own 'fade' out, then this will get back to the elders. Two of the studies are attending meetings. The elders will assign someone to pick up on them if ante drops them. If they repeat anything, then it will bring the hammer down.

    Maybe a covert operation is required. Go ahead and turn the studies over on some pretense like sickness or work schedule. Then anonymously mail information damaging to the WT to them. Consider them warned. After that you can do more. You may have introduced them to the JWs/WT but then you provided the counter info. Wash your hands and move on with your fade.

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