How Do You Get A Dub Off The Doorstep???This Way??

by ladonna 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Budda Belly
    Budda Belly

    When I Pioneered, I had a 82 year old partner who
    was quite a prude. One day in service we approached a
    house with it's door wide open. The keys
    were still in the door.When we reached the
    door it was obvious that same major sex was underway.
    My knock of course was ignored. I suggested we leave, but
    the sister insisted we knock again. She let loose a major
    pounding of the door and in a few seconds a guy shows up
    with a major erection and says,"Will you people bug off, I'm
    trying to get off here." The look on that sisters face was priceless.
    When we got back to the group she proceeds to tell everyone that
    the guy was some pervert who had committed a crime on us.
    I have to tell you..This guy had a penis which competed with
    Long Dong Silver.

    This was one of my better "field service experiences" when I
    Pioneered.

    BB

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    Hi Ana,

    I remember way back many moons ago when someone really pissed me off at the door. It was a lady I was talking to at the door and she asked me if I believe in fairness. I told her that yes I did and she then replied that JW's have been knocking on her door for years and giving her magazines and this time she wanted to return the favor and give me two of hers. I forget exactly what they were titled now, but I think they were some Adventist mags. Anyway, I got put on the spot and grudginly accepted the magazines (with no intention of reading them of course) but funny thing was my pioneer partner told me to ditch them before I got in his car as he didn't want "Jehovah's spirit" to leave us because of it being Satan's material. I knew this woman was watching me so I had to walk around the damn block to find a dumpster to put the mags in. I always made it a point to avoid her house from then on!

    If I were to do this today, maybe I would give them a copy of Penthouse or Playboy...and when they recoiled from them complaining about pornography I would let them know the fakes in these magazines were much more honest than the fakes in their Borganization.

    Finally, if I was a really good actor...I would go for the script in Steve Martin's, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels...where he plays an obnoxious mentally challenged guy and asks, "do you mind if I go to the bathroom?" haha check the movie out to see what I mean.

    Skipper

  • Scully
    Scully

    Skip:

    Dirty Rotten Scoundrels...where he plays an obnoxious mentally challenged guy and asks, "do you mind if I go to the bathroom?" haha check the movie out to see what I mean.

    LOL I know exactly what you mean.... DRS is one of my all-time favorite movies. I love the way Steve Martin says "Thank You!" when he's ummmm 'done'. LOL LOL

    "Why is there a cork on the fork?" hahaha

    Another favorite movie was "Throw Momma From the Train" with Danny DeVito and Billy Crystal.

    DDV: "What are you doing hanging out of the window like that??"
    BC: "I'm selling the Watchtower! What do you think I'm doing??"

    Love, Scully

    It is not persecution for an informed person
    to expose a certain religion as being false.
    - WT 11/15/63

    A religion that teaches lies cannot be true. -WT 12/1/91

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    You guys all crack me up!!!!!!

    Damn hillarious!!!

    Mind, Adventist mags are what the "brinsmead" are a spin-off from.......get the drift??? ROTFL

    Bet those guys really like catching women out!!!

    Ana

  • DakotaRed
    DakotaRed

    My Mom used to tell them she "I am an Atheist, Thank God!"

    When I was about 15 or so, many moons ago and long before I allowed myself to be sucked in, I answered the door to two young JW girls wearing only my Fruit of the Looms and asked them if they wanted to have sex with me. I never saw them again. Then, about 30 years later, I was dumb enough to join. Go figure!

    If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

  • DanielHaase
    DanielHaase

    Hell, I just answer the door with a cigarette in my mouth, holding a bottle of JD, some Slayer in the background, IV of blood going into my left arm, a naked elder's wife on my couch, and a college degree on my wall and yell, "I'm annointed! Lick my prostate, bitch!"

  • JanH
    JanH

    Damn. Wish I could do some funny stuff, but I just have to show up in the door, and they run like hell

    - Jan
    --
    The believer is happy. The doubter is wise.

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