and so it begins... what next?

by bez 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    I agree with Lozhasleft. Keep your children away from anything that touches the JWs. Your family will be better and stronger for it.

  • Ding

    So sorry to hear all of this.

    It's amazing to me that she wants nothing to do with you but still wants and expects to see the grandkids.

    My inclination would be not to let her contact the grandkids at all unless you think it would hurt the grandkids to be cut off from her.

    I agree with Carla.

    If you do decide to let her see the grandkids, it's got to be closely supervised and on your terms.

    Otherwise she'll do her best to poison your kids against you and suck them into the borg.

  • leavingwt
    But she still wants to see her grandkids!!!! WTF!

    Unfortunately, by her conduct and attitude, she's demonstrated that she would be a negative influence on your children. So, I hope she likes supervised visits in YOUR house, at your convenience.

  • Ding

    Black Sheep,

    Sorry to read about your situation as well, but I think you're absolutely right.

    If JWs want to turn over their entire life to the organization, that's THEIR choice, and they need to accept its consequences.

  • SweetBabyCheezits

    Wow, Bez, I hate to hear what's happening to your family. Your situation is eerily familiar! Glad that you and your husband are getting out together. My wife and I are about to be DF'd (pending our absence from the appeal hearing) after my PO father turned me in for a couple of my emails I sent them. Here's the link if you're interested:

    We had several phone calls from the elders before they arrived on our doorstep and, like an idiot, I opened the door. In hindsight, I really believe their goal was to get us to DA ourselves or say something that would allow them to DA us. That's a much cleaner break for them.

    Anyways, I could be wrong but it sounds like if an announcement is read from the platform without the accused even being invited to a JC hearing, then the elders felt they had sufficient evidence that the accused had disassociated by word or action. I wasn't aware that the body could DF without a hearing unless the accused failed to show up. Again, I'm not aware of all circumstances so I might be wrong. I'm going mostly by what I remember from the Shepherding the Flock book.

    Also, the part about the grandkids... Yeah, my mom has clearly indicated that's her biggest concern now. They want to see the grandkids without having to utter A SINGLE WORD to us. The visits are already supervised after she told my daughter that people who "don't serve Jehovah" are blinded by Satan. She's waiting on me to tell her the terms of visitation for now and she keeps asking and calling because she wants to have all of that figured out BEFORE the announcement. I asked her why that shouldn't be considered "necessary family business" and she acted like it would be too uncomfortable for her. When I told her that I didn't know if we could 'work anything out', she said, "That's not right! That's like saying if we don't believe like you want us to that you're not going to let us see the kids!" Haha. Wow. Is that you, Pot?

    Whatever happens, I wish you guys the best. You could always try to help your friend see the injustice if you get disfellowshipped for "thoughtcrime."

  • bez

    Yeah thanks everyone, We still have not decided whether she can see the kids. But to be honest, religion or no religion (my brother who is not a jw anymore stopped her seeing his kid on the basis that she was a totaly shit mother), i can live without seeing her the rest of my life so perhaps they can too... and for the best! I just cannot stand the way she would use it to milk sympathy, just like she will be doing with me... 'ohhh i cant see my grandkids, and they are not coming to meetings anymore etc etc etc.... it makes me wanna puke!!!!!

    so i guess i am just to watch this space, wait and see... looks like we are gonna be gonnars without a hearing!!!


  • WTWizard

    Now that the lead hounder mentioned it, tell him that "Now that you reminded me, I think I will" since he already made up his mind. You are going to be tried for "brazen conduct", not for the birthday offense--it was purposely rigged so you couldn't answer without committing "brazen conduct". So, you might as well get the most out of your "punishment" and go the whole nine yards and "worship the sun".

    To start, I understand outdoor lights have greatly improved since the 1980s. The plugs are no longer the fire-starter types older lights used to have. You can get LED lights in C9 that are brighter than those of a few years ago, and still realize 90% energy savings compared with incandescents. If you are willing to do some work, you can get blank strands that accept C7 or C9 bulbs, and the colors of bulbs of your choosing. Icicle lights in LED are fairly easy to come by, and save 90% of the energy the old ones used to use. Bear in mind that quality lights are more durable and safer, even if more expensive--Christmas Lights Etc. has some really good ones. You can check Planet Christmas for even more suggestions for professional or high-grade residential lights.

    And, you can go online and research other decorations and ornaments you might choose. It is like going on a safari to look through all the options, and takes some time. But, once you finalize your decisions, you are sure to enjoy the results. Be warned that most beginners tend to make the mistake of stinting on lights, ornaments, and decorations--you will need to embark on your safari to search for professional advice to ensure satisfactory results. Or, if you are willing to spend around $1,500-2,000, you can have the professionals just do all the work.

  • bez

    SBC, sorry you have a similiar experience to us. Its so wrong isnt it.

    I guess they will arrange a JC then for us and wait an see if we will show up!!!! Will wait to see what happens. Will be interesting to see if they call by! And Im sure they will have their beady eyes watching during the holiday season.

  • bez

    WTWizard... LOL LMAO!!!!! HAHAHAHA

  • Think About It
    Think About It
    po " I have been informed you celebrated (child) birthday"
    hubby " I wouldnt call it that, we just simply recognised she was a year older"

    After saying this to the elder, would love for somebody to then say, "Most definately wasn't a birthday celebration....nobody lost their head!"

    Think About It

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