Welcome BloomingLotus what a packed introduction with so much trauma already.
Just remember you are an adult you do not need to do anything you do not want to do. There is no must it is all about choices.
As far as the congregation is concerned they seem prepared to let you fade and have made minimal effort to help and support you. You have already built a life with your husband that does not involve them. I would focus on that relationship. What they choose to do is up to them.
Your mother is not ready to hear the reality about her organisation. Rather then tell her try to get her to look into things herself. With mine I just said that I had concerns about the recent direction the society was taking. I asked her if she had noticed the changes in doctrine and what she thought. about things like the change in baptism questions, the change in generation, the change in the status of the annointed. I said I wanted to serve Jehovah not an organisation and needed time to examine what was needed to do that. The bible tells us that even if an angel from heaven was to tell us a false doctrine we should not believe them, people are infalible so the scripture tells us we have a responsibility to constantly check what we believe, I am exercising that right.
If something is true no amount of searching will make it a lie. Truth should never fear scrutiny only error and deceit need worry about that.
My advice is treat everyone as you would like to be treated how they choose to behave is up to you.