Those Awkward Moments

JustKeepLiving

Okay, here's the story. I have very recently been declared DA'd publicly. We all know what that means. Thing is, I live in a town of 9000. In a town this small, it is inevitable that I run into JW's who have to shun me. In the grocery, coffee spot, etc. I've had some very uncomfortable moments involving my former bros. So... What does one do in that situation? Ignore them and look like, for lack of a better word, a douche? Or put on a big grin, say hi and see how they act?

Got any stories to share?

antes8080

am still in but when i see df person i still say hi, and i hang out with a couple of my DA or DF friends

Lozhasleft

I think my husband has the right idea (he's an atheist and I met and married him after being Dsfllshpd) - he says that the org no longer have nor should have any control over me so that means they cant stop me speaking to anyone. Its true. Why should I give them that power? So nowadays if I do see a bro/sis I used to know I smile and say Hi ...I let them see I'm happy to do that as well. Mostly they smile and say hi back to me.

The shunning policy is ridiculously cruel and inhumane.

Loz x

oldlightnewshite

Just be normal and smile. It's normal to be normal. You aren't a JW anymore, so show them what normal is! I still smile to people that have shunned me, even though I haven't officially disassociated myself or been DA'd by the congregation. For me, 7 times out of 10 I get a good response. Even though it's doctrine, I think they all secretly detest having to be obnoxious. While I was 'in' I always used to say hi to DF'd.

x

badcompany

It's their game, not yours anymore. Only play it if you want to feel like a "douche". You are free now so go with it. They are powerless unless you let them make you act differently than you feel. Treat them like you would any other friend or acquaintance. Having been on this board, on and off, for 9 years I can tell you that you just may be communicating with some of them soon.

Sam Whiskey

My wife and I always say, "Hello, how are you? Hope you're having a fine day! How are the kids?" Now...watch em' run the other way like theyv'e just seen a ghost....

Ding

Be a normal human being.

When they shun you, the world will see what this cult does to its own people.

ambersun

The shunning policy is ridiculously cruel and inhumane.

Absolutely! I have always felt shunning was utterly wrong even as a Dub.

Me and Hubby have been DA'd over 20 years but we talk to any JW we happen to bump into and so far nobody has outright shunned us to our faces.

You jolly well hold your head up high. You are not a second class citizen and have nothing to feel ashamed about. You have a perfect right to speak to anyone you meet. Even if a JW tries to publicly shun you, do what other posters have said, give them a smile and say Hi, how are you? If they refuse to acknowledge you, they will be the ones to look rude, ignorant and stupid to any onlookers, while you will have nothing to reproach yourself about. How could anyone condemn you for being friendly?!

Anyway, I sincerely hope you won't have to deal with too many shunners.

Take care

ssn587

amberson you have it right, let them look, stupid, ignorant and rude. I have on several occasions been snubbed in public by these assholes, and i am not DA'd nor am I DF'd. Just somewhat inactive at that time (now too heh heh) One occasion was at a grocery while waiting in line behind the asshole po. Told him hi and he just looked at me like I was something he stepped on, on the floor. The cashier kind of look like WTF and I explained while he was still getting served that they are Jehovah Witnesses and this is the real way they will treat you if you don't play their silly games. I had four people behind me and people in line at the next cashier too. And I of course said all this in a very loud voice so that all can hear. I then said remember this when they come to your door? Several people behind me said they would, and this treatment isn't showing any manners what soever. He was embarassed then and still wouldn't acknowledge me. Told him by hope you have a good day. And just as quickly forgot him.

ambersun

Good for you, ssn587! I would love to have been there and watched you in action lol. I wonder how that JW felt in retrospect after the event. The incident must have unsettled him, being shown up for being an ignorant a**hole in front of so many people, just for obeying WT rules. You were polite and courteous yet managed to get your point across regarding how two faced the religion is. With a bit of luck it will jolt that JW into thinking for himself and realising how ridiculous this shunning rule is. I hope more ex JWs follow your example. Well done !!

Those Awkward Moments

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