I am scheduled to do it next month.
If you have completed the training:
- what did you get out of it?
- would you do it again?
- knowing what you know now (post completion) what would you tell others or have done differently to prepare?
Anyone done the Landmark Forum?
by avatar 10 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
JeffT
I did it back in 1987 when it was just The Forum. I don't know how much it has changed since then. At the time I did it, it was sort of EST light.
A few more or less random thoughts:
I was still a JW when I did it, I only went because my new employer sent me. I think it was a factor in my decision to leave the borg.
I got some interesting viewpoints out of it, some of which I still find useful.
I think for some of its supporters and participants it functions like a cult. I would say beware of getting sucked in.
Have fun, but make sure your BS meter is functioning.
-
sspo
Save your money!!!
-
avatar
Why save the money? I certainly don't want to waste my money but would appreciate hearing some rationale for your response.
-
Quillsky
Landmark is cult-like.
Disclaimer: I haven't attended so my advice is second-hand, but gathered from people close to me and other people I know, and subsequent research. I HAVE been to a Landmark recruitment/graduation event.
The Forum is okay and has some good teachings as well as some pretty scary ones. For example, calling people at 11pm to make amends isn't socially normal.
If you get involved in the next levels it moves to psychologically scary. If you don't recruit new participants you are asked "what is wrong with YOU that you didn't make those phone calls today?" That's why I attended a recruitment event, invited by someone I barely know. The poor guy, he was so shy but caught up in the cult of it. He's moved on now, thank goodness.
So my advice would be that if you've already paid then go ahead and take the first course (Forum) with a skeptical mind, and take what you can from it. But DON'T invite your family and friends to the "graduation" event (part of the Landmark recruitment process) and don't attend a second course.
-
Quillsky
Here are the Landmark Forum's 'seven commandments' for being an extraordinary person, and this is what your late, late night weekend will be all about.....
· Be Racket-Free: give up being right - even when you know you were.
· Be Powerful: be straight in your communication and take what you get.
· Be Courageous: acknowledge your fear (not necessarily get rid of it) and then act.
· Be Peaceful: give up the interpretation that there's something wrong.
· Be Charismatic: give up trying to get somewhere. Be entirely fulfilled in the present moment.
· Be Enrolling: share your new possibilities in such a way that others are touched, moved and inspired.
· Be Unreasonable: in expectations of yourself and others beyond what you would think they are capable of.
Note the "be enrolling" part. That's cultish.
-
SnowQueen
Avatar - did you do it in the end?
Personally speaking, I highly recommend Landmark Education - The Landmark Forum and other programmes they offer have taught me valuable concepts and life-skills that have helped me to reintegrate into mainstream society and given me the tools to develop functional relationships.
Whilst Landmark does have a few cult-like traits (far fewer than EST, or even Landmark 5 years ago) I don't believe it is a destructive cult. In my experience, most people who have done it would say that it liberates people from their past and empowers them in creating what they want in their life.
I did the Landmark Forum in 2004 and I remember being very reluctant to go, worried about being brainwashed. I found it very confronting and uncomfortable to begin with it, but I persevered and became very inspired by the positive impact it has on people, myself included. Subsequently I found myself choosing to spend a great deal of time and energy engaging in and supporting Landmark’s work which was both enjoyable and rewarding, although I can see that I was attracted, in part, to a sense of community reminiscent of being a witness which was missing in my life.
While most healthy people can participate in Landmark’s programmes without becoming in any way dependent on them, this could be a potential pitfall for people who have come out of the witnesses or a similar group, particularly those who have not yet educated themselves about cults and high control groups, or formed strong social networks to replace the ones they have lost.
Another pitfall is becoming evangelical about it! As a witness I was trained in having strong convictions and how to ‘spread the word’, so when Landmark caught my imagination it was easy for me to become over-zealous about it with a somewhat coercive enthusiasm. I like to think I’m far more balanced now - I strongly believe in the power of the Landmark perspective, although I now appreciate it may not be for everyone.
When I did the Forum I had recently returned from travelling for 18 months and moved to a new area. Forming long-term friendships had been difficult for me after leaving the witnesses. Not wanting to be bound by the JW way of life, at the age of 18 I had effectively run away to university, leaving everyone behind without saying goodbye. However 8 years on I was no longer 'in the truth' but I still felt 'no part of the world'. Not having got clear about my entire belief system being a sham, and sensing that all my early friendships had been conditional, I felt mentally isolated and unable to trust anyone, so I found it easier to be on my own and had developed very few close friends since leavi ng home.
Gradually I formed friendships within the Landmark community, which was an important process for me. Landmark graduates have a common understanding and share similar values, so I perceived the Landmark community as an inclusive, safe and predictable environment, a network of people I could relate to and trust, in what was for me a confusing and chaotic world in which I still felt very separate.
I have since learnt that you can never accurately predict human behaviour, regardless of what you have in common with another person, because we all have our unique set of views, histories and weaknesses. The best thing any of us can do is learn how to respond rather than react to whatever comes our way - something which Landmark gave me a great deal of insight into.
Although a long-term fader, before I did the Landmark Forum I still had one foot in the JW camp, 8 years after my jailbreak. Every time I went somewhere new I would visit the local congregation, just for the sense of belonging, even though I'd only attend for a few weeks - I even went back out on the ministry at times! I knew that some of my choices in life didn't fit with being a witness, but deep down I still felt that I 'should' be a witness and that one day, if I didn't go back, I would probably be annihilated for my disobedience (somehow I had reconciled that, feeling that I would rather be out and face the consequences than live a completely false life).
It occurred to me the other day that since I did the Landmark Forum I have not even thought about going back, better still I now know that I will never go back and that that's ok (and certainly not cause for divine punishment!). It broke much of the conditioning 'spell' of my childhood and taught me how to have a healthier view of myself, other people and the world in general.
Thanks to Landmark Education I no longer feel guilty about not being a witness, I have a satisfying perspective on life that makes sense to me, I've learned the skills to be able to really connect with people, I can be open about sharing my experiences with others without fear of rejection and I have a much bigger context for my life than I ever had growing up. I'm still processing the grief and trauma of my losses, but I am free of the fear.
Importantly, through my participation with Landmark Education I also came to realise that the alleged 'unity' and worldwide brotherhood is not unique to the witnesses, it is true of many other groups and networks that have a common view on life and common goals, most of which encourage rather than punish people for choosing to follow other pursuits in life.
Now that I have taken all the courses that interested me and I am stronger in myself I do not feel the need to spend as much time there as I once did, but I know that I am always welcome back and that the friendships I have made with the people in that community are not conditional on whether or not I continue to participate or behave in a certain way.
Also, now that I have a broader understanding of cults I can also see how some of Landmark’s methods could be seen as cultish and why the company still struggles to shake off that image. Landmark couldn't possibly be put in the same category as the WTS, however vulnerable, lonely people and those susceptible to authoritarian groups do need to watch out for believing it’s the truth about life (rather than simply a way of looking at life), adopting the principles as rigid rules, and/or becoming unhealthily dependent or reliant upon it.
At the end of the day we are social beings, we all need connection and community and it’s vitally important that we meet those needs in whatever way works for us. Despite the pitfalls, my Landmark journey supported my recovery on many different levels when I didn’t even know I was in recovery - it provided a new perspective, new friends and a new sense of what’s possible in life. Like eveything, recovery is an ongoing process, but Landmark really helped me come to terms with my past and enabled me to create a new future, something I will always be grateful for.
I have benefited hugely from Landmark Education in every aspect of my life since doing the Forum, but to sum it up I'd say that it has enabled me to reclaim my humanity, to forgive and have compassion for myself and others, and to rejoin the human race.
Ultimately, it has helped to set me free from my past and - especially with the past we've had - I'd say that makes it well worth doing.
SQ
-
sweet pea
Dear SnowQueen, you've shared some of your soul so eloquently on a 'Landmark' thread, I'm sure everyone would love to hear your story on a thread of its own . . .
-
Juan Viejo2
Don't be fooled. Landmark Forum is the natural successor to EST.
My wife's son, daughter-in-law, and niece all went to Landmark a couple of years ago. Just like EST, in order to graduate to the next level you have to proselytize your friends and relatives and invite them to your graduation ceremony. During the graduation, visitors are led off to other rooms where they are shamed into joining themselves.
"Look at the change that has taken place in [person]. Don't you want to support those positive changes? The best way to give support to your [relationship] is to take the course yourself. If you sign up tonight, you will get an immediate [dollar amount] discount."
Then you have to admit your weaknesses [or make some up] in front of the group of strangers. One question that I found particularly troublesome was posed by our group leader: "Think clearly and be absolutely honest. What do you do most often that your [relationship] would find offensive. Smoking? Masturbation? Sneaking snacks? Cheating? Pornography?" You're often doing this in front of your spouse or other family members. Not my idea of fun at all since I admit to many vices (like spending too much time on the computer).
In many ways, Landmark uses most of the techniques of EST, but just not so abusively. They also have similar mind control techniques used by Scientology. Werner Erhard (not! - his real name is John Rosenberg) was known to be a fake and a con-man who lied about his education and . And yet his corporation still has its hands in the Landmark mix for consulting.
My stepson was totally messed up for months after attending Landmark. When his mother and I refused to buy into Landmark's bullshit, he thought we were rejecting him. His controller/sponsor (or whatever they are called now) basically told him that his mother wouldn't support him and didn't love him enough to join in. And me, I immediately became the evil step-father married to his mother having ulterior motives.
It took us nearly two years to get the family relationships back into a more normal mode. I recognized what was going on immediately because I had been through the first couple of stages of EST some 20 years before at the urging of my boss. I didn't want to go, but he was supporting me for promotion and I didn't want to piss him off. He later was fired for pressuring some management trainee too hard to join EST.
I'm telling you the same thing I would tell a potential JW convert: Get the hell out while you can. Even if you survive, the hidden damage could last for months or even years. It's just another money-making cult. Kind of a cross between Tony Robbins (another shyster) and Amway/Mona Vie and the Moonies - except "god" is more of a presence than a personality.
JV
-
Dark Knight
I've done the Landmark Forum and it was great. It undid all the years of JW brainwashing and gave me a whole new fresh perspective at life.
Like they tell you at the start of the forum, "None of it is true".It's just a series of discussions and realizations that help equip you with techniques that allow you to remove a lot of the mental blocks that prevent you from reaching and defining new goals.
I definitely recomend it.