as my moniker suggests, I am "stillin" but I am working my up to being inactive. Some still have an optimistic view of me, because I am friendly and I don't feel like I have to make issues over every little thing. Others seem to be waiting for the chance to say that they always knew that I didn't have the true love for Jehovah because I have never felt the need to conform, or the desire.
I still feel badly about not turning in any time and I think back on the love I had for the special knowledge that holy spirit enabled me to have, so sometimes I give in to my own weakness and report some time that I may have spent simply discussing religion with somebody casually. I do this partly for my own warped conscience and partly so that friends who like me on conditional terms will still have a little something to do with me.
I like a lot of the witnesses and I respect thier choice, as I do ones who may have made a personal choice to become Catholic or Pentecostal or Buddhist. It's too bad that they feel so exclusive about thier opinions, because in a lot of ways they do use thier minds in ways that many in the world do not. There are a lot of witnesses who really haven't made any comparisons; therefore no real decision has been made. Only the "stick with the clan" type of mindset has been adopted.