Should I give my JW nephew a birthday card?

Essan

No. Not if he and his family are devout JW's.

If they know you know they don't celebrate and are against Birthdays then giving a card will be seen as offensive. Like knowingly serving pork to an orthodox Jew.

If they are very relaxed JW's they may act polite and thank you, but it may still be awkward and the card will probably be thrown out or put in a drawer when they get home. It won't be displayed. My advice would be pick another day, any day, and give him a nice (non birthday) card and a present as a surprise.

serenitynow!

My nephew will be 16 in a few days. He is not baptized but does go to the KH (I'm unsure how often) with my mom & is on the TMS. His mother is inactive and critical of the org. His mom- my sister, still allows him to go to the KH despite what she knows about the org. I have not exposed to him the truth about the org yet. He does know I don't go anymore, and recently in conversation I let him know that I was never going back.

Anyway, I hate to just let the kid's BD (16!) go w/out any acknowledgement. I tried to feel him out about his feelings, he said that the only good thing about turning 16 is that he could drive; but since he hasn't had driver's ed he can't, so whatever.

I already took him school shopping (which I consider my obligation- you know it takes a village and all that), and bought a couple of NFL tickets for him since he wanted to go. I consider the tickets a gift. I already told him about the tickets, but I still wanted to do something about his BD.

What should I do?

serenitynow!

Essan, it's funny because my mom- hard-core JW tells people happy birthday. She told me how she felt bad when she didn't send her "worldly" brother a card when he turned 50. I told her, hey go ahead and send it. She used to call her dad on his b-day and wish him a happy birthday. I should say that my mom picks and chooses the beliefs of the GB that she wants to go along with. She is more concerned with following the scriptures than the GB/FDS. My sister doesn't want to be bothered with the hassel of birthdays, so is content to continue to not celebrate.

I am tired of being a freak and not acknowledging people's birthdays. It's been a struggle just to make my mouth form those words.

Essan

What about a telephone call on the day to congratulate him on reaching a pivotal age - minus the formal "Happy Birthday!"? Maybe take him out for coffee. You could then have a card you had already written and say, lightheartedly. "Hey, how would you feel if someone gave you a Birthday card?". If he gives a good reaction, whip out the card. If it's a bad one, don't, but at least you still marked the occasion. If, he's cool about the card but thinks his mother won't be then just tell him to keep it hidden LOL. He's 16, I bet it's not the first thing he's hidden in his room :)

serenitynow!

He's 16, I bet it's not the first thing he's hidden in his room :)

LOL! His mom told me about a porno mag he and a couple buddies stole from a store. She found out and hauled him back to the store to apologize.

journey-on

I say buy one of those blank cards and just write a note inside telling him that as he turns 16, you were thinking about how quickly the years have gone by and how glad you are that he is in your life. Mention one or two personal things about him that will bring a smile to his face. But, if you say "Happy Birthday" I think it would be more for your own thrill of doing something just because. There's no need. Just a note, but DO mail it so he'll get it on his birthday...

OUTLAW

Be careful..

Some JW parents will verbaly beat the shit out of their kids for taking the card..

.................... ...OUTLAW

Essan

Yeah, I know it's difficult. The up side is that it sounds like with some careful planning you could be celebrating Birthdays with this nephew and his mother next year. It would be a shame to blow helping them exit over a birthday card.

carla

Would a 'thinking of you' card be acceptable without saying Happy Birthday? or just a random funny card that is a 'friend' card? if it doesn't say Happy Birthday what can they say about it? then they will be the one saying it is for his birthday not you, they will be the ones making a big deal about it. You could say, 'what? it's his birthday? no kidding!'

Should I give my JW nephew a birthday card?

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