The Bully Chain....................

by Night Owl 12 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Night Owl

  You are sitting in your cubicle at work, doing what you are supposed to be doing, namely, working.

  All of a sudden your boss comes over and starts give you a hard time. "Your work hasn't been up to par!". "You've been spending too much time on the internet!". He goes on and on and on. He is not only "under your skin", he gets deep inside of you.

  Unbeknownst to you, he had an arguement with his wife this morning and he's now taking it out on you. That negative energy has to go somewhere and you make one of his perfect targets..........again!

  You argue with him in your head for the rest of the day.

  When you get home, guess what? You start an arguement with your wife. "The food is cold, and you knowI hate when you cook it this way!". "The house is messy!". "I'll drink as much as I want!!". Whatever you can get your hands on. After all, that "thing" that got inside you has to go somewhere.

  Now, you wife is upset, and guess what? She takes it out on your oldest son. "You never clean up your room!". "I'm not the maid!". "You are soooo lazy!". That "thing" moves along.

  Now, your oldest son takes it out on your youngest son.

  Your youngest son goes outside and starts to pull the wings off of butterflies.

  So goes what I call: "The Bully Chain".

  Night Owl
• 

  truthseekeriam

  Yup.. Been there, guilty of it, and have broken it at times.
• 

  wasblind

  Hi night Owl,

  I learned that in a psycology class back in the day, and when i became a parent I tried to keep that in mind after a hard day at work.
• 

  nelly136

  and the moral of this example is......

  anyways you gonna tell us a little about yourself or are you just here to 'educate' us on how to be nice exjws
• 

  Inkie

  Night Owl, after the events you describe in this paragraph:

  All of a sudden your boss comes over and starts give you a hard time. "Your work hasn't been up to par!". "You've been spending too much time on the internet!". He goes on and on and on. He is not only "under your skin", he gets deep inside of you.

  I would grab my briefcase (or purse, if you're female) and say: "I suddenly do not feel well. As a matter of fact, I feel rather sick." And get up and leave. (Take your entitled sick leave.) Come back tomorrow. Tomorrow, I doubt if the boss will do that again.

  --Inkie
• 

  Cagefighter

  Well I got a couple of questions,

  1.Has your work been up to par?

  2. Have you been on the internet too much?

  I mean these are legitmate complaints from a boss. Actually in my neck of the woods these are called "orders".

  Anyhow if your boss is chosing to address issues and it makes you so mad you take it out on people at home you need to look at how you deal with criticism. I have had one or two bully bosses but those were very low paying jobs were I was probably stoned all day at work to be honest.
• 

  wasblind

  Night Owl is this something you went through personally ?

  i thought you were talking in general.
• 

  Night Owl

  wasblind,

  Actually, this could happen anywhere, not just at work.

  Someone posted something here the other day about an experience they had when they went out and saw a former "sister" that looked them up and down. She started cursing at that former "sister" or something to that effect.

  That former "sister" got under the skin of the person who reacted with just a look. That's how sensitive we can become to the trauma that we have experienced in our past.

  Anyway, it reminded me of this illustration.

  That's all.

  By the way, in that "psychology class", "back in the day", which was when, 1975 or 1988, did they teach you how to solve the problem of letting people "get under your skin", or did they suggest medication?

  Night Owl
• 

  wasblind

  This was part of our high school curriculum, back in the 70's

  oh lord done told my age
• 

  Night Owl

  cagefighter,

  Read it again.........carefully.

  nelly,

  and the moral of this example is......

  There is no "moral" there, but it is an example of something that we have all experienced at one time or another. It may not have happened at work, but something similar to this has happened at one time or another.

  anyways you gonna tell us a little about yourself or are you just here to 'educate' us on how to be nice exjws

  You don't have to be nice. You don't have to be mean. You just need to react properly to intimidation, which means not reacting to it.

  Night Owl