The Greatest Lesson the Watchtower Ever Taught Me

by jamiebowers 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • jamiebowers

    The greatest lesson that the Watchtower has taught me is to give the love that has been taken from me. Our mother shuns my brother and me to the extreme. Just this morning she told me on the phone from her hospital bed that we will have to learn her diagnosis through the grapevine.

    She wasn't always like this. Before she became a jw, she was an awesome person and wonderful mother. So, when it was repeated to me that she said she wished she'd never had children, I didn't take it too personally.

    Our "worldly" family is shocked and dismayed, and sometimes I think they doubt my pragmatism. But the fact is that the Watchtower cult took our mother's love from her children. It can't be replaced by anyone or anything.

    For the recently ex and exiting jws, I want you to know something. Although our mother's love can't be replaced, it can be replicated. What I don't get from her, I give to others. And I can see my brother, who hasn't been out near as long as I have, is starting to do the same.

    So, to all of the young ones that I've gathered under my wing, thank you for allowing me to give what was taken from me. It is a tremendous personal help to me, and the greatest reward is watching you go out and replicate the love that was taken from you.

  • zoiks

    Beautifully stated, Jamie. I am truly sorry for what you have lost, but I admire your ability to turn that into something positive and meaningful.

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl


    Thank you for your thoughts on this thread...since the day will come soon that my mom will find out that I am engaged to coffee shop guy (not a JW) and I will not return to the Borg & she will be faced with the choice to shun me too.

    She expressed to me last week that she is sure that my dad (faded JW decades ago) and my brother (living with them but not going to meetings) is smoking and she will have to turn them into the elders again and it will make her life so hard....I dont know what she wanted my response to be (I gave no response) but...

    you are doing a great thing, a healing for you and a help to all us lost ones out there....

    thank you, I hope I can pass along help and comfort to others in the same shoes like you have


  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More

    Beautiful post and oh, so true! The WT teaches only conditional love, and once I came to that realization, I have found the freedom to give unconditional love to anyone I wish, worldly, JW, ONE AND ALL!

    I ran into a husband/wife dub team from my old hall just the other day in the grocery store, and I was as friendly as I ever was, in spite of their fidgetyness and haste to avoid me. I continued to make conversation throughout the entire time that they were trying to avert my gaze. I just ignored their efforts to shun me! When I found myself at the check-out packaging my purchases and they were at the very next checkout doing the same, I smiled at them again which must have made them VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. Never mind; as I passed them out the parking lot, I waved and called "See you again" to which they almost came around, and waved in return! The scripture about 'heaping fiery coals' comes to mind.


  • snowbird

    Jamie, that is simply wonderful.

    The WT reminds me so much of the institution of slavery and Jim Crow, wherein, if you allowed it, everything was taken from you - including your humanity.

    I'm happy to see that you didn't lose yours.


  • PSacramento

    Ah th WT and the JW's, for people that proport to study the bible, they seem to always miss this part:

    13 If I speak in the tongues a of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, b but have not love, I gain nothing.

    4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

    13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

  • mamalove

    I really enjoyed your post. I too am in your situation and feel it is my time to give back since I have been helped out a great deal by other family and wonderful non-Jw people who are amazing. I hope my children grow up to realize that there are really good people out there. I am so sorry about the situation with your mom. You are not numb to the pain, but rather accept it and don't let it soak into your being and effect your life to the extent you are crippled like so many struggle with. ((HUGS))

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    Hey Jamie, Good advice and encouraging words to be proactive with our experience. I do hope your mom recovers.

  • Soldier77

    Beautiful example of someone taking something horrible and letting it fuel something loving and honorable. Jamie

  • cyberjesus

    I never thought of it. It is so true we who have our mothers still in and whom are "faithful" to their God lost also our "Motherly love". I do feel like an orphan. Talk about destructive cults.

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