Hello To All

by DakotaRed 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • DakotaRed
    DakotaRed

    Hi all;

    As you can tell, I am another newbie, so I thought I would introduce myself. I have been quietly reading the posts for some time now and thought it time to join in.

    I am a 53 year old grandpa (neither daughter or their husbands are JW) married to JW woman with three kids, ages 15, 16, 17. Therein lies the source of my discourgement and subsequent disassociation from the JWs. I outlined my involvement with the JWs in my profile, if any are interested. I am a conservative free thinker, not bound to any mindset and research matters on my own. I do not have a problem with what the Watchtower teaches, in general, but came to realize that what they teach is not necessarily what they follow, especially down at the Kingdom Halls locally. To me, that is hypocrisy.

    Maybe I should have seen it when I was studying. The Brother I studied with, along with his wife, let me know up front that I was really stupid for serving in the US Army and doing two tours in Vietnam. But, I let that comment slide. You see, the JWs are close to what I actually believe, but not completely. I don't think anyone actually is.

    After my trouble started within the congregation, an elder iinformed me to hang tough, that I was just going through a "test of faith." This is the same elder that chewed me out privately for 50 minutes outside the Kingdom Hall over some manipulative ;ies my then 8 year old step-son told him about me. This is briefly addressed in my profile. He also told me that satan attacks us where we least expect it, including using those in the Kingdom Halls, which led to the question I ask in my signature, how can satan and God's spirit both work inside the Kingdom Hall? I thought the KHs were a place of peace and comfort and a way to avoid satans influence. Of course, no answer, just told it was a "test of faith."

    I don't have a problem with being shunned by the JWs as I did initiate the DAing myself. However, I do have a problem with them coming into my house and taking advantage of my hospitality, goods and wares and then turning their noses up at me if I walk into the room. Therefore, I placed a notice on the outside of my front door stating;

    "NOTICE TO ALL Jehovah’s Witnesses !

    If your conscience dictates that you
    shun and ignore the disassociated head
    of this household; Then your conscience should
    also dictate that you not enter the premises
    or take advantage of the possessions purchased
    or owned by that same disassociated head
    of the household.

    In plain English, if you cannot be cordial
    and friendly and greet ALL members of
    this house, then please exercise your
    freedom to leave the property!"

    Needless to say, I succeeded in upsetting the wife and her kids. In fact, the 16 year old daughter ripped the notice off the front door while I was at work the next day. I put it back up and informed them all if it came off again, I would paint JWs NOT WELCOME in two foot high letters across the front door. The wife came to agree that I was well within my rights as the main provider of the household and as the head of the house, to post such a notice, after she asked her elders and they stated that I was within my rights. With her asking the elders if I am permitted to do certain things tells me that our marriage is not going to last much longer.

    I do see the JWs as not being very family supportive, unless you are towing their party line. Even then, this "pure language" message they claim seems to vary a large degree from area to area.

    In closing, I bid you all a good day and pray that we all find the peace that God intended for us.

    If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

  • Tanalyst
    Tanalyst

    Welcome to the board!

    I'd post the same message at all entrance doors to the house. And then put 2 coats of clear epoxy on top.

    Your wife is just doing what they've programmed her to do. A cult is a cult.

  • BERNARD
    BERNARD

    Welcome to the board. My name is Bernard
    I also da'd myself my wife and kids still
    go i've been out for two years now. Im
    more happier then i've ever been since
    I left. My mother in law shuns me which
    is a blessing in disguise and my wife
    is not as zealous anymore and I let her
    carry on there paradise hope as others did with
    me until they see for themselves,LIke I seen for
    myself what the watchtower is made of which is tower of
    broken promises.In fact I joined a church today and replaced
    the conditional love I once had with the jehovah witnesses
    to unconditonal love with the NEW HOPE BAPTIST CHURCH.
    ANYTHING CAN BE REPLACED BUT YOUR OWN LIFE LIVE SO LIVE
    IT AS YOU SEE FIT.Im also a free thinker, I don't debate with
    my jw wife like I use too, its a waste of time with people
    programmed as I once was not to listen to common sense or
    reason just let them live forever and watch.They will feel dum
    after awhile and this has worked for me just move on with your
    individual life and prove them wrong with your actions of not
    playing there satan the devil. Stay bigger then the watchtower
    and keep the family together if that's your desire.

  • AIRVIEW1
    AIRVIEW1

    DakotaRed,
    Welcome to the board. Many of us are trying to figure thigs out for ourselves here. Back when I was in the org. I had to go to the elders on private matters because I wanted to make sure I was staying in line with Jehovah's will. I would usually be directed to the watchtower bound volume of a certain year page 14 paragraph 11.,kinda the way an attorney looks up certain legal issues. You just are not encouraged to think for yourself and if mamma didn't print it
    then you'd better wait for clarification. Im glad I don't have to deal with all that now.

    airview

  • GoldDustWoman
    GoldDustWoman

    DakotaRed, a big welcome to you!

    You wrote:

    The wife came to agree that I was well within my rights as the main provider of the household and as the head of the house, to post such a notice, after she asked her elders and they stated that I was within my rights.
    The elders declared the sign "within your rights", huh? Silly me, I always thought that was for the local city, or county, officials to decide. [8&>]

    Andee

  • out4good3
    out4good3

    Very interesting. The wife thinking you need clearance from the elders, even when you're DA'd, to make decisions in your own house. That's one if the issues I had to deal with with my spouse when I got tired of the manipulative old men in the congregation. Frankly, and I've let my wife know this in advance since she still choose to attend meetings, she's on notice that I'll be cordial to the brothers and sisters while they're in my home, but if I suspect that I'm being ignored or if they're acting in they're usual condescending way, they will be rudely shown the door. They can pull that shit while they are in the KH but not while their on my turf.

    I've also made clear that any major decisions we/I make are ours/mine alone and not subject to the clearance of the elders in the congregation. If she wants to live subject to the whims of the congregation elders, I'll gladly step aside and let them pay all her bills.

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    Welcome DakotaRed

    Glad you're here. I was rofl at the sign you posted. Way to go, dude, and certainly a reasonable reaction, altho I'm sure it doesn't lessen the tension in your home, which is unfortunate. But hey! at least you got the elders' "permission" to leave it up! (sarcasm, in case anyone didn't notice)

    Dana

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    Hi Dakota,

    Welcome! It is very unusual to see someone actually living in the Dakotas willing to be in a conflict in the winter.

    I live in South Dakota. Winters are long and very cold here. We usually wait until spring to be in conflict. Moods are worse in winter and attorneys tend to charge more in winter due to snow removal costs. Also, possessions thrown in the street in January tend to freeze down. We also notice religion issues seem worse in winter due to the longer nights I guess.

    I have had relatives fractionally shunning me and wanting to borrow my tractor and mower to mow the Witness owned property. They would come right into my house and snub me. I called them one by one and told them not to come back, and why.

    In my opinion, my reward has been their shunning me. I hope they keep it up.

    If I had a Witness wife and 3 little JW's living with me I would slit my throat.

    Being an ex-jw is a contact sport:-)

    gb

  • CornerStone
    CornerStone

    Hello DR and welcome to the board!

    I'm sorry you have to endure this type of treatment by your family. As you can see, the 'friends' were not realy friends at all. Especially when you needed them the most. No spirit of love, no spirit of comfort, in fact, no spirit of God at all.

    I hope your marriage can endure. The best you can do is be there for your family.

    Good show posting your message on your front door. When the 'friends' come by and shun you they are in effect practicing SPIRITUAL ABUSE. By letting them know you don't pratice spiritual abuse in your house you are taking away one if their most powerful control weapons. AND THEY HATE IT WHEN THEY CAN'T HURT YOU IN THE NAME OF JEHOVAH!!! Just shows you how sick many of then are. How 'seared' their consciencess are.

    I can honestly relate to you how close aspects of the congregation are to what you think is right and believe but my experience has shown me it is all a veneer, a covering, a 'sheeps clothing' that hides a wolf!

    For proof, just look at how they treat you. Look how they get your family to treat you. They unabashedly usurp your headship in favor of the societys'. They push you out by breaking up your family and move in and take over.

    I'm starting to rant. I'm sure all this has crossed your mind. My only suggestion is to FIGHT for your family. Defending your family against these invaders is one of the best expressions of love that I know of. Take care

    CornerStone

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    LOLOL Gary. Shunning DOES have its upside, no?? No more having to deal with all the bulls**t

    Dana

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