by bobfleur 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lozhasleft

    Welcome to the forum - its a good place to be. Its painful isnt it finding out we've been misled - hence losing faith in the Org completely. I came out with my faith in God intact and it remains to this day but I do understand how so many others lose it. I'm so glad to hear you've been able to reach your wife so that at least you have each other whilst you heal and move on with your lives. You dont mention the ages of your children but I hope they're young enough to move on without too much damage.

    I'm sure others will recommend that you read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz as soon as you can - a wonderful book by a fine man, and his second one In Search of Christian Freedom is excellent too. As far losing friends is concerned, its not easy I was in for around 30 years and since I was Dsflwshpd there's only one dear friend who keeps in touch by text messages. Heartbreaking. I've also lost my 5 adult kids the same way.

    In my new life these days I try to embrace everyone I meet and being back at Uni as a very mature student has helped. Be pro active in searching for areas where you can meet people is my suggestion.

    I hope you find as much comfort here as I have - if your wife doesnt choose to join but wants to chat she is welcome to PM me via your account.

    Loz x

  • Farkel

    :We left officially last winter, the biggest problem now is the loss of friends

    Please make it your first priority to re-think what you mean when you say "friends." JWs have only a strict CONDITIONAL friendship and will spiritually slit your throat in a heartbeat if you break any of those conditions. You can trust your enemies more than you can trust "friends" like that.

    Outside of the Watchtower Prison Walls it will not take you long to discover what a REAL friendship can be like: one that is not conditioned upon what you believe or think, but based upon who you are and not what you DO or don't do.


  • bohm

    Welcome! Good to see another new face!

  • DaCheech

    i love to hear from new ones

  • yknot

    Somethings just take time.......

    Churches kind of act like KHs in sorts of finding 'instant friendships'......

    I am like your wife when I attend with kids at his chruch.......nice people, don't get me wrong but it is just so foreign to me and so far no giant hand has showed up to write mene mene tekel nor has the roof fallen on my head or have I been struck by lightening (yet?)

    Slow and solid steps is what many will suggest .....

  • Soldier77

    Bobfleur, welcome! Now go read Farkel's post above and let that sink in.

    The problem with JW's is that once your "in" your in... insta conditional friends that you see few to many times a week. So this sets it up to be a very social environment. However, it is strictly conditional, become a low hour pub? limit association. Inactive? don't bother associating at all. Miss a few meetings? limit association. Get the idea? They weren't friends to begin with. They were 'associates'.

    Solution? Look up some community efforts in your area, get to know your kids friends parents, Do things that put you out in the 'normal world' and expand your horizons. It IS a beautiful world.

  • Inkie

    Welcome BobFleur: This can be a most interesting Board. Hope you enjoy. And congratulations! No need to rush into anything though. Take your time. --Inkie

  • jamiebowers


  • cyberjesus


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