why do ex-jw's talk so much....

by bittersweet 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Quentin

    I feel much the same way as other's already stated. Joined the board about five years ago, been out of the tower thirty plus years. The wt ate my childhood, teen to young adulthood. When I needed love, compassion and solid drection jw's threw me under the bus. So, if one post or comment I make helps someone, then I've had a good day.

  • Quentin

    Oh yeah!!!!! Fried okra, ummmmm...great southern side dish. Now add black-eyed peas with snaps. Heaven on a plate....

  • Podobear

    Trust Sylv. to come up with dish of the day! ... bet she makes a good Jambalayz and Jerk Chicken too..

    I have never labelled myself as an ex-jw, but chattering and off loading here has been very therapeutic for me. I left like an express train hitting the terminus barrier at 120 mph.. it was a shock to everyone (including me). All my "spiritual" vital signs were good.. so nobody bothered with me.. and that was the problem.

    I have been away from the congregation now for about 26 years.. but with a father who is still an active elder (at 82), and a mother who is still fiercely opposed.. our internal family "Mein Kampf" continues unabated. Thank you to 90% of the posters here (my darling Sylv. included) for being tolerant of me.. giving me room to speak.. to off load, and doff my cap in recognition when I am wrong.

    My stepping aside from the JW congregation has not interfered with my basic needs as a "Spiritual" man. As far as I am concerned I stopped dead in my tracks with JW theology/doctrine in serious warp in the early '80's.

    The relgion has changed to such an extent that I consider them to be Apostate! They even changed the baptism vows to suit the legalistic ideals of the Printing and Publishing corporation. I never took that vow at baptism. They have invalidated themselves. Not me.

    So.. I still believe in a Grand Creator.. still accept my Lord Jesus as the means of my Salvation. I am not "god-slotted" in any ways.. and still believe that "God's Sheep" graize on many hills. I will let the Good Shepherd do the sorting thanks.. I will not shun ailing sheep. For all you retro-Atheists, disenfranchised from the religious mind set.. I salute you.. You have greater faith than me.

    This is a beautiful planet, and those who live in harmony with it are Beautiful People. Sorry, Sylv. you have star badge.. thanks for the PM's.


  • Dark Side
    Dark Side

    Jehovah's Witnesses destroy families

    Christian religions are supposed to heal families and bring them together

    The explanation of differences ends there

  • jookbeard

    Dark Side that is a huge point

  • StAnn

    In the case of JWN, we can actually talk to each other about all of our experiences in a way that we can't talk to our JW families. And talking to non-JWs about this is somewhat pointless as they really don't "get" what we're talking about. I think that sometimes we are substitute family for each other, that we're able to say things to each other and have discussions that we wish we could have with our JW families. We find acceptance and understanding here and feel safe talking about things we kept buried for years and years. I think we ex-JWs need to talk and need to talk a lot to make sense of our experiences.

  • NowAndThen

    They've got deemins in their heads ever since they kicked J'hvah out. If initially they had one deemin, after J'hvah left, the one deemin went out and brought back nine more deemins, making ten. Ten deemins talk all the time, but the poor exJW considers s/he's the one doin' all the talkin'. Good reason the heed the counsel from J'hvah to not eat on the table of deemins.

    Deemins are powerful creatures indeed.

    Caveat: for those without a sense of humour, the above is written as humour. Lighten up.

  • AwSnap

    I don't talk about very often. But its on my mind a LOT. I even browse the jwn topics all the time still, and I've been out 13 years. I guess the reason it consumes my mind is that my younger sibling has been actively shunning me for 8 months. Reason being: we believe differently. Yet she encouraged me to 'do what I think is right'. I have not seen my niece in 8 months....a niece I used to hug and kiss and tell her how much I love her. Now she thinks I just disappeared...she doesnt realize that her OWN mother and father have taken me out of the equation.

    I continue to read the horror stories on jwn, and speak about it occasionally with others in order to keep it fresh in my head that I do not deserve to be shunned. The WTBS instills in your mind that if you leave the jw's, you're leaving God. Truth be told, I feel like God becomes closer to me as I go further away from the jws.

  • Podobear

    Good summary StAnn and interesting and (yes) funny anecdote NowAndThen...

    Anybody out there, witty enough to put comedy material together (please excuse the next very Brit. expression) to take the piss out of ourselves and the JW's. Surely, someone, has latched onto the idea that there must be enough material on this board alone to cook up JW/exJW comedy and black humour. Are you up for it NowAndThen?

    Sometimes, you know, the ability to laugh at oneself goes a long way to heal and cure emotional and even physical malaise. Is there anyway to "lighten up" our lives in this way?

    Did you hear about the good guy who died and went to heaven? Absolutely faultless, but never quite settled the issue of which church to "belong" to.. Peter, smiled as he walked him down a long etherial corridor, in his new angelic garments.. "Now" said Peter, "You can choose any of the mansions behind any one of these front doors, but I have to tell you, you will be here for a long, long time, so choose wisely.."

    He opens the first door. The guy begins to cough and choke.. thousands crammed into a super lounge, smellin' of incense and people repeating mantras in Latin.. "My goodness, who are these people" he says. Peter replies "Oh, these are the Catholics. You'll be anonymous, but be part of a Universal family.. and you will always smell sweet". "Don't think I could hack that for eternity" said the guy, "Can we try the next one?"

    The second door opens to reveal a see of multi coloured hats, beautiful west indian smiles and a strident preacher on a sun lit, pool side terrace. Lots of whispering and gossip going on. "That's a bit better" said the guy "but I'm not sure about the Hell fire preaching, and some of the comments are a bit back stabbing if taken the wrong way.. and those attendants covered in white sheets speaking in Southern drawl.. seem a bit sinister to me... I feel a bit uncomfortable.. who are they?" "Oh" said Peter "We had a bit of trouble sorting this lot out, basically good hearted but lots of bickering amongst themselves, lots of extreme views.. they are called Baptists.. of one sort or another" "Oh no" said the guy "Christian they may be, but I would be forever watching my back.. they make me nervous.. can we move on, please?"

    Peter's arm extended holding the man back as he opened the third door slowly. "Just brace yourself, my man, you are in for an experience here". The door opens on a large theatre and the sound of mega decibals of gospel music, people speaking in unintelligible tongues, folks rolling on the floor.. "My God!" the man said "I did try a spliff or two in high school, before Pops wrapped my knuckles and a bad trip taught me a lesson. It was fun on the first kick but it did my head in. Who are these people?" "Man" said Peter, "These are the Pentecostals and "Born Again" chasers. Tell me more about the spliff?" "Please shut the door before my ears burst" said the guy a little panick ensuing "Next door, please"

    "OK" said Peter, "I'll come back on the spliff thing.. just curious" "Now, I must ask you to be quiet as you enter this small room" said Peter holding his finger to his pursed lips.

    "Why's that then Peter?" said the man a little bemused.

    "These are the Jehovah's Witnesses" said Peter;

    "They think they are the only ones up here!"


  • mamalove

    Because it feels good to talk about it. That is my take. It is interesting, shocking, healing. So many layers to it all. Ex LDS and Mormons, Scientoligists, all talk about it too, their members have written many books on their exits. Good reading, good parallels.

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