why do ex-jw's talk so much....

by bittersweet 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • bittersweet

    So my husband ( who is a baptised witness who no longer attends meetings and pretty much doesn't believe any more ) asked me last night why do so many ex-jw's feel the need to keep talking about the religion even when they have been out of it for years. I told him that in my case I still talk about it because I feel I lost so much of my life to them and I am still upset about it. Also that many people have lost families and livlihoods, etc. And many people still have family in that they wish they could get out. I was just wondering why many here still keep talking about it so many years later. I will pass it along to him so he gets a better understanding of why it has affected so many people so deeply.

  • BluesBrother

    I put it this way :

    If a company had defrauded you, lied and made false promises....and on the basis if this you had made life choices that you now regret....and there was no Consumer Protection Agency covering their kind of operation...and they were still in business doing it to others...

    Wouldn't you keep talking about it?

  • donny

    The issues you mentioned pretty much explain it, especially the family that are still in and the years lost. I still find it incredible that I allowed myself to be taken in by it considering that I am usally looking for logic in what I do.

    Also, now that I am out and see the whole picture, I often get frustrated that friends/family that are still in it, cannot see it for what it is even after it's been laid out for them.


  • snowbird

    Tell your husband JW's were my life for 30+ years - I lived and breathed WT doctrines.

    When I found out it was all a mirage, I was devastated.

    I talk about it to keep everything fresh in my mind so that, when the time comes, I can help my daughter and others who are caught up in that travesty.

    Yes, amen.


  • nelly136

    cos it kills time until the next decent recipe thread comes up.

  • snowbird

    For Nelly!


    Now that we have okra on the brain, get out those iron skillets if you have them. It’s time for comfort , it’s time for soul- it’s time for comfort soul fried food. Try on my grandmother ’s never-fail fried okra recipe- you may wish you hadn’t, it’s that good!


    • 4 cups fresh okra, cut into dime-size pieces (never let me catch you using that frozen kind)
    • 1/2 cup cornmeal
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt
    • 1/4 teaspoon pepper
    • 1/2 cup cooking oil, it’s not healthy in the least bit, but bacon grease is perfect for the occasion if you’ve got it

    What’s Next:

    In your large skillet, preferably iron skillet- heat oil (or grease) on medium-high.

    In a medium bowl- toss together okra, cornmeal, salt & pepper. You want each piece of okra to have a nice, thin covering of cornmeal.

    Place okra in hot oil. Cook until well-browned, stir frequently.

    Enjoy this wonderful family recipe & eat some for me!


    I can't remember the source.


  • nelly136

    :) syl

    bitter it might seem we talk about it a lot but then it is an about exs/jws kinda board, if you went to a mums board it would probably be a lot about which end poos and which end pukes, encaustic board...hot wax n irons.

    hard as it is to believe cos things are kinda jw concentrated here there is more to life than jw stuff alone, as for us long in the tooth outs we've sometimes made and met friends on here that we're kind of attached too, and when you see someone whose just started on their journey out you do feel a bit of empathy cos you know it can be really hard, especially if they have little or no support beyond their puter screen initially.

    what might help one may not help another, but as we all have different personalitys and perspectives they can take their pick or disregard according to their tastes, but at least they know theres someone out there who does have a rough idea of what theyre going through and theyre not totally on their own. (even if we are pretty spread out geographically)

  • bittersweet

    That okra sure looks good!

    I think maybe the fact it isn't a big deal to my husband is that he still thinks some of it makes sense. How, I don't know, but to each his own. He was even an elder and all that nonsense. It's just my siblings and myself talk about it a lot and can't believe the crap that the society is still shoveling it's followers, and he just doesn't get why it bothers us so much. I told him that maybe becasue he was able to choose it rather than have it pushed on him growing up like we did is the difference. Of course then there are people who did choose it who are bitter once they relalize they wasted their life following lies. I guess maybe my husband feels there are better things for him to worry about and this isn't something he chooses to spend time on. I on the other hand feel differently.

  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    Bittersweet, I agree with you. For for my entire life that cult decided practically everything for me, so there is a lot of undoing to do. Also we had to suspend our disbelief and keep quiet about hundreds of issues for so long that when it starts spilling out it just keeps coming. I even have a rough draft of a little book started and I add to it on a regular basis. Maybe difference between the way men and women view things. NMKA

  • jamiebowers

    The Watchtower counted on the silence that df'ing brings until the INTERNET. They can't shut us up now. Despite the THOUSANDS of exjws who are speaking out, more are needed to help catch the poor souls who have fallen, jumped or were pushed off the Watchtower.

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