Something I Never Understood About Disfellowshipped Ones

by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • nelly136

    yup but you get used to it. life goes on, you age , you change with life experiences, you have kids, your perpectives and priorities change.

    and then when you get them back its a bit of an anticlimax cos those nostalgic memories you have dont really resemble the reality. your mind unrealistically expects everything the way it was back in the past before the implosion but neither of you have stood still for 10 years.

    we put the shunning crap down to experience and we mended best we could. but he was never my dad again and i doubt i was ever his daughter.

  • looloo

    when my disfellowshipped hubby was "going back" years ago before we got wed , he was told not to talk to another disfellowshipped lad who was also "going back" they had once pioneered together once and couldnt ignore eachother (neither got reinstated ) i knew a lad who was brought up a witness but never got baptised and married a "worldley" girl , she was annoyed that a bloke who had been disfellowshipped for years (for an affair with his daughters friend,a pioneer ) had said to her husband "your poor mother must despair of you " what a hypocrite ! this guy was sent to prison for child sex abuse a few years after saying that !

  • looloo

    i expect his poor mother "despaired " of him after that ! that disfellowshipped child molester refers to me as "apostate" and i was never even baptised !

  • VampireDCLXV

    I'm only a fader here but I'm wondering if my number will be up someday... To all the DFed and other XJW's, the JW's teachings are hard to get out of their heads. I think it probably is true that DFs are told not to talk to other DFs. It's kinda this hope that maybe they'll be able to worm their way back in and talking to other DFs spoils their chances.

    When you're a DF, you still have the JW crap firmly lodged in the back of your mind. You didn't get to leave on your own terms. You think that you're still a good person and you're conditioned to think that DFs and apostates are "evil" and you don't want to be "contaminated" by their "bad juju" somehow. It's all in the mind control thing. Also, XJW's aren't organized in any real sense of the word. We don't make any organized effort to contact the newly DFed and help them see that going back is not a good thing and that there is another way.

    But I agree, minimus, that really, why should we care? Why play by the rules of the borg?


  • dutchstef

    It Can be differend!!!!!\

    My mum also got df'd after a year and a half when I was df'd

    She had contact with me, more after she becam df'd too. because she than realised how hard it is to suddenly loose all your friends and family and how unfair.....

    She is back with te borg now( unfortenately), I think the only reason because all her friends are in, evendough she denies it, but she still have good contact with me, and she now recrets shunning people before. nowedays she greets df'd people. respect...

  • asilentone

    Well, I know one good looking sister that tried to seduce me, I turned her down. I did not want to sin against Jehovah. She went out with a worldly guy, she got pregnant, she got df'd. Eventually she got reinstated. Years later, she(now an elder's wife) heard that I am inactive, she shunned me in a very mean way. Sorry it might not be on topic, but it is close enough for me.


    A disfellowshipped one who shuns another disfellowshipped one is typical behaviour for members of an organization of fear, judgment and high control.

    I know what this is like, as I was one who experienced being shunned by another disfellowshipped sister. The disfellowshipped sister was trying --- and trying --- for years to get back into the good graces of the elders. She could not possibly afford taking the chance of someone --- anyone --- in the organization seeing her with me. The incident happened in a mall. She knew that the congregation was full of "squealers" who were just waiting to gain points by telling some piece of gossip to an elder. If someone saw us and squealed, it would ruin her chance of getting back "in" --- poor woman.

    I hated the feeling of constantly being watched. I was glad to leave that city and get a real life.



  • cult classic
    cult classic

    I've heard reinstated ones gossipping about df'd ones. They mention how they all hung out when df'd. But once the reinstated one makes up his/her mind to "get it together", they drop the other df'd ones like hot potatoes.

    Yeah it's crazy

  • Pitchess Co-Gen
    Pitchess Co-Gen

    I never experienced this before,but I remember C.O.T.B.O.E recomending not to even talk to disfellowshiped ones. Think thats hogwash!!!!

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    There are two sorts of DF people my opinion...

    those out that want to stay out

    those out that want back in

    they will shun the 'stay outs'

    to demonstrate thier 'integrity' to the CORP


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