Funny Field Service Experiences

by I quit! 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • carvin

    Not sure if this is funny, but it was cool at the time. I was just starting to aux Piosneer, I was working with this elderette who was very sweet lady in her late 20's. She had a regular study and would take me with her every Tues for about 3 months. Every time we had the study the girl she would only be weareing her underware. (the study not the elderette) We would sit on her couch and the study would sit on the floor it front of us Indian style. She was really cute and had a nice butt-(sorry ladies not meaning to offend)

    After about 3 months the elderette told my she was sorry to put me through that and didn't think to take a female with her instead. I said it didn't bother me, to which she was suprized to hear. It turns out that she took her elder husband to have the study and he told the study to put some clothes on, so the girl kicked them out of the house. The elder and his wife said to me that her being in her undies was Satan trying to tempt me, to which I replied, maybe it was just a girl who worked at a club late Monday nights(which she did) and we woke her up at 730 Tuesday mourning.

  • donny

    Back in the mid 1980's when I was living in the North Dallas area, a fellow MS and I were out in service and we encountered a friendly old man at the door who was very conversational and inquisitive. As he continued to tell us what he believed, I became confused as to whether or not he was a Trinitarian believer.

    So I finally asked "So what is your opinion of the trinity?"

    He looked at me with a puzzled look and then replied "I don't know what it has to do with our converstation here, but I beleive it's a very filthy river." (Dallas-Ft.Worth is built along the Trinity river system)

    I was caught off guard for a second but then answered back "You are right, it is not a very clean river."

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Wobble I'm surprised the demon cat story didn't go throughout the KHs worldwide.

    Lozhasleft experience sounds a lot like mine. We probably ruined a lot of peoples days.

    I think there is something symbolic in AgentSmiths experience about his future life in the Watchtower.

    Undercovers experiece if properly exploited by the Watchtower could have got lots of young men out there pioneering in hopes of finding themselves in a similar situation.

    Waterspout you could have claim that you and your sister were trying to destroy Christendom and they would have applauded you.

    I like that guys answer DaCheeh. More realistic that the pipedream you were peddling.

    To Jamie and all those who couldn't think of any funny experiences. I can see why. I really have to dig deep to come up with any funny about it. It was mostly a boring waste of our lives and we can only hope that not too many took us serious.

  • miseryloveselders

    One time I was in field service, and my buddy and I came to a door. The screen door was closed, but the main door was open so you could see inside the house. My partner rung the bell. On the floor was this beautiful rug. I was examining the design of it, all the while keeping alert so that when the householder came he didn't catch me peering in his house. But then I noticed something else while following the patter on the rug. This huge sword up against the wall. The kind of curved sword you'd see in Lawrence of Arabia. Then this Middle Eastern man came to the door. He had a turban on, was sweating profusely from working out. Very dark skinned with red eyes and solidly built. His eyes were intimidating to a degree. He opened the door, and said in somewhat broken english, "You are Christian? Yes? Please leave!" We got the heck outta there.

    Another time out, I went through a presentation with a young dude who I had awaken. I apologized to him, and offered to come back at a better time. He goes, "that's ok dude. What are you sellin?" All the while he was whiping the sleep out of his eyes and yawning. I went through the presentation, explained a scripture, then asked if he had any questions. He put his hand on his chin, rubbed his goatee, and took a deep breath. So at this point I'm expecting a serious question. I did a quick prayer cuz I felt I was going to need assistance on what he was about to ask. Then he says in a polite manner, half sleep, "I do have a question." I said, "sure, go ahead." He replied in a stoner voice, "do you know what fukkin time it is? I was supposed to pick up my girlfriend from the airport." I looked at my watch, and told him it was about 11:30. He goes, "shit man, she's gonna be pissed." This guy reminded me of Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused.

    Another time we were working a neigborhood where there was this nut yelling out at us from his front yard. Yelling and snarling negative things about JWs. Everybody else just passed his house without attempting to engage. Back then I was still doing the double life thing, and if I knew I wouldn't get caught, I would have beat the life out of him. When I got finished talking with the neighbor in the house next to this nut, he yelled out, "All you Jehovahs want is our money!!! Buncha vultures! You Jehovahs!!!" I replied back, "we don't do this for money." He goes, "yes you do! You swindle people out of their money!! You drive nice cars, and have nice homes!!!" I replied back to him, "sir I drive a used Toyota Corrolla." He yells back to me, "that's cause your not doing it right!" I go, "doing what right?" "Swindling people, you're not doing it right!" I just walked away at that point shaking my head.

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    I guess not everyone was obsessing about the Trinity like we were Donnie.

    Carvin, you should have told the elder you were gay and offered to continue the study on her terms. I guess that wouldn't have worked out good for you either.

  • exwhyzee

    In Highschool my equally micscevious friend and I ran into one of the teachers from our school. (horrors !) She was this mid fourties tough looking lady with a hard voice. From the look of her, she must have been out late Friday night and hungover when we knocked at her door Saturday morning we heard her stumble to the door, her hair was standing on end and she had mascara under her eyes and looked like death warmed over. She said in her tough cigarette voice..."whatdda you want??" My friend and I took one look at eachtoher and busted out laughing. As she shut the door she muttered "Rotten Kids" Another time that he and I were out and it was his turn to talk. He presented the Watchtower first. Then he said " along with the Watchtower we'd like to leave you with it's companion....the Awake." The main article that month was Coping with Sinus Trouble . My friend, who hadn't even bothered to look at them beforehand, said "We'd like to also leave you with the Awake magazine which is full of thought provoking articles such as COP-ING with SEE-NUS Trouble." The lady at the door thought it was hilarious and we all stood there laughing.

    My wife's mom was at a door with her 5 year old son and was deep into a discussion with the householder. A kitten came out of the house and the little boy started playing with it. The kitten circled around the porch with the little boy in hot pursuit. Finally, in order to escape, the cat scrambled up my mother in law's legs up into her dress and dug its claws into her panty hose and flesh. The rest of the car group was waiting in the driveway watched as she hopped and yelped and reached under her dress to unclamp the kittens claws. Then she stepped off the porch the wrong way and ended up straddeling a row of shrubs. In another incident, the little brother reached over and turned on the hose that was coiled up on the porch and it sprayed the householder and got the entry of the house all wet.

  • bittersweet

    My friend and I were about 16 and were at a door that only had the screen door shut, so we could see right into the house. We kept knocking but there was no answer. We went to turn around and leave and heard a noise. We looked just in time to see a naked guy coming out of the bathroom. We kinda froze, as did he. Then he just bolted down the hallway. We got away from that door fast, lol.

    Another time I was working with an elder and we were standing on steep stairs, with me a couple steps behind him. Unfortunately this put me at eye level with his backside. It looked as though he had sat in a pile of melted crayons because there was a huge multi-colored stain on his backside. I wasn't quite sure how to go about telling him that he had a huge stain on his butt. I didn't want him to think I made it a habit of staring at elders bums, but I couldn't let him keep walking around like that. Finally I just asked him if he sat in melted crayons and he asked why? I then proceeded to tell him about the stain, lol. I think he was glad I told him.

    Another time I was working with a bunch of brothers and I went to get out of the car and my skirt split straight up the side, all the way to the waist. I had to borrow one of the brothers jackets to wrap around myself until they could drive me to my house to change! Seems wardrobe mishaps are my claim to fame in the field service stories!

  • thenoblelodge

    My friend started her presentation, the lady of the house said, rather sharply, no thank you and slammed the door. Because the door opened out my friend had her head partially inside the door so when the door started to close she was nearly decapitated. My friend stepped back quickly and let out a very pathetic ooohhh. I fell about laughing, she nearly lost her head and all she could manage was an ooohhh.

    The lady of the house opened the door and with a voice I can only describe as Satan's himself bellowed "Dooooon't laaaauuugghh aaaat meeeee"

    I said I'm so sorry but you nearly took her head off, she replied, "III doooonn't caaare, geeet oooooffffff mmmmyyyyy pppprrrrooopppeerrty nnnnoooowwww.

    I'm ashamed to say by this time we were both out of control with laughter. Of course we couldn't tell anyone because we would have ended up being counselled for being disrespectful.

  • d

    I remember doing a house with my dad and the householder was a woman.I think she was of German descent and she kept saying "I'm hiding" we looked a each other and left her a magazine.All during this time she just kept saying they're coming.I think she must have been a Nazi Holocaust Survivor.

  • 3Mozzies

    This story in the newspaper (years ago) is just too funny.


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