If a person wants to simply quit attending meetings and quietly continue to live the life of a JW, the fade is very possible and very probable.
However, if the person wants to stop attending meetings and then begin publicly smoking, celebrating Christmas, voting and various other personal liberties that he or she would like to do, the fade may be virtually impossible.
Maybe, maybe not. I've read some horror stories on here how some have been outed for simple things. But then there are some of us who have persued those personal liberties and not really been hassled. It really all depends exactly on what you said next:
Some elder bodies will simply ignore this known behavior (or fail to inquire about it). Other elders will take it upon themselves to hunt people down, confirum these activities and then begin judicial actions -- even if the person hasn't been to a meeting in months or years. (The elder manual gives the elders the option to ignore people who have been away. It doesn't force them to ignore these people.)
Yea, some elers act like Gestapo agents trying to get to the bottom of the case. Others shrug their shoulder and carry on with their drudgery.
Some people tend to draw attention from elders anyway. Elders want to make an example of someone who wasn't well liked or didn't kiss the right asses all along before. Others slide along their career as a JW without ever drawing much attention, good or bad. They're just there. So when they go missing, on one really notices. And then when they no longer act like a JW, no one recognizes who they are.
I think I must fit in the last category. I knew tons of people, but had few real friends (even fewer I later realized). I think I was tolerated but because I kept quiet and seemingly out of trouble, no one paid any attention to me. When I went inactive, minor flags were raised but there was no real effort to bring me back to the fold. Now I'm so out, that when I see JWs that I recognize, I can't remember their names and they're even worse... they don't even recognize me.
When I went in the hospital some time back the nurse that had me fill out all the paper work the day before surgery was a JW. I recognized her and her name on her name tag. I knew her family somewhat. There was minor anxiety as I had already decided...and informed my JW family...that I was signing the consent forms for blood if an emergency arose. Seeing a JW nurse and knowing she would see me sign the consent was like something out of a movie. I fully expected her to run to the elders...but she didn't recogize me and the name on the paper work didn't ring any bells with her.
Sometimes it pays to have an invisible or incognito persona...
