Two questions for you

by asilentone 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • asilentone

    A. Do you try to "witness" to current JW's as much as possible?

    B. Do you just let them find out for themselves on the internet?

  • serenitynow!

    I'm really not in contact with any active JWs other than my mom and I've told her everything. If I come in contact with active JWs that want to know why I'm not going back I'll tell them.

  • yknot

    'C' what I can, when I can discreetly.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I tried 'C' with my studying neighbor who has family in. It backfired and he came to my door with a WT in his pocket trying to persuade me to take another look.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep


    No. My main targets don't have internet. I am encouraging them to get it, but the WT has done such a good job of demonising it that it is an up hill battle, even though most, if not all, of their family is internet savvy.

  • nelly136

    no, i dont have the inclination to bother . theyre not my problem.

    from what i've seen of dubs on the internet lately, they like to swing both ways, have their cake and eat it, they stay in the jws for various reasons family, social circle, power status amongst the ranks, while managing to live with a foot in both worlds.its not so much a belief system as a hobby.

    the change has been gradual but its getting harder to define jws v 'worldly' cos apart from the minority die hards the lines are all blurred. the borg is losing its power and control thanks to the new age hobby jws. the rotting is on the inside out.

    so no, the hobby jws are doing a great job all by themselves as far as the internet goes.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    those that come to my door i dont really engage...

    i'm only interested in freeing my kids... while i dont 'witness' to them i am not waiting for them to find out on their own either.


  • TheSilence

    I expect witnesses to respect my right to believe what I believe. I, therefore, offer them the same respect. Now, if they come preaching to me trying to convert me I tell them I'm not interested. If they push beyond that I'm pretty much of the opinion that they've opened the door to hear what I have to say themselves.

    Where my family is concerned I don't push with my Dad because I think he needs this in his life. I think he would be lost without it. He's a smart guy, really, and if he wanted to see through it he would. He doesn't want to so he doesn't. His life, his choice, I accept it as I expect him to accept mine.

    With my sister and my nephew I don't push because of a conversation between my mom and a counselor when my sister was a teenager. My dad had threatened to commit suicide because he was disfellowshipped and couldn't get reinstated. I put him in the hospital against his will. My parents were divorced and my sister was living with my dad. Since she was a minor I picked her up and brought her back to my mom's house. Well, the whole suicide threat was the final straw to my mom being convinced that this was a cult and she needed to get her daughter away from it immediately. She told my sister that as long as she was living there she would not be allowed to attend meetings, do field service, or any 'theocratic activities' whatsoever of any kind. My sister threatened my mom and said she would run away and hide with witness families if my mom didn't let her go to the kingdom hall. She said she would move from family to family so my mom couldn't find her. They were in the car as they had this fight and my mom will tell you that the only reason she didn't drive 1000 miles and take my sister to live far away where she would never see my dad or the witnesses again is because she had 3 other kids at home. So she decided instead to strike a bargain: she would allow my sister to go to the meetings as long as my sister agreed to see a counselor.

    So my sister agrees and my mom makes the appointment. Before my sister's session the counselor asked to speak with my mom privately and my mom told this counselor how the witnesses were a cult and she needed to get her out of it and on and on. Arguably my mom was pretty distraught at the time and probably did not present her case in the best light. The counselor told my mom she would be happy to talk to my sister but said that she had never heard such a thing about the witnesses before and that my mom was completely over-reacting. Then she talked to my sister without my mom present. Afterwards the counselor spoke with my mom privately again and told her that just speaking with her for 45 minutes she could tell that, yes, it was a cult and my sister was deeply immersed in it. She knew that as soon as my dad got out of the hospital that she wouldn't be allowed to see my sister any longer so she wanted to give my mom some advice. The counselor told my mom that she could not get my sister out. My sister had to want it on her own and at this point she was not ready to let it go. The counselor said that anything my mom did to try to dissuade my sister from the witnesses would alienate her and drive her further in. Her best advice was to be non-confrontational and to do the best job possible to stay a part of my sister's life so that if my sister ever *did* decide she wanted out she would have a lifeline to grab onto.

    And so that is my guiding factor. I used to do it so that if my sister ever wanted out I would be there. I now do it because I need to be a part of my nephew's life. I can't change the way he is being raised, but I can make sure I'm a part of his life and that he loves me so that if he ever decides he wants out he has someone to turn to. If I push I know my sister will balk which would mean less contact with her and my nephew. That is not an acceptable option, I need to be a part of his life in case he ever wants out. If that means I swallow blood every now and again from biting my tongue then it's a price I'm willing to pay.

    I will say, though, that there are some subtle things I do... my nephew loves dinosaurs and nature. Under the guise of being a good aunt I have bought him every fact book about dinosaurs that I can lay hands on. My sister and brother in law think it's awesome that I spoil him and treat him no differently than my other nieces and nephews despite our differences in beliefs. My nephew thinks I'm an awesome aunt and loves me for it. And I know that I have given him something that might, one day, make him think while being a good aunt, spoiling him, and giving him something he truly wants. So, you know, there is that, anyway. ;)



    'B' the only ones I have contact with are too old, set in their ways and hard core for me even to go there.

    'D' there are some I could try and contact (not that they want me to) but would be putting a lot at risk in doing so. Also there are a few that are such nasty individuals that just by being in the borg they're likely to "stumble" others.



    Sorry - off topic...

    Jackie - just read your post and it struck a chord. I was born-in and my worldly relatives spoiled me. Clearly they couldn't give me birthday or xmas presents but at other times of the year they were hugely generous and were always very positive and fun. I didn't see them much but felt they were on my side, were there for me and people who I could talk to. When I left I had a long chat with them - really helped me.

    You never know what will happen with your nephew - great tactic.


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