Empty & 5th - I understand exactly what you guys are going through and I'm right there with you. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't. Just knowing that others are going through similar circumstances can be of some comfort.
When the choice is staying around a religion that exerts such high control (or anything for that matter that exerts that type of control) or losing the most important things in your life (wife and kids) there really is no good choice. I hate that the WTS forces that type of choice on a daily basis. I just heard of another family being destroyed because the wife doesn't want to be a JW any longer but the husband does. It can sap your will to live on some days.
I wish things would reform but I know deep down that that will never happen. The future from where I sit is pretty dark.
I guess all that we can do is take it one day at a time and hope that we'll be able to wake up those that mean so much to us.