by EmptyInside 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    I have to agree that fading is very unhealthy. Once we snapped out of our JW coma, we set a date, walked out the door and never went back. While I do think everyone is different and leaving cold turkey may not be easy, I think it's the healthiest route over all. LWT, Moshe, Sherah, and Flipper are right, you'll feel better sooner if you just quit.

    WAC I'm gonna read that book. Looking it up on Amazon now.

  • 5thGeneration


    I wasn't saying it is necessarily the healthiest way but a lot of people have deeper emotional issues that come into play that make it hard to just tell everyone they've ever known to 'screw off, I'm outta here'.

  • EmptyInside

    Thank you all. I'll look up the suggested read. It is all getting to be wearisome. But, I'm thankful for the board to sound off on, and most understand and have been there, done that sort of thing.

  • yknot

    The gluttony of koolaid makes most of us ill......

    I am dreading, dreading, dreading next season....

    I have no reason other than just being sick of all the nonsense...

    Seeing little variation from the previous Jaracz script.....wishing somebody up there in NY would do 'something' different and less culty.

    Let love of the Brothers/Sisters be the motivation instead of loyalty and donations....

    (end mini-rant).... I hear ya Empty, you are not alone in your feelings ((hugs))

  • 5thGeneration

    No hugs for me Yknot?

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    5thG - I totally understand what you're saying. I think Moshe is trying to pinpoint the source of the dis-ease as it pertains to fading. I don't think he means lying in the form of evil intent. Rather lying in the sense that you're not being true to yourself once you continue doing something that you no longer agree with.

    Believe me I know what faders go through. My family is still in and they know the truth about the truth. They have a different emotional makeup than I do and I see the struggle they are having trying to reconcile what they know to be true with their actions. I know it's hard. I also know that sometimes a good stiff push (or pushes) in the right direction can make all the difference in getting on the road to peace as soon as possible.

    Ultimately, it's the cult that is the enemy. It makes us struggle with choosing our family and friends over ourselves. When we exited, I did not know what the response would be. Turns out our siblings and parents accepted our decision and loved us unconditionally. But I was scared to death that they wouldn't. Our so called friends dropped us like hot potatoes. So I know what the fear of losing everyone feels like.

  • AudeSapere

    I don't recall your specific situation, just that you've been 'empty' and struggling for a while now.

    To help fill in the emptiness, maybe sign up to take a class or two? Get more active at the gym. Tell your JW friends that you are depressed (not too far off the mark, is it??) and yet more rest. Maybe get a second job to keep you too busy for meetings right now.??

    Having a social life outside of the JWs will help you when you are ready to make the transition 'out'.

    Taking classes will help your self-esteem, your career and your social system.

    I feel your pain. Hopefully you can find a way to make your transition less of a struggle.


  • yknot


  • 5thGeneration

    Thanks CC.

    That was my point though.

    We're not lying to ourselves, we know how we feel, we are just trying to juggle and preserve some things we hold dear.

    It's not cowardice like moshe suggests.

    It may even be a painful, futile attempt to be noble.

  • moshe
    Give it a rest already.

    5thG ,

    You don't sound very wishy washy here- you seem to have definite opinions, vocal ones, too. I wonder, if you are really trying avoid giving the finger to your family and friends or just trying to avoid paying the piper? True for those born-in, they had no choice in the matter of becoming JWs, but where do you see yourself 20 years from now? If your extended JW family is that big, then there is no way you will get them out of the KH. The only option is for you to continue the status quo and hope that no JW discovers your hidden apostate leanings. If that sound like a better way to live for the next 20-30 years, then have at it. You would do well to just forget about this place and slide back into your seat at the KH- you will have less anxiety to deal with- especially the constant fear of getting df'd for apostasy.

    I never told anyone on this particular topic to, Not Fade, I merely pointed out the possible health consequences of fading for some people.

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