Legitimate question maybe a lesbian could answer for me?

by WuzLovesDubs 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Simon

    If you reverse it you can see the flaw in the reasoning ... if you like women does that mean you want to dress and look like them? No ... so not being attracted to a 'look' doesn't mean you shouldn't want to look that way yourself. You want the people who find that look attractive to be attracted to you i.e. if you like women, you don't want to look like a women but you want to have a look that would be attractive to women.

    I'm hoping there was some logic in there somewhere

  • Joliette

    Joliette here:

    I think that a lot of women desire to be manly like, however they dont want to be WITH a man. Me, myself, am a femme lesbian, which means I still dress and act more 'womanly' but I like women. Now, I do have a certain type when it comes to women. There are a lot of gay women that dont like being 'touched' on, aka: stone butches, studs, maybe even some soft studs, but there are femmes that dont like being touched in certain ways also. Everybody has there thing, rather they are gay, straight, etc. Now I've never had a desire to dress like a guy, but every woman, rather she is gay or even straight, has there reasons for perfering men's clothing to women's clothing, I think its something in them.

  • JWoods
    I'm hoping there was some logic in there somewhere

    There was - it was what I was trying to post above. People dress to attract or not attract who they wish.

  • Leolaia

    BTW, I have a cousin who is gay and she told me that she wears men's jeans not because she dislikes women's jeans but simply that they fit her better; the way they are cut makes a better fit with her form.

  • cameo-d

    I don't think that the "types" mentioned are actually dressing that way to be attractive. It is more of a statement they are making. If anything, they probably want to be loved for who they are and not what they look like.

    I think that the one girl who is rescuing and hoarding animals has a very telling behavior in that she is very compassionate with fragile, defenseless, innocent creatures. She is identifying with these creatures. There is some deep psychological meaning in what she is doing. She is projecting a persona of becoming the "strong savior"--- able to defend others because there was probably a time when no one came to defend her and she could not defend herself.

    She is hoarding them because she sees herself as their protector and wants to keep them safe.

    I think the cross dressing is more of a psychological issue than a fashion statement.

  • brizzzy

    You also have to keep in mind that many identify as "genderqueer" or "transgendered" rather than just "lesbian" and feel that they are a man in a woman's body, or vice versa. So they may feel more comfortable dressing and acting in a way that you or I may perceive as stereotypically "male" or "butch". They express themselves by dressing and acting like who they are. It's not an affectation. It's just how they feel most comfortable and attractive and sexy.

  • WuzLovesDubs

    Wow...a lot to think about you guys. My lesbian friends are both beautiful feminine ladies so I thought I ought to throw this out to the universe since thats not who they are in particular. I have a 1st cousin that I met only in the last couple of years who was a very masculine actor on TV and on the Shakesperean stage who recently (in his 50s) decided to pursue who he "really" is and is becoming a woman. He is married to someone he has loved for many years and I cant imagine how confusing their lives must be now. But he is a man who is becoming a woman who still loves women so he is becoming a lesbian woman? I cant even wrap my head around that.

    I believe too that the masculine "dont MESS with me" look is for protection of some sort. It's almost a challenge they seem to put out there. I had a very butch PE instructor in high school who had stronger legs than the football team. Short short grey hair, not a lick of makeup, virtually never saw her wear anything even remotely feminine but the woman loved toy poodles and the color pink. I knew it was all just bluster :) Nobody messed with Miss B!

    I was watching a celebrity weight loss countdown garbage program the other night (being jobless I watch crap I never would have before) and one high end women's clothing designer had lost a ton of weight and the way he showed off his new bod was to put on a pair of WOMENs skin tight hip high blue jeans and go down the runway in those.

    Each to their own my loves...each to their own. Whatever makes you feel FAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!

  • WuzLovesDubs

    AK I suppose I could go ask somewhere else but I already know you guys will give me your straight shot opinions and I "know" my peeps here.

    As for my "curiousity" factor... Im a tall lady. 5'-10" and over 200 pounds (now but not prekids) and have often been hit on by gay women. I have always wondered what it is that Im putting out there that makes that happen. I love men. Been married three times, have three kids and never was inclined to be "curious" even and I can usually tell when a man is gay but with women unless its REALLY obvious and meant to be obvious, Im left guessing.

    Ive heard people like Ellen Degeneres say they saw someone they are now with "across the room" and it was instant love. How in the world would somebody know that other person was gay too? LOL

  • FlyingHighNow

    What makes a four year old tomboy want to dress more like a boy? Maybe no thought goes into the decison to choose a look that one feels comfortable with. I think if I was going to go for girls, personality would be most important, just like with men. I kind of think if I'm going to have a date that looks like a man, I want him to be a man. I mean, to choose to date a woman, I would think I'd want her to look and act like one. But I'm sure personality would be the attracting factor.

  • Jankyn

    Then there's always this: Men's clothes allow free movement. They can be purchased in a size that's reasonably close to what our bodies really are, are usually from non-chafing or clinging fabrics, and can be worn in a variety of settings instead of having a different "outfit" for every event.

    In short, men's clothing is more sensible.

    I generally wear women's clothing (mostly because I am well-endowed, so men's shirts don't fit), but my wife prefers men's clothing. It's not so much that she can't stand "girly" styles, but she's outdoors a lot (research scientist) and men's clothes are made better, cheaper to replace, and more comfortable and versatile for what she's doing.

    As for the haircuts: This too is an issue of convenience! If you like (or are willing) to spend 40 minutes every morning making your hair look perfect, more power to you! But the real advantage for short and simple (i.e., "mannish") cuts is that you wash the hair in the shower, dry it, maybe run a comb through it or a little gel/mousse/wax, and go.

    When two women are sharing a bathroom, it helps to cut down on time spent primping.

    Oh, and have you ever considered that most of women's primping is done to please/attract men? And if you're not interested in either pleasing or attracting men, you can save a whole lot of time and money for other things.

    Basically, don't think "man-like." Think: sensible, comfortable and convenient!

Share this