by jamiebowers 25 Replies latest jw friends
full disclosure: My first child was very strong-willed and very difficult and I had a terrible time with him because I didn't know how to deal with him. I actually remember just colapsing in tears of frustration at the end of a long day many times... It wasn't until he went to (a very good) preschool that I got some lessons from the experts there that things got better....
And he does have ADD. (no 'H')
having raised (raising) 6 kids, I will say that it sounds like a very willful child that possibly doesn't sleep well, and is prone to tantrums (duh, I know)
They won't diagnose adhd till school age, unless it's just totally off the wall bad, with no good moments.
I'd venture to say she has no limits at home with mom, or at daycare, and doesn't do well with them and is frustrated.
StAnn, thankfully I'm not a caregiver, but mostly an observer. I've talked to my stepson, and he claims that he's tried the blanket time out. He also said that he's going back to having visitation every other weekend instead of every other full week. But the next time she's here, I'm going to have him keep her on the first floor where I am instead of downstairs here their rooms are.
Zid, no, I think she's too socialable for autism. She maintains eye contact and makes attempts at conversation. She's just too young to speak in full sentences.
LisaBobeesa, she's never in daycare, which I think is too bad. When she's with either her mom or dad, there's always someone among family or friends to watch her. I think daycare would do her a world of good, because the staff wouldn't put up with the tantrums and would hopefully be professional enough to know how to handle her.
Heartbreaker, I think you're right about her not having limits at her mom's house. Don't get me wrong, they're very nice people. But as I stated before, everyone in the household works a different shift. And I suspect they do anything possible to keep her from screeching, because there's always someone sleeping there.
My oldest was similar, reached milestones very early, talked early and everything else. Yet he was extremely hyperactive and 'odd'. Have you noticed anything else she does? My son was diagnosed at age 3 as high functioning autism. To everyone else, he looks and acts normal. But then they hear him talk about things he's interested in, he can't hold a conversation, has fears and obsessions and lots of sensory problems. And he's SO loud! Yet he can't handle noise. Go figure! What you need to do is speak to a Dr or do a google search on ADHD and autism. They go hand in hand.
My son would line toys up. He wouldn't play with regular toys. He'd use household items and things. He could recite his alphabet and numbers before he was 1 ! He was soooo clever. I thought he was just a hyperactive little einstein..lol. But as he got older, I noticed more odd behaviour. He screamed all the time for no reason. He never slept, not even naps. And during the night I was up EVERY hour with him. This only started waning when he was about 4yrs old.
Just keep watch of her, and monitor things she does. Maybe keep a little diary. Does she have trouble with sensory issues? Sound, touch, sight etc? My son cannot stand being wet, having mess anywhere on him, fluff and taking his shoes off. He can't stand loud noise, though is very loud himself. He is obsessive with certain subjects of interest. He watches dvds over and over and has frequent meltdowns. Yet he's so happy and lovable. Everyone he meets loves him. His hyperactivity didn't wane until he was over 3yrs old.
Btw, my son is VERY social. He talks constantly, loves attention and being in peoples company. The difference being is that his behaviour isn't always socially appropriate. That is where every autistic child differs. Some prefer to be alone. Others prefer to be with people, but on their own. And some like being with people but only talking and doing things that interest them.
wantstoleave, I will watch her carefully now. I had no idea that autistic kids could be so social. It's hard to tell about the conversation part, because she's so young. She doesn't seem to have sensory problems...she's just extremely unhappy when she's not moving. And she doesn't mind being messy; actually for her, the messier the better!
Yeh, just keep an eye on her. When she gets to about 3 and you've still got concerns, then seek opinion from a Dr etc. But kids change so much in the first few years, so try not to worry yet . It's never too early to teach her appropriate behaviours etc though. Even at such a young age you can help her manage her emotions and hyperactivity. When my son was her age and off the wall hyperactive, I started teaching him coping techniques. Like breathing, counting to 10 etc. I taught him to recognise it physically, and to this day tell him that when he gets that way, it may hurt his heart - in a literal sense. For his hyperactivity, I started him on fish oil at 18mths and it made a huge difference. I get my son to close his eyes and imagine the waves of the sea and things calming too. Doesn't work all the time, but remember that you are her best advocate and you can help her along
My younger son is also autistic but more aspergers I'd suspect. He doesn't mind mess at all and can't find the road to his own mouth..lol! Each autistic child is different. With my oldest, he would talk talk talk but I couldn't actually understand him til he was 3. So while he had the ability to speak and formulate sounds and modulate his speech, he wasn't making sense. He also had weird names for things, but I knew what he meant. He also used alot of 'echolalia' which is where autistic kids repeat what you're saying. So you think 'oh yes, he is understanding me coz he's repeated it' but in actual fact, he was just echoing what I had said.
And while my son has perfect speech now, a speech pathologist assessed him and he's actually not comprehending alot. So he can talk fine but his comprehension is way out. For instance, if I show him a page full of drawings, he can't distinguish them all, or pick out the thing I ask him to. So there is so much to autism that I think we all take for granted as being natural to us. Try and harness her hyperactivity with lots of physical play. I did this for my son by enrolling him in daycare a couple of mornings a week. I knew even then he needed it and also the social outlet. It worked wonders. My son was a screamer, for what I would think was no reason, yet when he was old enough to tell me, he said that noises were too loud, or the sun too bright. Little things like that.
