What do you think about this kid?

by jamiebowers 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    My adult stepson, who lives with us, has his daughter every other week. She turned one in March. She's very bright, verbal and started walking at 9 months. However, she is into everything, and when stopped, she screeches and/or cries until she chokes and gags herself. With the exception of when she's sleeping, she does this at least once every hour. Thankfully, at night she usually sleeps four or five hours between these screeching tantrums. She used to alternate an hour of screeching with an hour of sleeping all night long, so things are slowly improving. She was playing outside today, and I could hear her screeching when I was in the house with the windows shut and the air conditioning on...she is that loud. Also we can't trust her around animals, because one time she'll pet them nicely and the next time she'll pull their hair or tails. Today she purposely kicked my cat, Buddy in the face with her big clunky baby shoes.

    I never raised children from infancy, however, I did a lot of babysitting as a teenager and was around my two younger sisters from the time they were born. I don't remember ever having run across a baby like this! Her dad was diagnosed with ADHD at 12, and it was bad enough to warrant the use of medication. My question is: Is it possible that a child this young could display symptoms of ADHD?

    If I was reading this post, my first reaction would be that it's the parents fault. I can't speak for the baby's mother, because I don't see them together. However my stepson and his current girlfriend seem to be decent parents. The girlfriend is calm and patient, although the baby has made it a habit of hitting her. My stepson has smacked her diapered bottom when she gets really out of hand, but he seems rather patient with her too.

    If it's possible for toddlers to have ADHD, what do you do about it? Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing?

  • blondie
    blondie

    I would suggest going to a pediatrician trained in helping children with this behavior. Are the parents as concerned as you are? Sometimes we think because we can have a child or were a child ourselves that we understand child behavior or training. An objective view might be helpful.

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    I can only say I think she wants to be heard! :D Loud and clear!

    Our daughter used to cry so hard as an infant she didn't register that the bottle was already in her mouth and we had to squirt milk in her mouth so that she would drink!

    Both of our kids used to scream when told no or having something taken away. Our nephew had to be taught to pet the kitty "soft". He liked to hit her.

    It just takes years of constant and swift discipline. You feel like giving up and wearing out, but you keep going. Eventually other people tell you they want their kids to hang around yours in hopes that your child will wear off on them! (Can you tell I'm feeling pretty good right now after all these years of my nerves being shot!!!????) I find it's like breaking a wild horse! It's tiring and exhausting but the pay off is going to be wonderful!

    It sounds like she has found herself and is just going to take time to learn her boundaries. Seeing she is learning the rules at two different households, it may take her quite awhile to figure out what is expected of her and where. If Mama lets her get away with it one week, Daddy has his work cut out for him the next week.

    I wouldn't jump to thinking she has a medical condition. If it really concerns everyone, talk to the DR. about what signs to watch for. Otherwise, she just sounds like she's one! Get ready for two (that really hits at 18 months) and if you think 2 is bad, take cover! The age of 3 is even worse! That's why God made kids cute! So we put up with them! :D

    Just enjoy her all you can! I am glad you are getting some sleep!

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Sounds like a strong need to explore--which, properly channeled, is a good thing because it also means a high potential to learn. However, given today's insistence on dumbing everyone down, it will not be tolerated because anyone like this who learns things in fully integrated pictures is going to be a threat to the Establishment.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    SHE IS ONE !!!

  • tec
    tec

    She's 17 months, right? And she sounds very smart and bright, as you say. So I think she's VERY frustrated that she can't yet do all the things she wants to do. I don't really think there is anything wrong with her. Smarter kids get frustrated far easier and far LOUDER :)

    I would hesitate to try and label her as ADHD, except as a last, last resort. But if concerned, then by all means, encourage your son to take her to the pediatrician. At most, I think he/she would just keep it in mind until she was older.

    Tammy

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Thanks for everyone's comments. While my stepson isn't overly concerned, he does think she's different from most babies her age. He said he'd talk to her pediatrician once she's older if the tantrums continue. I researched ADHD and babies a little bit online, and there are some doctors who actually prescribe traditional medications to babies for it. We both agreed that would be out of the question in her case.

  • Darth plaugeis
    Darth plaugeis

    My sister would SCREAM I mean SCREAM!!!!!!!! When my Mom went out and left her home. The second the car left she would scream and cry until my Mom would return. It could be 6 hrs of NON......STOP......SCREAMING.

    Sometimes she would Scream and Cry so long she would Fall Asleep and SOB!!!!

    I was 15 she was 1-2. When my Mom would come home she would be concerned that I was doing something wrong to her because Why Why would she cry that long. One day we left her with a Babysitter for a couple hrs and when we returned there she was SCReAMING and CRYING Hysterically.

    She snapped out of one day and NEVER has been a problem since. Well until she turned 27 that is LOL.

  • flipper
    flipper

    JAMIEBOWERS- Although having raised 3 children myself from infancy ( all 3 are different) my youngest daughter was the loudest, most aggressive in nature which required different behavioral discipline than my 2 oldest. Every child is unique. What will work on one, won't work on others. My youngest aggressive daughter ( yes the one who dissed her brother recently ) did NOT respond to spankings on the butt - physical discipline. For her- she hated being told to take a time out on her bed for 15 to 20 minutes in order to get her to be more kind socially to others. It really seemed to work on her as a child. ( maybe I need to give her a timeout as an adult ! ) LOL !

    But Jamie- My wife mentioned this point- and I agree it's important to watch- it is well known that many adults who become chronic criminal violent abusers mistreated animals as children and were cruel to animals. As a grandparent I would NOT allow that to continue. It's a form of control and domination in a cruel way towards a less strong creature. It creates narcissistic, cruel, controlling tendencies which could continue into adulthoood.

    Also - I would get your stepson to FIND OUT just what his ex-wife allows the child to get away with when she is with her mom visiting. Like Kitten Whiskers said- and I agree- perhaps your stepson is trying to undo the lax or no discipline his ex is allowing towards his daughter when she's away. So it falls on his lap when his daughter visits. He needs to find out . It can be frustrating to kids when bOTH parents are NOT on the same page in what to expect in behavior. It causes the kid frustration AND anger. So she may be acting out on that frustration. Just a thought.

    But if such tactics fail I agree with others and Blondie that it may be good to get the child to a pediatrician to get a professional opinion. Good luck with tihs ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    my oldest used to beat her forehead on the ground and wasnt too fussy if it was soft or concrete, (sceered the beejeebus outa me) and the bruises were none to pretty, at first i worried and would rush over, then i wondered who was controlling who so i tried the opposite and totally ignored it (took a bit of teeth gritting)

    no reaction no attention to the head beating and away it went.

    so my rusty advice would be to ignore the bad, walk away from the screaming performance mode , screaming is to elicit a response, no response and theres no point , to a kid seeking attention, any attention is good (even bad attention).

    tiddlers have little concept of time but if youre consistant in giving them a short countdown to end of play it gives them time to adjust to the idea.

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