Emotional pain

by gutted 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    You didn't ask them to bring you up in a high control cult.

    That was their choice, and they have to grow a pair and deal with the consequences and not try to pass the blame for their bad behaviour onto you.

  • designs

    Keep a Diary and write essays and even poems about this part of your journey.

  • Lozhasleft

    Sorry you're hurting Gutted...its what the WTBS do ...they cause hurt and suffering...glad you're here. Tell yr mum it hurts.

    Loz x

  • Out at Last!
    Out at Last!

    It does get better, and there are many on this board that will help, assist, and comfort you all the way through this process. Continue to share your feelings, doubts, insecurities here and you will see that most have gone through the very same things. We all made it through, you can too. All the best to you.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    IT IS TOUGH! Of that, there is no doubt.

    Some have gone back. I don't recommend that. It's not really a choice once we find out the 'truth about the Truth' anyway. To go back is to play games that will tire quickly. Once we see the man behind the curtain, we can never again look to the wizard believingly, can we?

    Hang in there. Lean on those here who understand.

    Peace to you in your journey.


  • gutted

    Jamie & blacksheep, I agree I know I can't live for my mom, I have to do what's best for me.

    designs - I like the idea of keeping a diary, I'll have to start one.

    Thanks loz, out at last.

    Jeff I'm more determined not to ever go back now, and I keep looking up and reading information to solidfy that this indeed is not the truth, but a high control cult I need to get out of. It doesn't help that a friend is inviting me out for service and to watch the new DVD. I almost thought of reverse-shunning him, but I have been corgial and friendly and said I am busy, which I am.

    It's funny though, I take myself off the school miss a few meetings and now not one but two elders have wanted to get together on seperate occasions. Thankfully with the things I'm learning I am less and less afraid of them, I actually don't care if I meet with them or not.

  • VoidEater

    Sounds like you're on the path to recovery...cheers!

  • Soldier77

    GUTTED! I'm here for ya bro! The feelings you're going through are valid and I think it is a normal process of it coming up. I too feel the guilt surface every once in a while (especially with the folks down for a few weeks). But it goes away quickly when I think of all of the things I've learned in the last 6 months or so.

    I'm sorry you are having those nightmares. I haven't had many if any about going back, but I have had a lot of dreams where I was being shunned by my family again. Those are the sickening ones. I actually refuse to go into a KH, I literally will get sick if I do.

    Keep hanging in there and if anything, know that you will get support coming here on bad days to vent.

  • gutted

    Thanks soldier. It's crazy man, some days I just want to DA myself and get it over with even though I want to fade towards being inactive. The nightmares are pretty strange, and I feel for you on the dreams about shunning.

    Some days it's trying, lots of anxiety and stress then other days I have an appreciation for my new freedom.

    Here's to freedom man!

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