This may sound kinda stupid to some...

by babygirl30 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • babygirl30

    ...but I miss my kitties and I miss my lil niece! Once I decided NOT to 'return' to the org, and let my parents KNOW - they began to shun me. Broke my heart at first, but it is what it is. I've slowly gotten used to them not calling to see how I am, or not being able to just stop by (I pass their house on a regular basis doing errands). Saw my father taking a walk the other day, and BF wanted to pull over and say hi, and I got this WEIRD feeling like "I don't know that man" as I looked right at my dad. He didn't see me, but it's hard to if in my mind I know that he is my dad, but I don't FEEL like it - make sense????

    So it's now July, and this is officialy 2yrs since I was DF'd: 1yr since I was last in my parents home, 1yr since I last hugged/held my niece (whom I love dearly), and 1yr since I got to hug and pet my loveable kitties (that are at my parents home). I'm sorry if that soundbs completely immature and ridiculous, but I just have this desire to hug up with my kitties...I sincerely miss them. They always calmed me, and were 'family' in my eyes. As for my niece, I find myself wondering what she's doing, how well she talks now that she's 4yrs old, what she looks like, if she remembers me.

    Now the anger of my situation is setting in...being that I have changed and grown over the past 2yrs since being OUT of the JW religion, I know for a fact I'm more well-rounded, and I'm happy! But I can't have the 'small' comforts of my past life because a RELIGION says so!!!

    Thanks for letting me vent!

  • snowbird



  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    This just popped into my head so it might be a bad idea; take it for what it's worth. You might offer to take care of the kitties while your parents are at the District Convention. Just because they're programmed with light-switch love, doesn't mean you can't at least try to do something kind and positive for them (and ultimately for yourself, too).

  • aquagirl

    BG30,We all been there.So sorry.Really.It hurts a lot,especially when they tell you that it ws "your choice"to be df'd..Awful..Shame on the JW's. My parents still talked to me when I was df'd tho,albeit not as much as before.I think its up to their "personal conscience.

  • asilentone

    I like Mad Sweeney's suggestion.

  • babygirl30

    It hurts a lot,especially when they tell you that it ws "your choice"to be df'd..Awful..Shame on the JW's. My parents still talked to me when I was df'd tho,albeit not as much as before.I think its up to their "personal conscience.

    I know what you mean parents STILL make it seem like I sat there and ASKED to be DF'd!!! It wasn't MY choice and it wasn't MY doing - 3 uneducated, narcissistic, arrogant MEN chose my fate. My parents DID continue to associate with me, as long as I went to Khall and it looked like I was coming back. But when I stopped, and stood UP for myself, they cut me off. My mom, who is the die-hard JW, has cracked here and there and contacted me sparingly. My dad though, the JW that lives his life 'on the fence' (double-life) has taken the HARD CORE stance of fully shunning me, to the surprise of a lot of people - as they KNOw how my dad is...but I guess he has his reasons.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Or you could just sneak over there when they're not home and play with/pet the kitties.

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    It's really terrible what this organization is doing to people/families. when you discover the lies & deceit and your conscience won't let you continue to lie to others at the door by telling them this is the truth they hold your family hostage by saying you can't have their love & care unless you submit to us. I hate them for what they are doing and I'm so sorry for all the pain that they cause.

    be strong never give in to them

  • StAnn

    I know how you feel. Our family dog was causing problems and my folks had him put down. They didn't even tell me because I was DF'd. If I'd know he was a problem for my dad, I'd have taken him off their hands but they never gave me the chance.

    Also, I had a niece who adored me and whom I adored. Now when I see her (rarely) she looks away and she'll smile sheepishly but doesn't speak to me. Breaks my heart.

    At you know you're not alone, BabyGirl, and that we understand.

    Also, I was supposed to be the last child my parents had. I was Baby Girl at home! Five years later my brother was born and he was just Baby Boy, so we had both a Baby Girl and a Baby Boy. To think parents who adored us so could just shut down their hearts is very painful.


  • wasblind

    What i used to hate in the cong i attended was that whenever

    a parent would shun their own child for the child being disfellowshiped,

    that parent was held up to be a martyr, they would be constantly told

    their showing their child love by showing no natural affection for them

    crazy bastards!

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