Hi flipper This RosePetals hubby Mr.Bumble don't post very often with wify on here all the time LOL. I enjoyed your observation from your long experience. I can very much relate to your observation of position within the cong. as that seems to be the carrot and the stick. For those that are genuine individuals who work hard to achieve a position often notice this more than the rest.
As a person who has not enjoyed the best of health over the years I felt it a great achievement to attain to ms and felt it was a real opportunity to serve the brothers and make some kind of difference. I was never encouraged or felt pressured to become ms in fact the elders went out their way to block me. Despite ill health my wife and I gave the elders no where to go because of our service record but the nature of the way the org. is structured still made me have doubts reg. my motives was I attaining the pos. to serve or was it just simply to get respect and be socially acceptable in the cong. ?
As anyone who suffers from ill health even if they give 200% and then on another oc. give 50% are looked on as unreliable and a poor excuse for a pub. never mind the widows mite. However I felt I was doing it for God and family and got my head down and tried to champion those who were considered unworthy. That was the kiss of death for me ever becoming an elder. One of the things I have always found difficult and which contributed to my final exit was the ability of elders and ms. and their wives and children to judge their brothers and sisters without any conscience. To conform to this mentality many in positions of oversight can and have fallen into this trap.
At one point I was beginning to dislike myself because it was starting to rub off. I had to pull back and take a long good look at myself, yes I had plenty of faults but they were my faults I didn't like developing attitudes that were org. motivated.
One example was I was on the field service and I worked along with an elder who had just moved in but was not yet re-appointed. The first thing he asked me was what was my position in the cong.? The second question was did I know a certain family I said yes they are a lovely family he is a hard working brother supporting his wife and six children. I feel he has a real love for the brothers and a genuine love for God. His question was motivated by wanting a negative response from me and he didn't get it as he then made the comment 'well others have told me that they don't get to all the meetings they are irregular on field service. And he has a goaty 'sound familiar'?
This is by no means an extreme example but this shows that this attitude is learned not by studying the Bible or asking for Gods spirit but by listening to the mentality of the org. this is just the tip of the ice berg there were far more serious attitudes and issues involved in my final exit which I will eventually post but I will say this the very last elders and ms meeting held at the assembly hall finally hit home that the unloving attitude and bullying tactics of many 'not all' of those in postions was coming from the centre of the org. it was time for me to start doing my homework. I have been baptised for nearly 30 yrs and I thought any problems could be repaired from within, about fifteen years ago I started to doubt that this was the case you are absolutely right the organistion is all about position, authority, and looking good, for many self serving rather than serving brothers.