What to Do? What to Do? What to Say?

by whathehadas 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • thraxer68

    Sorry, i totally missed the part about the BOE calling you. Them I might not call, the guy who has cancer though, I would definitely call him....

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    My suggestion is that you call the guy with cancer. If you don’t want to speak to him personally, call when he and his wife/family may not be there (meeting night for example) and just leave a simple message conveying best wishes for him.

    Otherwise, yes, stay away from the other elders. You are not under any obligation to talk to them, they have no power over you.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Calling during meeting night is a really good plan. They will know you called but you don't have to talk to him.

  • mentallyfree31

    I think I would send him a card in this case, as already mentioned. Being that you were close and he is (possibly?) dying with cancer.

    Just my opinion.


  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I would call the man that said he is ill . However if the conversation with him turns to personal questions about you ....beware and DO NOT GIVE ANY ANSWERS ......Keep bringing the conversation back to his illness and your concern for him .

  • nelly136

    **Hard not to feel guilty**

    thats because its emotional blackmail, how can you possibly feel anything but obliged to ring back someone with cancer?


  • jamiebowers

    Why not send a card and write, "So sorry to hear about your illness. I'm just dropping you a line to let you know that I'm thinking of you, so there's no need for me to inconvenience you with a phone call."

  • NiceDream

    I would give him a quick call just to express your sympathies for him, or send a note or card. You can keep the conversation quick if you want, and just tell him that you are sorry to hear the news and hope he's doing ok.

    You don't have to answer anything you don't feel comfortable with, and can end the conversation at anytime. If you don't feel like answering questions, just stay on topic and explain you were just calling to offer your sympathies and end the conversation there. I don't think they'd try and get you into trouble, and if they do, that's a really sick way for them to go about it. The CBOE probably just wanted you to know because the sick brother was fond of you.

    Take care,


  • wantstoleave

    Like the others said, perhaps call and leave a message. Do so when you know no one will be home, that way you don't have to get into conversation. Express your sympathies and concern, then leave it at that. I am on the fade too, yet still have deep respect for one elder in particular. He did do his very best to help me over the past couple of years so I know that when I do finally leave, it will hurt him deeply. So I kind of know how you feel in this, that you want to express your condolences to the man, but also don't want to be caught in a trap of questioning.

    Call when he's at the meeting or send a card :)

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