Getting my children out

by God_Delusion 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • God_Delusion

    My wife is still in and no matter what logic I show her, she still wants to continue with the cult. For me, she's a lost cause. I explained the 607 factor and her reaction to that was "well, that isn't important to me as I still believe, plus, there's no where else for me to go."

    We also have two beautiful daughters, 3 years of age and a 1 year old.

    I have decided to not let her take our children to the meetings any longer. I plan on using the following approach:

    "Darling, until you can prove to me why you have to take our children to the meeting, they won't be going with you. As a Jehovah's Witness, you are taught to convert people and explain to them why they must become a Jehovah's Witness. You are taught that it is God's Earthly organisation. Therefore, if you can show me evidence of this fact, not only will the children come along with you to the meetings, but I will also join you."

    I will let her rant and rave until the cows come home and then again ask why she is so upset? After all, if she belongs to God's only Earthly organisation, then surely it will be so easy to convince me of this?

    I will stand my ground. My children will never again be allowed to mingle with cultherders.

    Enough is enough!


  • Lozhasleft

    Good for you Carlos...will be the best decision you ever made IMHO.

    Loz x

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    I wish i had made that sort of stand years ago.

    at 13 and 16 its real hard to stop the train


    all the best with your challenge

  • God_Delusion

    Cheers for that guy's.

    I have come to realise that the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society (how can anyone not realise that they are serving a publishing company, especially with a name like that) has mastered its brainwashing and mind manipulation techniques over the years.

    I cannot allow my children to be inculcated into their scheme.

    I advise you all to review some of the videos on offer at Propagandatechniques.

    After watching these two videos, I soon realised just how dangerous it would be to allow my 3 year old and 1 year old daughters to accompany my wife (who I love very much) to the meetings:

    Click here if you can't see the above video

    Click here if you can't see the above video


    Carlos x

  • Albert Einstein
    Albert Einstein

    Hi GD,

    I have very similar story. My wife was raised in an ultra hard core JW family, we have 3 kids (8,1,1).

    It took 1,5 years of explaining to get to the point, that my wife has no problem missing meetings, she see the manipulation has no problem when I teach our son about cults and explain JW are a cult.

    What you need is a:

    1) good plan

    2) meet your wife with nice "wordly people" and help her to make friends out of JW cult

    3) patience, patience, patience....

    BTW - great turning point for my wife was reading a book ESCAPE by Carolyn Jessop - its a life story of a girl raised up as a fundamental mormon, how she managed to free herself from the cult with her kids.

    JW should have no problem to read it, since it is about "false religion", but when you read it, you see incredible similarities in manipulation of rank and file memebers as well as within the the family.... Strongly recomeneded for JW!!!


  • confliction

    From personal experience (I have been raised in this, currently trying to get out) I believe the best way to go about this tough situation is to, of course show no threat to your wife. I don't know if you know this, but there are women who are regularly praised and presented at our assemblies for circumventing husbands who threatend to withold their children from the "truth". Denying her the ability to take the kids to the meetings does nothing but convince her that Satan is out to ge her and is using you as his pawn.

    Even though your reasoning is logical, she is almost bound to look blindly right through it, and to her, what you are saying sounds similar to this: "A nuclear bomb is coming in 15 minutes and there is a safe bunker down the street but I'm not letting you take the kids there, I want them to die with me."

    So, yeah, this is what it sounds like when you say that to her, and depending on how "convicted" she is, she is likely to just find ways of getting around you.

    Moving on, I think the best way to do this is to spend as much time with your girls as possible- develop a loving accepting bond with them, and as they grow up ask them question to contradic what Mom is teaching. For example, perhaps when the 3 year old is old enough that she's learned bible stories and the like, you could ask her questions like "If God created all animals, why are some made to be bad, like poisonous snakes and frogs?". Promote creativity, and freedom. More importantly, teach them to ask "Why" about everything, no matter how silly the question or the answer. Let them make friends outside of the JW organization; in fact, promote it. If you have friends/family who are not JW's and they have kids yours get along with, let them play together and form a bond.

    As they get older, and more into JW teachings bring up more though provoking questions and research, proving the lies in the organization, such as exactly how 1914 is calculated, and why it is wrong, or how if the Governing Body is divinely guided, why they keep changing, sometimes in a backwards fashion, and making huge decisions that will affect their life without even praying. This way, they will hopefully by the time they're old enough to reason and ask questions, they'll realize it's all a fake. If they do plan on getting baptized as they get older, ask them if they're really doing it for Jehovah or because either everyone else is doing it or people keep telling them to. Let them know what will happen if they get baptized, such as how if they ask why too much they might get in trouble, and if they get disassociated they can't really hang with mom when they get older, or anyone else at the hall. Focus on disfellowshipping and disagreement. Show them that it will be hard to ask "why" because of fear.

    This all require much planning, research, tact, and work on your part, but if you love your daughters this is a way.

    I hope you best on your path in life, and your daughters.

  • Albert Einstein
    Albert Einstein

    My wife is still in and no matter what logic I show her, she still wants to continue with the cult.

    The stupid mistake I did, was the same: I was using logic to explain my wife she lives in a destructive cult instead of a spiritual paradise. I couldnt undersatnd why she does not get it, if I bring so many logical points.... What an idiot I was....

    Work more with emotions, help her first to admit, that:

    1) The life we have "in last days" is not that bad... (what other century would you like to live in?)

    2) Governing body makes serious mistakes, that afect lifes of rank and file JW, .... is this fair?

    3) Governing body makes serious mistakes, and never admits them (was this an attitude of early chiristians?)

    4) "Worldly people" are not that bad, actually if you get to know them, they are nice

    5) Every child should have a real freedom of choice when it comes to religion (as well as marriage, job....) Does anyone has a right to pre-plan that for kids? (How do you understand real freedom of choice?)


    Good luck man!


  • Albert Einstein
    Albert Einstein

    Confli: show no threat to your wife

    Great point! People around your wife will be telling her you might/want to break your family. (My wife did think I wanted to do it, when I started speaking "apostate stuff". Tell her you love her, you love the family, you do not want to break it, that you have confidence in the Bible (if this is the case).

    BTW, it will be probably easier for you to help your wife if you will keep reading the Bible and talk about spiritual things...., than if you would become an atheist all of sudden.


  • God_Delusion

    "BTW, it will be probably easier for you to help your wife if you will keep reading the Bible and talk about spiritual things...., than if you would become an atheist all of sudden."

    It's a bit too late for that.

  • wannabefree

    I wish you well. They are young enough it should be no problem for them, but I agree with confliction.

    To a strong JW parent, what you are suggesting is the same as death. I have heard parents and others lament that they would rather their family member die than leave the truth because at least then they would have a resurrection and they would see them in paradise. Of course, that is at the extreme end of the spectrum, but when a parent is convinced that ONLY JW's will make it through the very soon to be armageddon, anticipate a battle.

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