by StAnn 46 Replies latest jw friends
Awwww, Avi, you're sweet! I'm waiting to bring up the whole officiant thing because my son has his heart set on his dad officiating BUT his dad is an elder and my son is DF'd. Apparently, dad could get DF'd for officiating at his own son's wedding. This is something I'm going to have to let my son sort out with his dad.
StAnn
It sounds like a nice venue, and a reasonable price! And if you have a professional offering to handle the food at a reasonable price--go for it! They know the ins and outs of how to have that everything ready on time (so it's not late and not cold), how much to buy, etc. Good luck, and have fun planning it all!
So, how much is a reasonable price for the catering per person, not including beverages but including tablecloths, dishes, silverware, glassware? Catering a dinner meal. At what point should I say to forget the catering and that we'll just bring on the crockpots full of pinto beans and hamhocks?
StAnn
First of all your son wants to invite everyone he knows and their brothers. If he cut down the guest list to just close friends and family he would save a ton of money. 200 people at a wedding is just way to many people.
My friend got married last year on my birthday. She invited about 80 people to her wedding. Her total wedding cost for the reception was around 5500.00. That included a steak or chicken dinner with appetizers and an open bar. She saved money by having a groomsman DJ via a computer and itunes. They also had their own PA system. They had a friend marry them. It was the best wedding I have ever been to. It was small but everyone had a great time. The bride and groom had time to be really personal with the guests and to speak to everyone.
StAnn,
It's been too long since I've had to worry about that, so I'd rather not guess what today's prices would be for a catered dinner.
More recent experience has been with lunches at work. For catered deliveries, our wonderful local barbeque charges about $14/pound for the meat, 40 cents each for the rolls (buns), $9/quart for side dishes, not to mention sauce and beverages...it adds up fast! Probably $10 a head for a serve-yourself informal barbeque lunch, without alcohol. I guess what I'm saying is that anything less than restaurant menu prices is doing well.
Another thing is the expectation of the bride's family--what are their customs and expectations, so you can avoid something that might offend them. You'll have to sit down with her and her parents so they can explain, and she can translate for you.
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Ham hocks and beans sound pretty good to me, but for a wedding maybe you should go "whole hog" and do the pig roast instead (he said jestingly). For 200 people, you'll need a really big crock pot!
Part of the problem with the numbers is that it is a Korean wedding tradition to invite EVERYBODY in the family, no matter how distant. With my son, 3/4 of his family is JW so he actually won't be inviting that many relatives. Guess we'll have to sit down with the guest list and let her parents decide who actually HAS to be invited OR just how much of the Social Security checks they want to fork over!
I'd love to do a pig roast. I love, love, love roast pork. I used to frequent a BBQ joint in Wilson, NC, called Bill Ellis BBQ. The owner was a pig farmer and their motto was "from the squeal to the meal." Yummy!
StAnn
On a budget it's just unreasonable to expect to be able to invite "everybody".
If I had to do it over again, I'd go with a nice dinner for immediate family and the bridal party, followed by a reception for everyone else. The reception can be simple: cakes, sandwiches, veggie trays, fruit and cheese platters with coffee, tea and soft drinks.
The invitation would indicate the date, time and place for the wedding and the reception, and a separate card could direct guests to local restaurants or a website with local dining recommendations.
Call it a "meeting of the minds" or a "reality check", the happy couple needs to have realistic expectations about what their budget allows: fancy for a few, or lower key for many. A sit-down dinner for 200 with silver, linen, etc. is like an entire night's business for a small restaurant. The tab will reflect that even if it's only the cost of the groceries, with the caterer providing their labor gratis.
Andy and I put 6 hours of MP3's on CD's as data files. They rented a sound system and we used my Apex DVD player to play the CD's. All we had to do was change the CD's. We had arrival instrumentals, dinner music and various kinds of dance music and music for when the reception was winding down. I still have all the MP3's on my computer. We made sure the music appealed to a broad age range of guests. We could hear people all over the reception remarking how good the music was and how they hadn't heard this or that song for years. Other than the time involved in collecting the MP3's and the rented sound system, it cost Andy's sister and her groom nothing additional.
Ashley (my son) already has a sound system he's going to use and is planning on downloading the music to his iPod. I asked him if he was going to play Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" and he looked like he was going to be sick. FHN, what kind of music did you use? I'm pretty much strictly a classical music kinda gal so I'm not much help to my son with suggestions.
StAnn
