Memorial Service at Khall - would you go (even as a DF'd exJW)?

by babygirl30 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • nelly136

    yup it would be nice to accept the invitation from your friend, but one accepted invite can and probably will lead to more invitations.

    do you then have to accept the next invite, then the next?

    they'd probably be more hurt if they got their hopes up that they were 'saving' you.

  • sherah

    This is tough.

    Your ex who you PFA'd may be there

    Since you associated with this KH they will be in full shun mode

    Your friend has lost a parent and needs support

    he doesn't want me to feel 'awkward' about coming because HE would not act 'off' around me and he would acknowledge me IN FRONT of everyone.

    It sounds like he would understand if you decide not to go. If you go, under the circumstances, he could get away with speaking to you. But I doubt if any of the other 'friends' in attendance would speak to you because of history. Going with someone could buffer the shunning. Could you go with his sister? It sounds like she would be in the same situation you would be in.

  • JediMaster

    Well, when it was all about YOU being DF, hard time, depression, whatever you might've been going through, you friend was still there for you, regardless of what others thought, even if they didn't really know what was going on:

    had made it clear to me about 6 mos ago that he didn't care if i was DF'd or not - that he STILL would speak to me and check up on me.

    Now that it's all about him:

    his parents are both disabled, and his father recently died IN the house!

    I think you should do the same for him. If your friend has made it clear you mean so much to him he's willing to riks talking to you even though that could get the elders on his derrier, I think you can also risk facing some ugly memories and a few snobs.

    HE would not act 'off' around me and he would acknowledge me IN FRONT of everyone.
  • JediMaster

    Sorry, I got cut off from my last post, but I think that last quote tells you how much it would mean to him that you're there. He'd probably get more solace from you alone, than from the entrie congregation who'll be there just because they have to, not because they want to. I would definetely go, but you alone know every single detail to the whole story. I like shera's suggestion of going with his sister.

    Jedi Master

  • Kinjiro

    I went thru the exact same situation. I was there for my friend who actually never shunned me nor his deceased mother, who always thought of me as a son. Absolute silence as I entered the funeral home. Only one brother acknowledged my presence by the slightest of nods.

    I stood by my friend who embraced me and we both cried over the death of his mother.

    I thought it would be hard; it wasn't. The love I felt for my friend and his mother was bigger and stronger than whatever ill feelings the rest of the people may have had for me...

    I stood tall and proud and shameless as my tears flowed... mute testimony of what true love between friends is.

    The lesson taught by me being there all circumstances nontwithstanding touched more than one heart that day...

    May love be the reason for you to be there...

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    You should go. Your friend needs a real friend, not a plastic banana Dub brigade. As Kinjiro says, the love is stronger than anything else that can be thrown at you both.

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