I have a cousin who has been away from the meetings 5 years. She was baptized only a year before becoming "inactive" and moved to another state. Then after some time she moved back to the area all the family is from, but wouldn't say a word of ANYTHING having to do with the religion. She has had a boyfriend now for sometime and they became engaged early this year. So, she decided to move in with her mom (also a witnes) to save money for her wedding and her mom agreed she and her fiance "wordly") could stay and live with them if they slept on seperate floors of the house. They did, and this arrangement lasted just under a month before they got married.
Now, my mother ( witness in the worst way..) who lived nearby started all this crap about how she should be punished for marrying this guy since she's still a baptized witness and has been "hiding" her life and he is worldly. All the elders did was to tell my family to be careful and not attend the wedding if they don't want to loose their privilages, basically never took action with her. (Mind you, the elders NEVER took the time to encourage her or give a sheperding call all this time she was living in their territory.) They always just ignored her. She does not have records in that hall and has never. So all of a sudden she tells me the other day, she recieved a letter from two elders. No warning. Just telling her they were "intructed" (by who???) to meet with her for the reproach she has brought on the nam of Jehovah and his congregation (what exactly?? who knows). Very vague and yet a threat basically to scare her from being df'd. She's NOT scared at all and told them she doesn't even know them, and has no desire to go back to the kingdom hall. They won't let it go.
So we talked and after getting the details I looked up some information to protect her. See, all the family is playing the "you have to think of the family if you get df'd" card and she really does want to avoid a mess if possible. Like play their game, but get them off her back to please the whole mix of people involved. This is her desire and I want to help her if at all possible to protect her rights as a publisher, and get them off her back. I looked up some info on the wt library and get info to see if how they are handling the matter is wrong and can be dropped.
This is what I think can help, but I'd like if possible to get an opinion of anyone that was a previous elder or i experiancd in dancing around judicial commitees. :)
1. The only person making the accusation, was my mom. The elders never encouraged her to face my cousin and apply Matt.18:15-17. Now my mom lives out of state and I'm sure has no desire to contact her.
2.The sheperding call never took place. Arn't the elders supposed to admonish the brother to change at least a few times before turning it into a commitee??
3.No one outside my mom is willing to give details about my cousin's worldly life as a witness to a sin so is there even a reason to believe this will go anywhere??
4.My cousin is no part of this congregation and also never identifies herself as a witness, so how is she a "threat" to the congregation??
I want to know is there some concrete step she can take to dismiss this letter thing or at least prolong the process till they just get sick of her? She has after 5 years never had a problem and I know many inactive ones are able to disappear without too much trouble. Is there some specail tricks she can play along here to get them off her back? Sorry if this is long. I've been in a judicial comitte before an if I knew now what I knew then, I would have handled it soooo differently. The elders don't deserve anything and meeting with them is such a joke. Well any suggestions would be AWESOME! Thanks experianced players! lol