How did 1975 effect your family? here's mine...

by Aussie Oz 35 Replies latest watchtower scandals

• 

  Aussie Oz

  I Just spent a few days with my dad. I asked a few questions about the time when mum became a witness which i know is still, 38 years later, a painful thing for him to talk about. In the course of it, he also learned some stuff that he did not know about the pressures of the times.

  As i expected, mum and dad have different versions of this time, and it is pretty hard to find the real truth in it and in some ways it does not matter anymore.

  Mums version: She first was contacted in Echuca late 1960s and dad put a stop to it. Fast forward to 1971 and we are in Ballarat. Mum kept a JW book in the front window as a sign for witnesses that she was waiting for them. Some saw the book and kept returning till they found her. They were curious because there were no witnesses out the rural area we were. A bible study was started, dad objected, refused to sleep with her and then moved out. I was 10 in 1972 when that happened. I remember meeting witnesses from echuca around that time who were thrilled that mum had finally 'made it'. Mum remarried in 1976, we moved 400km away and i never saw or heard from dad until i was about 32.

  Dads version: He has no knowledge of any witness involvement in Echuca. He did not know they were on the scene until Ballarat 1971/2. He encouraged her to be involved with them as mum was a bit lost, and where we were living was out of town, she did not drive and buses were few. He felt these new friends would fill a space in her life. Although dad was long ago finished with religion he still held a belief in 'god'. As time went on, the witnesses entered his life more and more, most memorable to dad is the amount of door to door work she was now doing. He remembers spending many hours over a 9 month period debating doctrine, theology and chronology with groups of elders (believe me, he is like that!) Those nine months were banging his head on a brick wall he reckons. It reached a head when as he described it, she was told to "stop sleeping with him or she would not get her place among the 144000 or what ever it was called". At that time she had also quit her job and was spending all her time door to door. This was when he gave her the ultimation, choose him or them. And of course mum chose them. Dad also maintains that mum was married by 1976 because it was not acceptable that an attractive woman with children be single in the 'church' ... too much temptation from males to commit fornication.

  Now, i have till recently never beleived that witnesses 'broke up families' but have seen the methods used to do exactly that as well as to whom the WBTS apportions the blame. I am very curious to know if anybody has ever heard of the organization or individual elders, c/o's etc forbidding sex with the unbeleiving husband or wife. I can't recall ever seeing it in print, only the admonition to be in subjection and fullfill the marriage due etc etc. Perhaps it was a bluff tactic that backfired?

  This was of course just pre 1975, and i am not surprised at how it turned out for them. Mum would have been taken into this religion on a wave of 1975 hype. The subliminal pressure to quit jobs, sell houses etc to pioneer must have been very strong. Mum no doubt was well and truly hooked by the time my dad saw what was happening. After it was all over and 1975 passed, i am not surprised that that is the timing for mum to remarry in the following 1976. Armageddon had not come and so she needed to find 3 kids a Father.

  I told my dad some of the pressures and building up about 1975 and the witnesses saying armageddon would come in 75, his response was 'too bloody right they did!' His learning also helped him understand the pressure around his then wife and why she may well have gone full on like she did, and why she was willing to lose her husband and the father of her children.

  Their are other ways 1975 effected us kids. Not me nor my little sister so much but my older brother may well be able to tell how it effected his education... but thats for him to share if he wishes...

  oz
• 

  JimmyPage

  My parents have never specifically referred to 1975 (perhaps for good reason!) However they did get involved with JWs in the early 70s, so I am dying to know how much the 1975 expectations actually played a part in their joining the cult.
• 

  Broken Promises

  My Dad was an elder since the late 60s and yet to the day he died, he swore that the Society never said anything about 1975!! I don’t know if it was just denial of the true events or what.

  Ironically, I remember him talking about Beth Serim and the Org’s old thinking about Abraham et al coming back in the 1920s. But he explained it all by saying it was “old light” and how the “lighter gets lighter”.

  I was only 5 going on 6 in 1975 so I don’t remember a lot, plus we had my mum’s cancer to deal with so that probably was the dominant issue in my life.
• 

  blondie

  Broken Promises, perhaps he never read any WT publications and was sleeping during the talks at the KH/assemblies/conventions.

  It had to be denial. There is no way you could have been an adult jw between 1966 and 1975 and not have been inundated with written, verbal, and casual comments about 1975 and its implications.

  My family were suspicious of it since they already knew of the later disclaimer re the gap between Adam's and Eve's creation (Eve's was the end of the 6th creative day and Adam's was the beginning of human history, 6,000 years from which was 1975).

  Also the scriptures said that the end would come at a time you did not think it to be. I can remember my one aunt getting into a hot discussion with a CO on that. I can remember several COs telling our circuit that if you did not believe the end was coming in 1975 you were not a faithful jw.
• 

  Black Sheep

  Like most Dubbies who didn't get out after '75, my parents have selective memories of it and deny personal and WT stupidity. I have the paperwork and Sunutko's 'stay alive to '75' talk to demonstrate that my memories of their thinking and behaviour was supported by WT leadership.

  By the time I arrived in Echuca in the autumn of 1970, I had disappeared from home having only said goodbye to the dog. I had my first legal beer in a pub there. The drinking age was lower than in QLD, but I didn't find out until the day I was leaving the State. Bummer. I was really pissed off. I had been hiding behind the boss every time the cops came into the pub.

  Cheers

  Chris
• 

  Scarred for life

  It had to be denial. There is no way you could have been an adult jw between 1966 and 1975 and not have been inundated with written, verbal, and casual comments about 1975 and its implications

  I completely agree with Blondie on this. Except you certainly didn't have to be an adult to have been inundated with it. If you were older than 6 or 7 you heard this week after week, meeting after meeting, assembly after assembly, circuit overseer after circuit overseer. It caused nightmares, anxiety, loss of concentration, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, resentment and loss of relationships in families. It caused people to not seek higher education or even to finish high school. People quit jobs and spent all retirement money.

  I ignored the message. I would have rather died in Armageddon than lived in eternity with the JWs. I left in 1973. My younger sister almost failed high school. She saw no reason to study in high school. She became very anti-social. She never strayed far from my mother and a very few close friends. Those friends have all gone on with their lives now. My mother has passed away. But my sister hasn't changed much. She's still anti-social. She stays in her house most of the time except for going to work. She was always taught not to make friends with "worldly" people and she still lives that way. She has told me that she still occasionally has nightmares about September 1975. She was frozen in fear. She expected me, especially, to die because I had left the JWs. My sister has never gotten over it. She was 15 when 1975 came.

  I hate the JWs.
• 

  Gayle

  but my older brother may well be able to tell how it effected his education...

  There was definitely a trend of JW kids quitting school "to pioneer," then pre-'75 for a few years. My sister and brother were of them. They soon went to Bethel. Later my sister, after leaving Bethel, went on later to get her high school diploma as an adult. She realized for her future that would be required. My brother, left Bethel, and later established a very good plumbing business himself and hasn't needed a high school diploma.

  It is still bewildering to us of the ones we knew who are still in the organization.
• 

  cantleave

  My mum was sure that the end was coming in 1975. When it didn't come she was disappointed but started devising her theories the next date she came up with was 1984, then 2000 - god knows what she thinks now.

  She's in her 70's we are in our 40's - we were never going to see secondary school, get a job and definitely not get married and have kids in "this wicked system of things".
• 

  yknot

  I was 22 months on Oct 1, 1975........

  Obviously I don't remember much.....but my earliest memories start about 18 months.

  I remember a sense of urgency, fear and a lot of FS. ( Woe to the pregnant women and the ones suckling a baby in those days! )

  My mother too remarried a year later.

  My father also lists the JW thing as being the deal breaker in their marriage (divorced Jan 1975)--- mother insists other circumstances caused the breakup.

  I guess I should admit the WTS broke up my family too (revelation)

  Commonality of it all is scary.......
• 

  Bonnie_Clyde

  If you were older than 6 or 7 you heard this week after week, meeting after meeting, assembly after assembly, circuit overseer after circuit overseer.

  You're right about that. Our son remembers that when he was age 7 (1974) his 9-year old sister told him she wanted to get baptized before 1975 because the end was coming. Recently, he reminded her of that and she denied it. The 1975 issue is one of the reasons my daughter has cut Clyde and me off. I dared to mention it to her a few years ago, and she claims it never happened. She has been one of the victims of a malady that has spread throughout the organization called "collective amnesia."