I thought fading was going to be easy.

by EmptyInside 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • EmptyInside
  • EmptyInside
    EmptyInside

    Sorry, I submitted this thread before it was ready. Well, it's not so easy when the blinders are finally off. It is so hard to sit through a meeting without rolling my eyes. I've developed nervous twitches too and just feel sick to my stomach all the time. And trying to go out in service, I can't. And now a relative keeps saying, "I'm worried about you." And now with the generation overlap, which is insulting to anyone's intelligence, it's hard to go on. I don't want to cause any pain to my elderly mother. And I certainly don't want to meet with the elders. It's just really getting to me. Thanks for reading, I needed to vent.

  • crapola
    crapola

    It gets easier as time goes on. You don't have to meet wjth the elders if you don't want to. My mother is also still in, so I know how you feel not wanting to hurt her. But there comes a time when we have to think of ourselves a little bit. Just slow down a little each month or so and before you know it you'll be out.

  • gubberningbody
    gubberningbody

    A slow fade is like going into a cold pool an inch at a time.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Emptyinside,

    Only you can decide the course to take. You are the one with the circumstances. Don't beat yourself up because of what you have to do.

    If things get too unbearable, maybe miss a meeting or two because of "illness." Or maybe you need a vacation. A nice loooooong one.

  • serenitynow!
    serenitynow!

    I say just stop going cold turkey. Claim depression, dont take any hounding phone calls, or answer the door for anyone who was not invited. JWs dont know how to handle depressed people, they'll forget about you soon enough.

  • gutted
    gutted

    I think I know how you are feeling, a little bit anyway. I've missed the last 3 meetings, granted I was sick but the last one I did more because I just didn't want to go.

    My mom said something like"you're breaking my heart, you're hurting Jehovah" because I voiced my concerns about the WTS... Kinda wish I didn't, but couldn't contain myself. I won't be telling anyone else. Today was a bad day just thinking about it all...

  • BackRoomBilly
    BackRoomBilly

    You just slip out the back, Jack
    Make a new plan, Stan
    You don't need to be coy, Roy
    Just get yourself free
    Hop on the bus, Gus
    You don't need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, Lee
    And get yourself free

  • blondie
    blondie

    I would recommend just stopping all meetings and "field service." That's what we did and I consider us faders because we were neither df'd or did we da ourselves. We have never felt a need to discuss the lies that are told unless someone sincerely approaches us with a question. But even then we are cautious and help them find their own answers. I have talked to several inactive jws that were "believers" to some extent. I just talked to them and at the right time leant them my Ray Franz books (use your discernment).

    This cut down on the questions. We also have our phone set up so we know who is calling and if not we let it ring through to voice mail. We don't discuss anything with elders that "drop by" or let them in the house.

    Blondie

  • EmptyInside
    EmptyInside

    I like the loooong vacation idea. I do need a vacation.

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