by man in black 18 Replies latest jw friends
You have my commiserations it’s never nice to find a dub fookwit at your door.
I'm lucky hubby Spawn scares the crap out of most of them so they tend to stay away except when they visit my mum which is rare and always unannounced.
My advice have a nice beverage of your choice and remember how happy you are now you’re not part of their stupid deluded world.
I'm interested to learn why you left . I know I accused them of being hypocrites to their face . Their love comes with hypocrisy and they really do play some sick mind f@#$ games.
This "loving arrangement" has supposedly been in place for a few years now. The body of elders will sometimes pick a few faders/DFd/DAd off the list leading up to the CO visit to show that they're keeping up with this "loving arrangement." There have got to be a couple dozen of these in each congregation's territory, so if they pick 3 or 4 people to visit each time the CO comes, your name will probably come up every two to three years, if that. If they can manage to be "busy" with other congregational matters, they can blow that off and if you're lucky you don't get visited but once every four or five years.
Then, if you're a normal busy person, you won't be home and you have another year or two reprieve.
So the real urgency to save people is clearly a steaming pile or crap. They can easily and "lovingly" take years and years to "help" you.
MAN in BLACK- Very interesting experience. It seems that this publisher might not have been aware that you had dissassociated a year and a half ago. Usually only the elders will call on someone who is DFed or Dissassociated to see if they want to come back to meetings. So is it possible that the elders never read your dissassociation letter to the congregation ?? Perhaps THAT is why this publisher called on you ? They didn't know ? I've heard of occurences of JW members writing a dissassociation letter- and the elders either bury it, ignore it, or forget about it - and never announce it at a meeting. From what you've said- kind of sounds what MIGHT have happened. I'm just shooting fish in a barrel guessing wildly here.
But congrats to you for having left a year and a half ago ! I wish you happiness. I hope the JW's will leave you alone. Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
I and my son have had one call on us in 9 yrs by Elders when they found out from my ex-husband where I lived. When they asked if I wanted more calls we both said NO.
It sounds like you both covered a variety of subjects in an hour.
If it happens again, invite them in and keep very tight control of the conversation.
Pick a subject, one subject, that gives you a question for them to answer. Ask it in such a way that they feel obligated to try and answer it. Make it a question that you couldn't answer as a JW and was one of the primary reasons, or the primary reason, why you left.
Make it one that you have the WT litteratrash for, to back up anything you say and to keep them honest. Try not to tell them anything, they don't listen anyway. Just ask the question...... and don't bother discussing scripture with them, they don't actually believe the Bible anyway.
If you can keep them on the subject despite all of the trickery that we were trained to use to divert attention away from anything that contradicted WT doctrine, you might just accomplish something. It might only be that they will be frightened to return, but even that is a win. They have to live with that fear.
Boy am I stressed out, dont these people understand that we left, ?????
No. They only ever understand what they want to understand. That's why I don't bother telling them anything except to remind them of what they are taught by the WT and are trying to weasel their way out of, or to draw parallels to their behaviour if they use trickery that the WT denigrates other churches/ministers for. Feign offence if they try those tricks on you
When I first escaped the mind control I thought about joining a large church and teaching the members how to get out from behind the curtains armed with a question and the psychological tools to shake up the Dubbies at their doors. If enough people knew how to deal with them they would be frightened to send their kids out preaching. After a while, I realised that it would never work as the only churches around here that would have the enthusiam for participating were using the same techniques to control their members..... they were doing very good impressions of being cults themselves. Now I'm an atheist.
Cheers
Chris
WOW, thank you for all the comments, I really appreciate every one of them !
Now that I've somewhat calmed down, I was thinking of a way to continue on the "loving provision" theme,
I realized that after we DA'ed ourselves, there were many rumours swirling around as to what happened, and what we were doing.
I was thinking how it would have been to write letters to several individuals in the hall explaining why we did leave,
(no,, we did not become heathenist pagans who drink blood and worship satan )
Mail them out in a random order, different dates and also explain to the person how much we appreciate their friendship over the years, and the societies current "provision" but there are some questions that we feel need to be answered and this letter is a "provision from my wife and I.
Make one or two small comments, but keep it upbeat so that they cannot look between the lines, make up their own story, and become locked in their minds that everyone who leaves the truth is miserable,(guess what, we are actually doing quite well in the spirituality department)
Hopefully it might clear up any questions,comments, or rumours that have been floating around.
And then, write to the headquarters in NY, and the elder body explaining that we wrote our DA letters for a reason,,,, because we no longer wanted to be associated with the Jw religion, and did not want, or expect to be called on each year to see if we are interested in returning.
In other words don't call us, we'll call you.
And while they consider their visits to be "loving" We found it to be very ignorant regarding our long time in coming, well thought out decision to leave the religion.
So would they lovingly return our publisher cards, and any information that they have regarding my wife and I to hopefully prevent these visits from occuring in the future ?
Is this reasonable, or could it just be a pipe dream of mine ?
I think you are being very reasonable, but sadly that's no guarantee that the WT will be as reasonable.
Have you read JWFacts thread on getting his records from Bethel?
This may be just a wild guess - but is it possible that this guy was sort of a rogue witness, kind of acting on his own?
The reason I ask is that I thought it was JW policy to always have 2 elders on this kind of call -
