Were you Stalked or Chased After Once you Exited the JW's by Elders ?

by flipper 175 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    I definitely was. I tried to fade off the map by moving 30 miles initially in 2004 after I exited in late 2003 . The first several years they didn't bother me. I ran into a elder from my former congregation in late 2005 in an antique store - he tried telling me I was wrong for stopping attending meetings. And interrogated me if I had a girfriend or not ( even though I had not attended meetings since 2003 ) and even though I was scripturally free to date or re-marry ! ( These guys are nosy bastards. )

    Then in fall of 2006 , one month before Mrs. Flipper and I were to be married - my JW ex-wife I had been divorced from since 1998 drove up 80 miles out of her way to see if I was living with Mrs. Flipper . She found me at her house at 10:00 A.M. in the morning so she assumed we lived together. Long story short, she called my JW parents at the time, my elder brother and blabbed that I was living with Mrs. Flipper one month before. Then my ex-wife called the elders from my former congregation 80 miles away making them call me and chase after me for a JC - even though I had not attended a single meeting in almost 3 years. So I fought the JC for 10 months - they had no evidence against me - I won a JC appeal meeting in 2007 - and they haven't bothered me since.

    But the point of the thread is - these elders and other witnesses who spy on one another are FREAKS ! They are trained to rat each other out at the drop of a dime. There is no trust between JW members - because they walk around paranoid wondering who is going to rat out who ?? So - What kind of experiences did YOu have or someone you know have regarding being chased down or spyed on or stalked by elders or others after exiting the JW's ?? As always- look forward to your responses. Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper

  • Heartbreaker

    We have a large yard, and the elders know we use our deck and yard space. They'd just pop by and walk around the property and catch us out...they did this THREE times. Recently I've gotten reports from my kids playing outside that the (what was called) PO has driven by, as well as a newly appointed elder. Both times they slow or stop in front of the house and take note of......something. It should be noted that we live at the end of a dead end road, 25 minutes driving time outside the territory.

  • restrangled

    Flipper this is certainly not the same as you have gone through as an adult, but I can tell you a story of stalking as a teenager.

    My best friend through out my life invited me over, while her parents went on a short trip. (All Jw's) Her older sister was in charge....she was probably 18 or 19. Everything was prearranged and OK'd by all parents.

    Everything was on the up and up supposedly, and it was.... until many late hours later. Suddenly it was THE party house.... but not until the wee late hours of the Night. A couple of guys "shot gunned' me, .....(blowing pot smoke into your mouth) yes, I wanted to try....but had never smoked it before. Hey it was the 70's and we were miserable JW teenagers.

    Low and behold there were several elders driving by taking notes, etc. My father was called, showed up at the front door and shouted me down in the early morning. I marched downstairs higher than a kite for the first time in my life. He made me drive the family station wagon home following him on a Sunday morning. Dangerous, and crazy...but that's what happened. Not two hours later I had to have my hind end in a seat at the KH.

    Well of course every elder had gotten wind of the party, and because I was an Elder's daughter, I was the only one there. In the back row barely able to keep my eyes open. The speaker, an elder aware of the situation, called on me from the platform to look up and read a scripture. Everyone else was asked to volunteer......but not me, oh no, I was to be made an example of during a talk on Sunday....not during a Watchtower study.

    I was half asleep and couldn't find it, finally someone handed me a bible pointing out the scripture. It makes me sick to this day, all of it. How I stayed awake for another hour I'll never know.

    I hated, hated being part of the JW's. They were nasty, tattling, Stalking sicko's.


  • peaches

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( to comfort you ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • Quentin

    Never dealt with a BOE, was on the way out while they were on the way in......however, stalking and spying on fellow jw has a long history within the confines of the wtbts...no matter what the kh sanctioned set up is, there is ALWAYS a snitch in every crowd...hell, I knew uber dubers that carried binoculrs. Twern't for bird watching either.

  • Quillsky

    I wasn't stalked, and I count myself lucky. The old congregation thought I was in the "new" congregation and the "new" congregation thought I was in the old congregation.

    I'm not sure how that works with my files though. I think the old congregation got tired of waiting for the "new" congregation to ask for them to be sent over.

    The files are usually such a lovely stalking tool, aren't they?

  • rockmehardplace

    in the beginning of my fade a few months back, i had one elder who would call me repeatedly and show up at my house. he leaves me alone now. the rest of the boe mostly leave me alone. every so often i will get a call or see them out and about.

    when i was first appointed an ms years ago though, that first weekend of field service after the announcement was made, i was asked to go on a "shepherding call". me and an elder hop into his car and drive for two hours and then stop at a restaurant. he tells me nothing on the way about the call other than we are trying to encourage someone. we walk in and he asks if so and so is working and when they say yes he asked to be sat in her section. waitress comes up, and she has a look of astounishment on her face. he starts quizzing her about stuff. stuff like her living arrangements, if she is dating someone. i just sit there with mouth open not believing what i am seeing.

    in all the shepherding calls i was on, i dreaded his. he did stuff like this all the time. catching people off guard and in the worst places.

  • designs

    I let it be known that I would sue them till they were living in a tent on the beach.

    Some tried to do an end run through old friends and family, silly, trix are for kids.

  • donny

    It was catching the PO watching my house with binoculars that finally prompted me to disassociate. When I confronted him on it during a subsequent meeting, he stated that "I was not watching your place to see what you were doing per se, I was looking to see if any borthers or sisters were coming there knowing you had copies of Ray Franz'z books." That did it for me and I was out of there within the next two weeks. I still remember the day I caught him, August 28, 1992.


  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    My family is being inquired about throughout the circuit. I have been informed that "friends" in a congregation 50 miles away have both been asked questions about me and been told things about me. I can feel the borg-love.

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Unbelievable! They are a bunch of sickos! And they are all obsesses with sex and the sex lives of everybody else!

  • LongHairGal

    Hi Flipper,

    Reading about these shocking cases of stalking is amazing because I was not aware it was that prevalent.

    After my 'fade' the end of 2000, I got many 'wish you were here' and 'miss you' cards - some from people who never bothered with me when I was active. So go figure!

    However, a couple of years before I did my 'fade' there was an elder in my hall who thought he would make me his pet project. He wanted to 'help' me. Whatever. I never knew when my phone was going to ring and I resented having to feel that way in my own home. Anyway, he ended up going elsewhere so that stopped. I now have a cell phone and only a few have my number and they have been ordered not to give it out or else I will never bother with them again. I do not want to hear the voice of ANY inquisitive busybodies on my phone!

    I have no tolerance for this and I swear I will block their number.

  • jamiebowers

    When I read threads like this I know the elders that df'd me must've really hated me. The whole reason I was told that I'd be df'd was because I offered to da instead of stalking my jw husband to see if he'd decide to commit adultery or murder. This guy was forcibly committed to a mental hospital for threatening to kill me, but I was the one who was supposed to chase him around! I wonder why the elders weren't gung ho to stalk him like the ones on this thread did.

  • crapola

    I have not been bothered by the elders at all and once in a while someone will stop by and leave mags in the door. I kinda thought that after the Memorial I'd be called on, it was the first I had ever missed, but so far nothing. Hope my luck holds out!

  • flipper

    Thanks for all the replies ! Good ones also ! Interesting.

    HEARTBREAKER- That is just plain eerie that these elders drive by your house while your kids play in the front yard ! Are these elders pervs and are they going to kidnap your kids or something ? Freaks. And it sounds like they have to drive a long way out of their way to go by your house ! If it keeps up- I'd threaten them with a restraining order or lawsuit.

    RESTRANGLED- Hey, I hear ya sis. I was a naughty boy as a JW teenager as well. LOL ! I tried taking my then JW girlfriend out into rural territory so we could make out in the car while out in service ; instead of doing return visits ! LOL ! But I understand how embarrassing that must have been for you having to read that scripture at the Kingdom hall while stoned. It's so ridiculous how the elders try to " discipline " us . My elder dad was always harassing me about wearing my hair a little too long. They always thought of something to bust us for, didn't they ?

    PEACHES- Hugs back !

    QUENTIN- Yeah, there always was a snitch trying to rat somebody out ! And what is it with these people using their binoculars anyway ??!! That's just downright weird. It makes it seem like they are all peeping Tom's !

    QUILLSKY- Good point you make. Yes, the congregation publisher record card IS a good stalking tool that elders will use to find out where we are as an inactive publisher. The elders from the new congregation have to ask the secretary from the old congregation to send your card so they can keep track of you. But we can avoid that by NOT showing up at meetings so they never know WHERE we are ! LOL ! That's what I did. When I stopped going to meetings at my old congregation back in 2003 - I just stopped attending cold turkey. So I fell off the radar and they didn't know WHERE to find me- at least not until my crazy-a$$ Ex-wife told them ! Then once I stood up to them and stood my ground - they didn't want to mess with me anymore- I think I wore the elders out.

    ROCKMEHARDPLACE- Wow, that elder you knew was thoroughly disgusting indeed. He really used covert methods to apply pressure to get information from that witness waitress. That's just sick. I bet you felt like throwing up watching him be abusive like that to her ! I knew so many elders just like the one you mentioned - who gave their personal opinions on EVERYTHING from sex to employment to entertainment. Drove me nuts. Just wanted to tell them to shut up.

    DESIGNS- You handled it right for sure. I too threatened to sue them if they bothered me again with false charges. Even sent them something in writing. They need to live on the beach. Better yet- why not put ALL the elders together in some remote cave and cover the entry over with a rockslide ? I like that idea.

    DONNY- Wow. That elder was just plain weird. Another guy using binoculars ? What IS IT with these guys ? I'm glad you got out of the witnesses. When they try to control even what we were reading - I mean- let's face it, it's the end of our freedom.

    MAD SWEENEY- I know how you feel . I live about 70 to 80 miles away and I'm sure my ears would be burning if I heard all the gossip that's been spread about me these last 6 years. My ex-wife has made sure to inform people I'm from the Devil.

    SCARRED FOR LIFE- It is incredible how many elders and JW's are obsessed with a inactive members sex life ! I mean - In the 6 + years I have been away from the meetings - at times I felt like the National Enquirer was chasing after me to see what new relationship or girlfriend I had gotten with ! It was ridiculous !

    LONG HAIR GAL- So this elder wanted to " help " you ? Are you sure he didn't have a crush on you or something ? LOL ! Many times elders will mask their wanting to "help " by wanting to cozy up to some single sister because of being a horn dog. That's good you blocked your number from any unwanted calls. Many elders I knew were way too intrusive into ALL of our personal lives. Good you protected yourself my friend.

    JAMIEBOWERS- It is incredible that those elders cut your abusive ex-husband so much slack and were hard on you. Just ridiculous. Here they had a guy with a murderous attitude yet showed him more empathy than they did you. Just insane.

    CRAPOLA- I hope your luck holds out also. I'm sure you are glad the elders haven't bothered you. Count your lucky stars. Once the elders get you on their radar- they can make our lives a living hell. I know, been there walked that path. Keep your fingers crossed. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • daringhart13

    My god.......when I read these posts I feel my blood pressure rising.

    No one has come after me, because they know better. Someone would be eating my elbow....and then I'd sue their ass. ...... and they all know I'd do it.

    I went to a memorial for a dear sister that just died. One of the elders I've served with for years was on his way to me.....he got within 5 feet and I looked at him with eyes that could kill and lipped 'don't even think about it'.......he stopped.....and busted a move in the other direction.

    I don't know why people put up with this stuff. Have them arrested for stalking if they are outside your home or around your kids. I was a very well known elder in my area...........I realize that is now to my benefit. They all know I'm not kidding.......... I'll kick their ass if they come around me or my family.

  • Scott77

    I was stalked starting 2006 by JW dubs, people I did not know but who I easily recognised by way they dressed up, leadership/headship arrangments. It was mainly through car groups. Stalking me as I drive to work, parking their car at my work place sometimes at all days and other times all night. Stalking continued during evening days as I went to shopping at stores like IKEA, walmart groceries, malls, even Donkin Donuts. I learnt alot of misdeeds, secret spying work, organisation arrangements over the years and about JW religion in general than I could have done had I been still within the borg.

    So I got used to this kind of stuff by toleranting it for my own learning purposes because I was fully aware of what was going on but they did not realise this, something that gave me an upper hand. So when it become out of hand following one accident at night in which a car followed in a threatening way that i notified the society in NY.

    They did not stop but the society of course denied knowledge that. I am not surprised by what others are reporting here. By and large, the action of those dubs helped me in a large way to unearth or discover dirty underworld dealing of illegal surveiilance and stalking on the part of JW dubs in particular, and the WTS in general. It fortified my heart to a large extend that I cannot in noway consider returning to this organisation. Iam not surprised that Illegal court unapproved survellaince and stalking on the part of the watchtower and their rank and files of Dubs go hand in hand with mind control religions.

  • carla


  • OnTheWayOut

    A couple of things. I told the elders strongly in a letter of resignation as an elder that I had doubts about the generation and about the double standard for elders' sins vs. publishers' sins. I told them that I wasn't fully applying the command (from the organization) to "know" the anointed and trust their guidance.

    I pushed the envelope of what you can say without DA'ing. The C.O. must have thought it was best that the elders steer clear of me or I might drag them down with me. That, and I really think they didn't want to DF me, hoping I would come back.

    So, NO. Nobody really bothered me. It took them about 2 years after my completed fade to even ask if they could "shepherd" me, but they had let me know they were always available to me while I was fading.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Interesting thread, as always, Flip.

    My wife and I read CoC and 'left' quietly in late fall 2003. We mark our 'anniversary of exit' as January 1, 2004.

    For a full 2 and a half years, no one bothered us. In fact, it was a bit distressing that after lifetimes inside [I was 48 and my wife 46 at the time of our exit - both essentially born in], that no one bothered to call or visit or 'care' at all. In all that time, only one elder came by - he was a close personal friend - and his visit was not so much an effort to 'help us back' as it was a friendly visit. I was close to several elders, pioneers, etc before we left. No one bothered us.

    Then, seemingly out of the blue, in the spring of 2006, we get a call from an elder who immediately told me that he also 'had Kevin [another elder] on the line also'. He began to ask me some questions and I cut the conversation off by telling them 'I am not interested', and hung up. Six months later, probably coinciding with the next visit of the CO, I get a letter inviting me to a judicial meeting in which I was being charged with 'apostasy'. I don't know what 'spying' they may have done in that time, but likely they were doing something in which to determine that I was apostate, since I had not so much as spoken with Jw's more than two or three times in all those years. I suspected at the time that perhaps they were tracking me on the Internet, perhaps here at JWN, but never confirmed that.

    I ended up submitting a letter of disassociation to them, though looking back it might have been interesting to go to the JC to see what the assholes thought they 'had on me'. But at the time I couldn't be bothered with it.

    The one thing I have been able to do is to keep them away from my wife. She hates the religion as much as I do, but her mom is still alive and she is wanting to keep that relationship until her mom dies. I believe the elders know that my hatred of the organization, fueled by their personal cowardice toward me, and by other severe unkindnesses they promoted before I legally disengaged myself from them [for instance a complete boycott of my mothers' funeral by the congregation in summer 2004 prompted by our non-attendance], would perhaps land me right up in their faces should they so much as attempt to speak with her, has worked to her advantage to this point. Any stalking they might try now would only end with me telling them that all things that go on inside my home [celebrations, drinking, allowing people to stay that they disapprove] are my decisions not hers. In that area they 'blew it' - they missed a 'two-fer' by cornering me first.

    I have noted that my SIL's and other relatives inside, avoid visiting my home at all most of the time, and never close to holiday periods. I am surprised that they haven't sent a relative in to 'see what's going on', but likely their fear that I would sue them or kick them in the nuts should they ever try anything has prevented that.

    Did I mention I hate the dirty little bastards?


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