Where to appropriately focus and direct our anger (and more importantly - how)

by Mad Sweeney 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mad Sweeney

  This is a tangent from another thread where angry responses to JWs was a side-topic.

  My opinion is that it is important to remember that the rank and file JW is a victim of the cult and that focusing our anger on any of them individually is doing them a disservice for two reasons:

  1. Their behavior, thoughts, and feelings are not their own and are only informed by the borg. It isn't just or appropriate to attack those who are victims JUST LIKE MANY OF US WERE.

  2. Opposition, especially angry opposition, reinforces the false information that the borg has indoctrinated in them: that one of the proofs they have "the truth" is that they are persecuted. Therefore, angry opposition HELPS THE BORG.

  So, how can one appropriately and succesfully oppose the borg in a way that helps people and doesn't reinforce the persecution complex? I would like this thread to discuss the answer to this question.
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  undercover

  how can one appropriately and succesfully oppose the borg in a way that helps people and doesn't reinforce the persecution complex?

  Successfully? Until someone, of their own initiative, is willing to question the authority of the WTS, the odds are against ever successfully opposing the WTS/JWs. When it comes to faith, wanting to believe trumps evidence contrary to the church/cult/organization.

  Aside from that though, I think dropping hints and making small strides is the appropriate way. It may not result in anything anytime soon. And one hint may never result in anything. But over time, the hints and number of questions may lodge in thier mind till one day when something arises that causes them to pause and wonder, it could all come flooding back, pushing them to research independantly of the WTS. Only then will they be open-minded enough to accept what you could have beat them over the head with earlier but they wouldn't accept.
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  AGuest

  "how can one appropriately and succesfully oppose the borg in a way that helps people and doesn't reinforce the persecution complex?"

  By exposing the WTBTS' false teachings... without utterly "shipwrecking" the person's faith in God, dear MS (and peace to you!). I have often marveled at how SO many come out with the belief that if/since the WTBTS isn't "it" (i.e., the truth)... then there is no "it." Who, though, besides them ever said they WERE? No one. Absolutely no one.

  Not everyone ascribes to the belief that there is absolutely NO God. The teaching that there is no God is simply the opposite pole of folks like the WTBTS -and both are extremes. There IS a God, but He is NOTHING like the WTBTS teaches. Rather, he is exactly how CHRIST teaches... abundant in loving kindness, slow to anger, merciful... teachings which even unbelievers and aethists cannot find fault with. Unfortunately, most "christian" religions tend to follow the earthling man Paul (as he is sometimes revealed in his erroneous teachings and/or as they interpret him)... and so when the HUMAN "spirit" takes over... blame the Most Holy One of Israel.

  The appropriate... and successful... way to oppose the Borg, therefore, is NOT to try and undermine the faith of those who believe in God. When you do THAT... you play RIGHT into their hands. Why? Because that is what they WARN people OF: if you leave us... you will leave God. And that is what many see - folks who leave God as a result of leaving the Borg. And THAT is why they stay IN.

  It does NOT have to be that way, though. You can, instead, tell them the TRUTH... about the Truth. That there IS a way to serve God... NOT with fear and trembling... but with LOVE and truth and SPIRIT. And that it starts with only a mustard-seed of faith, and culminates in loving God... whom you have not seen... by NOT hating your brother, whom you HAVE seen.

  Tell them the TRUTH, dear MS... and shame the Devil.

  I bid you peace.

  A slave of Christ,

  SA
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  Terry

  Meeting a traumatic experience produces the following reactions:

  1.Denial

  2.Anger

  3.Fear

  4.Argument, bargaining, working out the new terms of life, information gathering, forming new conclusions, redress of grievances

  5.Final acceptance

  After we get over the complete DENIAL (which ya gotta admit is the toughest one to hump) you get stuck in ANGER a long, long time

  before moving on to being afraid. What if the JW's are right? What if I die at Armageddon? What if there's a hell? etc. etc.

  I'm currently stuck in 4!
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  yknot

  You use the same techniques you learned in TMS....

  Start by purposing a leading question.....(the question will vary depending on opportunity)
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  A.Fenderson

  My opinion is that it is important to remember that the rank and file JW is a victim of the cult and that focusing our anger on any of them individually is doing them a disservice for two reasons:

  1. Their behavior, thoughts, and feelings are not their own and are only informed by the borg. It isn't just or appropriate to attack those who are victims JUST LIKE MANY OF US WERE.

  Being completely honest with myself, I think my (sometimes) tendency to become irate at JWs for believing such a load of shit is a projection of the anger I feel at myself for having beleived it for a time. I've not read any of the books on cults, mind-control, or the JW organization in particular that often get mentioned here--maybe I should. Perhaps forgiving myself for having believed it will help me turn that same feeling outwards, and I can more easily concentrate my disgust towards the leadership rather than the rank and file. I guess it's worth a shot, anyway. What does anyone consider to be the one best book that I might read in this case?
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  Scarred for life

  I need a book on this subject also. My anger is more directed at my parents and the other adult relatives that brought me up as a JW.
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  Mad Sweeney

  That self-loathing gets pretty ingrained, too, doesn't it? Hard to break free from even after leaving.
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  cult classic

  Excellent question MadSweeney -

  We attend the special events in their lives. Funerals, graduations and weddings (we've been invited to 2). Convention/assembly parts if asked. For the little ones in the family, I've gone to their baptisms, first talks and demos. We try to share in the things that are important for the family. (although we've managed to escape the memorial since we left.) We are our usual respectful and social selves and will engage in conversation for as long as they want. Really all they can say is that we are the same as always....we just don't go anymore.

  With the exception of a few in our immediate families, no one has asked us about our position. We'd be happy to tell them but you can just see the fear in their eyes of what we'll say. So we keep it light and relax them with ordinary conversation. God knows their little brains can't handle much

  I think that is really powerful!

  Cult Classic

  P.S. If this thread is still jumping in the morning I'll post a bit more in response to y'all individually - some interesting stuff on this one!
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  AllTimeJeff

  I agree with you Mad Sweeney. In rare cases, boisterous and demonstrative works, but for overall achievable, slow and steady wins the race.