Another newbie... so to speak

joeblow

Hey... how's everyone?

I'm a new guy here... so a bit about me.

I was raised as a JW. My parents started studying when I was a baby, so it's all I knew growing up. I was never convinced even as a child that being a JW was right for me. This was most likely deeply rooted in the fact that a family friend and fellow JW sexually abused me when I was between the ages of 6 and 8. That aside, I never felt anything for the organization... I had zero desire as a child to attend meetings or to go door-to-door. I would come up with all sorts of excuses as a child why I couldn't go to meetings... mostly... I pretended to be sick from mysterious ailments that lasted the evening. I still don't quite know why I was allowed to get away with it... but my parents went along with my charade.

I was baptized when I was 17, not because I wanted to be, but because it was expected of me. By the time I was 21, I was only attending meetings just enough to appease my parents... and nothing more. It took until I was in my early 30's though to actually step completely away and start my life free from any direct influence of JWs.

Why am I here? Why did I stumble on this forum? Well... Memorial. I was looking up this year's date in preparation for any questions for my parents. I haven't had the heart to tell them I've faded away so to speak... especially after watching what they went through when one of my younger siblings was DF'd several years ago. knowing the Memorial date and pretending I've at least attended that keeps the parents marginally satisfied that "all is ok" and they leave me alone about it all for another year.

Anyway, I started reading this forum, and wanted to say Hi... it's interesting to read people's stories here.

Lozhasleft

Hello and welcome from another newbie...I hope you enjoy the forum. How sad it is that in order to express our most sincere feelings and thoughts about our personal beliefs we have to either 'fade' and deceive or get expelled. Doesnt really match a loving god does it? I believe the WTBS have given him such a bad name.

Loz x

cameo-d

Welcome, JoeBlow.

I think you will find a lot of support here. It's fortunate for you that you have been able to distance yourself from teachings since childhood. In the world WT but not part of it. Were you always able to tune it out or did you succumb to any of the doctrinal beliefs?

Hope you'll stick around. It's a good place to purge and heal.

joeblow

Fade for me is a choice... simply to ease the feelings of family members. I feel a sense of responsibility to my family to at least let them down easy.

Was I always able to tune it out? No. There are bits of who I am right now.. things I do in day-to-day life... even how I live my day-to-day life that are directly influenced by my JW upbringing. In most cases, I'm good with that.... but I'm also glad to be free to do as I feel is right for me. The fundamental doctrinal bits.. they never stuck. I parrotted what I needed to when I was a child, when I lived under my parent's roof... but that is as far as it ever went with me. I questioned a lot as a child, and I was always firmly instructed not to question, but to simply have faith that what we were told was correct... the year 607 thing stood out to me as incorrect when I was like... 10 or 11. I was an avid reader, especially history and science, and nothing added up... the accepted dates were wrong - or at least didn't connect with history as I read it everywhere else, the quotes from scientists (often I had the books that were being quoted from) were edited, or taken out of context. Every time I pointed this out I was shushed. At some point in my youth, I learned just to shut up and get through it all... much the same way I dealt with the abuse.

Mmmm sounds bitter... and in some ways I suppose it is.

Part of my healing has been to move away... far away... half a planet away. In effect running, but freeing me up to figure out who I am and what's right for me. In that process, I've traveled a lot, and I think that's what made it all become clear to me. I spent a lot of time in 3rd world countries, meeting people, helping people, and learning what it means to be human.

Another newbie... so to speak

joeblow

Lozhasleft

cameo-d

joeblow

finallysomepride

ataloa

dissed

Mickey mouse

Mad Sweeney

goldensky

Share this