by ana_dote 19 Replies latest jw friends
Thanks for the story, ana_dote; I read it all and I hardly ever read long posts. I don't have any advice for you but I wish I had taken yours about getting a drink first. I'm thirsty!
They really fool you into believing that the elders are "a hiding place from the wind." When you have that drilled into you, it's really shocking when the elders treat you like garbage.
That was a good read, Ana-dote. I can relate to much of your experience, and thank you for posting your story.
Thank you for sharing your painful story ana_dote. And a belated welcome to JWN as well!
It was very troubling reading the bit where the elders presumed to perform a mental health diagnosis. If this happened within the last 10 years (approximately) there's really no excuse for it even by Watchtower standards. There's been almost a green light on seeking professional help but many "old school" elders still hang onto old knee-jerk habits.
Wishing you peace and healing on your journey,
om
Wow-weee, Ana_Dote!!! Fascinating story - and I, too, can relate to the "JW father who is actually Jekyll and Hyde" situation...
Zid 
aww thanks everyone :-)
man in black - thank you for the compliment on writing! I actually would loooove to be a writer. I consider myself an amateur writer/poet...and I have written songs for years as well :-) So I take it as a huge compliment when someone notices! thanks!
(((ana-dote)))
It's very unfeeling of your own family to be so critical of you. If you did loose communication with them, imo, you haven't lost much. It seems they have gone out of their way to be mean and judgemental.
You need to be around people who are uplifting, who will support you in being just who you are, the way you are. That's what real friends do.
cameo-d - I honestly couldn't have said it better myself. Our family has never been a close-knit family. We pretend, but the reality is far from it. I've never really felt accepted by either of my sisters. I used to be hardcore attached to my mother, but over the years I have come to realize the reality of our relationship and that it was not as close as I thought. Obviously, my relationship with my father has been up and down. I feel as though I have finally gained his respect as an adult, although I don't necessarily feel accepted by him. My mom even admitted to me once (she claims she doesn't remember saying it) that I was always the "black sheep" of the family. Way to make me feel loved, mom. Every move I have made in life has been criticized under the harsh eye of a judgmental family.
I have begun seeking out true friends who DO accept me for who I am and support me in my life's journey. Sighco and skywho are two such friends. I am slowly finding more (ex-jw and otherwise).
Thank you for your supportive words :-)
and *hugs* again to everyone who has been so nice as to give me encouragement/advice/props/acknowledgement lol
(((((((Ana)))))))
Sylvia
ana_dote, it must have taken a lot to type that all out. Thanks for sharing your story.
You have seen that the elders are trained to be organization men, not really able to help the individual. Their main concerns are the numbers for the congregation. Good for you finally deciding not to give in to their "hair" problem.
Just my opinion, I would recommend holding out for now on sharing your sexual preference with family. You have "some" support from them and are not lying by withholding. You may need that support for now.
Get a network of good friends outside of the religion. If you already have those, get closer to them. If you need friends that understand, see if there is an ex-JW group at meetup.com in your area, and certainly reach out for friends here on this forum. I know I did both and I love my friends that understand. Some are far away and I only met them once or never, but call them regularly. Others, I see on a regular basis. I have some good family that are not JW and they help also.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with Us Ana.
We all look for our place in the world, it is indeed the journey that defiens us and not so much the estination.
The means is what lays validity to the end, never the other way around.
You need to find yourself and your place and realize that NO ONE can do that for you.
Friendship is great, a must really, in anyone's life, but we must NOT defien ourselves by it, by the friends we keep or the friendships we have.
We define our life, it does not define us.
Your family is your family and nothing will ever change that.
Not everyone is able to handle news of the magnitude that you have to share with them and I am sure that when the time FEELS right, it will be right.
Don't rush it and be comfortable with yourself first.
Know that God is love and that God is NOT a religon or religious doctrine.
