Advice on how to shed your worldly friends.

by iknowall558 17 Replies latest forum tech-support

  • iknowall558
    Alana Christine I have a question for you guys out there who have enough knowledge about my situatuion to inform on me as much as you can. I'm living in the dorms at college right now, yes it's not the best situation for me. I made a few friends when I arrived, but they weren't the best people even though some say they are religious, ... (they've been baptised but they don't show it). I've spoken to my bible study conductor about the whole thing. I just don't know how to say that I can't be friends with them, with anyone here in that way without sounding insane, paranoid or snobbish. I'm just a very straightforward person. Can anyone give me some guidance in my circumstance, it would help me a lot.

    See More Thu at 11:52pm · Comment · Like Unlike · View Feedback (4) Hide Feedback (4) · Report

    Jehovah's Witnesses News, Library, History, Videos, Talks, Illustrations From my experience there is no getting around the awkwardness. You can't fit a square peg into a round circle. This is just part of the cost of trying to do what is right. Be prepared to be persecuted, ridiculed and ostracized. Sorry for the bad news.

    When Jesus said that the world would hate you...he meant it. LN Yesterday at 12:13am · Report Allan Caranguian @ ALANA
    That is true... Christians are to be persecuted but you must be delighted for Jehovah's favor is upon you.. Yesterday at 1:28am · Report Katy Hood Staley While it is true that you can't be friends and participate with the people you've encountered there, you can maintain your reputation and representation of Jehovah by passively choosing not to fellowship with them. An explaination is not nessecarily required, but should it come to that, you can always make it known that your path is different than ... See More the one they are on. Then live your life, however difficult, in a way that demonstrates your love for Jehovah. Their way of life is not sustaining, and they will see your peace and comfort, even under the burden of persecution. From my experience, this may gain the respect and curiosity of some of those people, and open doors for Jehovah to work in their lives later on. Yesterday at 1:56am · Report Jehovah's Witnesses News, Library, History, Videos, Talks, Illustrations safeguard your heart, for out of it are the sources of life,” Christians need to have on “the breastplate of righteousness.” (Pr 4:23; Eph 6:14) As a protection against his heart turning bad, it is essential that a person follow God righteousness since the heart of fallen, sinful man is treacherous and desperate. (Jer 17:9) The heart needs much ... See More discipline and training. The Christian can be assured of this course only by sticking close to the Scriptures, which, the apostle Paul says, are “beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness, that the man of God may be fully competent, completely equipped for every good work.” He should accept gratefully the discipline that is received from righteous men who make such use of God’s Word.—2Ti 3:16,17. Yesterday at 2:37am · Report

  • dgp

    Being a worldly, and having been told directly why I can't be friends with or marry a witness, this doesn't surprise me. The witness in question was at least more honest about it. However, reading this does give me the goosebumps. How can a convert be so stupid? How can anyone really believe that the right thing to do is to despise the rest of the world? Sad, so unbelievably sad, that they are living in a self-imposed prison.

    All JW's forgive me, but, HOW STUPID. HOW UNBEARABLY STUPID.

  • iknowall558

    You are right dgp. For 24yrs I believed I was doing the right thing even though I knew I must have come across as a stuck up, rude and judgemental person. When I read this......even though it is completely familiar to me.....I did gasp. I find it shocking and somewhat scary. Cant believe that was once me.

  • GromitSK

    This is not a phenomena peculiar to JWs surely? It seems to me to be quite common in other faiths where the believers are strict or orthodox such as certain branches of Judaism and Islam?

  • teel

    Gromit: why the red herring? Just because JWs are not the only nutjobs on the planet, it doesn't vindicate them in any way. Sure, there isn't one single thing that's unique to JWs, but this is JWN, not

  • dgp

    I happen to have some friends from other faiths and they are forbidden from marrying us despicable worldlies, too, but they are not told to think of us as birdfeed. They are not told that they should lie to us about what they believe. Et cetera; I'm sure the readers of this post get the point.

    If I'm not mistaken, Christopher Hitchens' "god is not great" says that, by force of law, a muslim can't marry an infidel in Afghanistan. As Teel says, this means that JW's are not the only ones to enforce such things, but, does that make it right?

    How many people would actually convert if they were told that they would have to dump all their friends and relatives?

    I have a question, and probably it will get no answer. Admittedly, most of us worldlies do not really care much about you. But, supposing a worldly person showed real concern for a JW, and really cared about him or her, would it be the right, loving and Christian thing to shun that person because she or he will die at Armageddon? How would real courtesy and humanity make you feel? Do you realize what you're doing? The sad answer is, most of you don't. How sad.

    Iknowall, at least you have seen the light. One of the hardest things for a worldly to do is to love a witness no matter how scornful they are to you. When you get to understand that, as Jesus would say it, "they don't know what they are doing", you also ask the Father (if there's any) to forgive them. And in your heart you do. As you can see by my post, that is not an easy thing to do or one that doesn't leave you with wounds. But you know that's the right thing to do and you do it. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't end as birdfeed, right?

  • GromitSK


    I don't think it is a red-herring as that would imply the remark wasn't relevant - which it clearly is, or intended to misdirect the conversation which it doesn't - it might broaden it somewhat though. I merely made the observation that the type of behaviour criticised is common to many fundamentalist religions and beliefs. I think it is a very sad phenomena but a natural consequence of the belief system. I don't think I said that makes it OK.

    I don't see any problem with the remark I made. If you don't like it ignore it. Jeesh.

    I know this is JWN thank you I can read.

  • VoidEater

    I just don't know how to say that I can't be friends with them, with anyone here in that way without sounding insane, paranoid or snobbish.

    Maybe because it is insane, paranoid or snobbish.

    I'm just a very straightforward person.

    No she's not - if she were, she would tell them in a straightforward way, "I don't want to be your friend."

  • iknowall558

    JWs make a big effort to try and be seen as genuine, loving, decent, friendly people. But in reality they are not. They draw a circle round themselves and stay within it....lest they be contaminated by the 'world' and all of its tainted people.

    JW friendship is offered only with the intent of converting someone......not socialising with them. The indoctrination and brain washing is powerful and it teaches you NOT to see the human being. If they are not within the club, then they dont love Jehovah. And if they dont love Jehovah then they should be avoided.

    My son, 7yrs old at the time, was told this by the daughter (also 7yrs) of my friend....... "My mum said Ive not to speak to your mum because it makes Jehovah happy".

    This is no way makes you 'Christian' , and in no way shouts out that you have love, as you do end up being judgemental and having this elitist attitude that you are so much better than everyone else who is not a Jehovah's Witness, no matter how nice they are. It is so not attractive.

    If JWs are blunt and up front about rejecting any friendship offered to them by a non JW, then it will repel people from them and their religion. Their main objective is to draw people in and boost the numbers. It is a very awkward situation to be in, I can vouch for that, and it can go against the natural inclination of your own personality to do so.

  • GromitSK

    I think you're right iknowall. It is against probably all reasonable people's personalities. I found it very uncomfortable constantly rebuffing offers of friendship or opportunities to socialise with nice people simply because a) they weren't witnesses and b) my dance card was full of stupid meetings.

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