by IMHO 56 Replies latest social relationships
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After reading your opening statement I would have to say a divorce sounds like a good idea. Especially for her but maybe you need a fresh start too and this could be the boost you need. Hard to be critical of someone who feels that taking on a basket case "until death do you part" is too much to ask.
Have you consulted with Oompa?
I think I maybe be borderline agoraphobic.
I do leave the house but very rarely on my own and even then never too far or too long.
I'm fine if my wife is with me. I feel like I'm sounding more-and-more of a total head-case and that she'll be better off without me anyway.
But I do honestly want to get better and do what I can to save my marriage and not hear the words "It's too late"
Thank-you for all your responses. This conversation has really done-me-in, I need to sleep, please join me again tomorrow if you can.
Get a Divorce and have a Beer..
Or..
You could ask Oompa for Advise and have a Beer..
.................... ...OUTLAW
I am not sure I follow...you don't have a lot of friends due to traveling for work, AND you have a borderline fear of leaving the house and talking on the phone?
Are you sure you don't want her to leave because she helps you cope with everyday life? Is there a way she'd be willing to edge away slowly, allowing you to learn to cope or put in place other systems or supports, and you two can be friends...she can live her life how she wants, and yet not abandon you?
Seems from the few short replies that maybe you need her for a reason that is not marraige specific, and she needs a break and doesn't know how to do it, unless its like ripping off a bandage.
If I'm totally wrong and out of line, I apologize.
I don't know if this is "help", but:
For a marriage to work, each partner has to contribute something to the other.
I have a sign at my desk that reads, "How do I make it easy to do business with me?"
At home, I often ask myself, "What do I bring to the table of this marriage?"
Most partners feel an ever increasing strain if they feel they are doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship.
Flipper should be along with the "poor baby" syrup any time now.
The additional problem now as I've let it go on so long is speaking to someone to arrange it.
That is called an 'excuse'
You will have to give her up as your 'enabler' one way (by changing to keeping your marriage) or another (she leaves you and you are all alone and having to choose life or death by starvation!)
She wants a divorce? Then tell her, "pick up your bra, and pick up your blouse, and get the hell, out of my house!" Next, go get some beer, if you haven't done so already. Oh, and don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the ocean. You just need to cast your rod in the right places!
144001, from the "just booted his bitch out of the house" class
Sounds like she wants out and it's over for your marriage. Accept it and make plans to live on your own. The advice you need is a couple years late, so it makes no sense to offer it. Good luck.
I have totally went through what you are going through right now, twice! You will survive this man, you can manage the mental problems too. I have managed severe anxiety and panic disorder with and without medication. All this shit you are going through may have a bright side to it. Look for that, and it can be a real help. By the way, feel free to give me a call if you can bring yourself to talk. Trust me, I understand. I have even gotten to the point where it is hard even to talk, just period. Call me and I will just talk to you and tell you my story man, it may help you out, just to hear somebody else went through this. I will also tell you how my life drastically changed for the better. 404-645-8060 Clint
