Whats the strangest watchtower/awake article ever

by sleepy 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • AlanF

    From what has been popularly called the "Youth" book:

    *** yy 22-3 3 Growing into Manhood ***
    To have fun, maybe? Naah, that's too strong!

    13 Our Creator provided sex as a means for a man to express deep love for a woman and to father their children. But God laid down rules regarding sex, explaining that sex relations are to be had only by a man and a woman who are married to each other.
    Excepting of course if the man was a Biblical patriarch who could do anything he damn well pleased. Being the patriarch and all.

    This is because God purposed that every baby brought into the world should have both a father and a mother who would take all the responsibility of rearing that child. It is, therefore, wrong in God’s sight for persons who are not married to engage in sexual relations.
    Unless, of course, you're a Biblical patriarch, or perhaps a member of the Governing Body who likes young boys.

    14 On the other hand, for married persons sexual relations are a wonderful way for them to express love for each other. The husband lies close to his wife so that his male organ fits naturally into her birth canal. This can give great pleasure to each of them. In the process, the husband’s sperm cells go out of his body through his male organ right into his wife’s birth canal.
    Can you imagine the sex life of someone who could write this? The husband "lies close to his wife"? Doesn't this guy know about "in and out"?

    These sex cells move through the canal, and if a mature egg cell is there in the wife, one of her husband’s sperm cells may join with it, and the fertilized cell will begin to grow into a baby. So you see, God made the sex organs for a sacred purpose, that of passing on life. That is why it is proper that they be used according to God’s rules.
    I certainly hold sex as sacred.

    Here comes another one:

    15 The best way to get answers to your questions about sexual development is to ask your parents, particularly your father. Your father has already experienced everything you have gone through and lots more.
    Right. Like in my case. My father was very experienced sexually. When I was about 12, after my mother browbeat him into telling me about sex, his explanation was something like this: "The man lies down next to his wife and puts his tail into her tail. It feels real good. Sometimes the sperm makes a baby." This, from a man schooled in the art of lovemaking by J. F. Rutherford, who regarded women as "a bag of bones and a hank of hair".

    Also, whereas other youths might give you information that is only half right—a few facts and a lot of wild stories—your father should be able to give you good information that will help you and work for your happiness.
    What your father should do, and what your father can do based on Watchtower training, are sometimes rather different.

    If your father is not in a position to give you information or counsel based on God’s Word, it would be valuable for you to know what God’s Word says. You will find that elders in a congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses will be glad to be of help to you.
    Right. And just as my father was "taught by Jehovah", so are these elders. I have full confidence that Jehovah has taught these men all that they ought to know.


  • AlanF

    Hi yrs2long,

    We've had a great deal of fun with this "Cows and Women" article over the years. One of our Catholic friends started reading it and she couldn't stop laughing. I referred the article to a few JWs some years ago and they couldn't stop coming up with excuses.

    These days when I want to have sex with my bovinish female I just say, "Moo". And she comes a'runnin'.


  • yrs2long

    From what I understand Alan, and I quote (badly): "There is no petting or sex relations between bull and cow permitted... until the "ovum...is at large". Seems to me your female has to initiate it and then, and only then, if you are aroused, may you make it known.

    Oh and my father told me in our sex talk to "stay away from boys, they're dogs. I used to be one and I know - 'nough said." That was the end of the discussion.

  • sleepy

    In this article the fact the the org has made mistakes is shown to be proof that they are Gods chosen organisation.
    Ha ha.

    *** w54 10/15 638-9 Questions from Readers ***
    ó How does Jehovah’s spirit help the “faithful and discreet slave” arrive at the truth of a matter? The Society does not claim infallibility or inspiration. How much is dependent upon the written Word? How can we be sure that this is the organization Jehovah is using when some things are published and later changed?—C. P., United States.
    In regard to how the truth is brought forth through Jehovah’s organization, please note that if the Watch Tower Society were infallible there would be no need for future correction of viewpoints held; but because it is not infallible and has never claimed to be, from time to time corrections are necessary. If Jehovah’s spirit operated in the way it did upon Bible writers, inspiring them to write according to Jehovah’s thoughts, then no future corrections in matters would ever be necessary. But because the spirit does not operate in this way today some corrections are made from time to time.
    Jehovah God, in fact, foretold or indicated that such would be the case. At Proverbs 4:18 (AS) it states: “The path of the righteous is as the dawning light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.” While the light is still dim the broad outline of an object may be visible but the details of it are not always distinct, and as the light increases these details may be seen with more clarity and a corrected view is obtained. Full dependence is placed upon Jehovah’s Word in the formulation of truth and it is from his Word that proof should be forthcoming. However, with greater clarity and understanding, new truths are discerned and something that previously appeared very logical may require revision.
    Jehovah did not say that the entire matter would be seen in crystal clarity instantaneously. With these last days in mind, Jesus spoke of the “faithful and discreet slave” that would be appointed to bring forth “food at the proper time.” (Matt. 24:45, NW) This is a progressive process, food being continually provided, and as we advance in the stream of time and observe further fulfillment of prophecy new truths are discerned and brought forth and constitute fresh and nourishing food for our day. Some truths were not essential for us prior to the time of their discernment, otherwise Jehovah would have caused them to become known earlier.
    Even the erroneous viewpoints held by Jehovah’s witnesses during the first world war served their purpose in contributing to the fulfillment of prophecy, for Jehovah had long ago foretold a condition of spiritual uncleanness upon his people at that particular time and the cleansing work that would be done. Hence such things are to be expected according to prophecy and their occurrence is a confirmation that this is Jehovah’s organization, rather than a cause for raising question concerning Jehovah’s use of the organization.
    Jehovah uses this organization because it is meek and teachable and is not set and bound in its viewpoints. It is an organization that looks to Jehovah for guidance and direction and watches his maneuvering of matters on the world scene and the outworking of events that fulfill prophecy and it lines up its views in accord with these things. It is willing to change and keep up with the developing conditions, to keep up with the light as the light is revealed brighter and brighter. That is why Jehovah can use this organization, and certainly the facts show that he has been using it and is continuing to use it. He is bringing the increase. He is using this organization to preach the good news of the established Kingdom in all the inhabited earth. Prophecies are being fulfilled upon this group. We are counseled to remain close to the organization, for even if the organization does have views that are later changed, our safety lies in remaining within the organization and changing with it when the light increases and new truths are discerned.
    No other organization has shown this flexibility to alter its views, to keep up with the changing times, to be alert to the increased light that comes from Jehovah from the temple, for other groups are bound by their centuries-old creeds. Rather than a stumbling stone, the Society’s readiness to alter its views when necessary should be a source of comfort and encouragement, an assurance that there will be continual advancement and increase in learning, an ever-brightening light as we approach closer to the perfect day with its noonday brightness. A false religion may have some truth in it, but it never gets rid of its many falsehoods and the truth it does have continues to be contaminated. With Jehovah’s organization the beliefs can be established from the Bible, and when some erroneous view does creep in it is soon ferreted out and discarded.
    An analogy might be drawn between the first and the second presence of Christ Jesus. At his first advent certainly the apostles at first thought he would be an entirely earthly King and that the kingdom would be earthly. Only after Pentecost did they learn that it was to be a heavenly kingdom. Prior to that time they could not discern this truth, and they entertained a false idea, as shown by Acts 1:6-8 (NW): “When, now, they had assembled, they went to asking him: ‘Master, are you restoring the kingdom to Israel at this time?’ He said to them: ‘It does not belong to you to get knowledge of the times or seasons which the Father has placed in his own jurisdiction; but you will receive power when the holy spirit arrives upon you.’” Likewise it was some time until they saw clearly that they were no longer under the Mosaic law as such, as shown by Acts chapter 15. But that did not mean that they were not Jehovah’s servants and his channel for bringing the truth to the people. So we should not stumble because the same is true today.
    In fact, this ability to discard the erroneous as the light increases marks the difference between Jehovah’s true worshipers and the false religions of Christendom. When it can be clearly shown from the Bible that an idea once held does not have sufficient Scriptural support and that a different viewpoint has the weight of Bible testimony behind it, then the new viewpoint is adopted and the former understanding is set aside. To be too proud to do this is to have a pride that would presage a fall. (Prov. 16:18) Increased understanding of the Bible itself and growing proof from the Bible itself are the basis for altering the viewpoint. This organization is always probing and studying to find solid foundations in the Scriptures for its beliefs and as the light increases the foundations of our beliefs become stronger and stronger. We have ears to hear a clarified truth, not ears that refuse to hear. We have eyes to see the increased light, not eyes that refuse to see. We are anxious for new light and for new “food at the proper time.”
    This Jehovah supplies, not through individuals, but through his organization. (Prov. 3:5, 6) He has so operated with this group in the past and he is still doing so, as the physical facts abundantly confirm. Past history of the organization has shown that those who split off, thinking themselves smarter than the Society, are soon swallowed up in the seas of humanity. The new ideas they entertain are soon forgotten. They are not preached world-wide to all the inhabited earth, as Jesus said would be done with the truth. These separating, disgruntled ones are not fulfilling the prophecies that Jesus said would be fulfilled by his true people. It is this organization that is enjoying that fulfillment and it is through this organization that Jehovah sends further light and spiritual food that rectifies any erroneous conceptions previously entertained, as well as adding to the rich storehouse of spiritual food available for those devoted to him and willing to exert themselves in his service by telling it to others.
    Jesus said: “All the same, wisdom is vindicated by its works.” So this organization is vindicated as the one Jehovah is using by its activity in doing the preaching work Jesus foretold and in being used to fulfill many other prophecies.—Matt. 11:19, NW.

  • sleepy

    No tipping hats please.

    *** w52 4/15 254-5 Questions from Readers ***
    ó Is it proper for men to tip their hats to women?—G. S., Missouri.
    Some say hat-tipping started in the days of armored knights. In a book on customs we read: “In the presence of his superior officer the ordinary soldier would indicate his inferiority by removing his protecting helmet. Until the day that armor was laid aside forever no man dared appear helmeted before his king. Again habit became custom, and when equals met each knight removed his metal casque out of respect to the other.” Another book on the subject indicates it started even before that time: “Some authorities suppose that this custom did not originate until the days of chivalry and knighthood during the Middle Ages, but there is evidence that it was common among the Greeks, Romans and certain other ancient peoples. At any rate, it is believed that later it became customary to remove the headgear to show deference to a superior or as a mark of respect to a person of distinction. It was only a step further to lift the headdress as an act of politeness or gallantry to ladies. After the introduction of men’s hats a few centuries ago, raising the hat or completely removing it became a general method of greeting women. The practice retains some of its earlier significance and many people still take off their hats to salute distinguished persons of either sex. Respect for the national flag is shown in the same manner.”
    Incidentally, not only is patriotic significance given to this gesture as shown by its being done for the flag, but also religious significance is accorded to it in that Catholic men tip their hats when they pass the Catholic church. They do this as an act of worship toward the bread and wine that is inside the church and which according to their belief becomes the actual flesh and blood of Christ. So in doing this they believe they are paying homage to Jesus Christ, who they think is inside the church in the consecrated wafer.
    Man and woman were not created equal in power and glory; the man came first and was given special prerogatives. As Jehovah is the head over his wifely organization, and as Christ is the head over his espoused church, so the man is the head over the woman. It is the woman that is commanded to show respect and recognition of the man’s position of headship, and women who rebel at it are not so much rebelling against men as they are against God.—Gen. 3:16; 1 Cor. 11:2-10; Eph. 5:33.
    But in his world Satan has reversed matters. Starting in Eden, he has pushed the woman ahead of the man, exalted her above man and used her to bring about the downfall of men dedicated to Jehovah. He has flouted God by reversing the position of the sexes. But he is very subtle about it, camouflaging his work under the guise of harmless custom. Many customs are harmless, but when they contradict a theocratic principle Satan is behind it to discredit God. He is a past master at such deception. (2 Cor. 11:14) In this particular matter of hat-tipping he appeals to the vanity of women and the so-called gentlemanly qualities of men, and any man who does not comply with the subtle custom is considered crude and discourteous, disrespectful of womanhood. So out of a fear of what others may think the majority fall into conformity.—Prov. 29:25.
    To refrain from tipping the hat to a woman does not mean one disrespects her. Frequently it is the ones who are excessively courteous and gallant to women who show the least respect for womanhood. They use these flattering gestures and forms of outward courtesy hypocritically, as an opening wedge for improper advances that ultimately show disrespect and lead to misuse of women. It is not good to flatter people, to turn their head; it is to their harm. Specifically, why would a woman want this special show of respect from a man? One woman said in response to this question: “You don’t know how important it makes a woman feel to have a man tip his hat to her.” That is sufficient reason for Christians to refrain from the custom. It is not in the interests of the individual to make him feel important, whether the individual is male or female.
    Some might argue that the friendly nod of the head came from the practice of bowing—but the nod is given regardless of sex, by both men and women. It does not exalt the woman. If hat-tipping were done by both men and women to each other, as mutual greeting and show of respect for each other, at least it would not be exalting one above the other. When a customary show of respect is performed between men as well as between man and woman, when it does not set the woman apart for special honor because of her sex, then it does not seem Scripturally objectionable. Hat removal would be too inconvenient for the woman? Then why is it the man that is supposed to rise when a woman enters a room or comes to or leaves the table, and never the woman? Is it too inconvenient again? Is she pinned to the chair, as the hat is pinned to her head? What custom does exist whereby women show respect to men? The absence of any is not just by chance, but is by satanic design to untheocratically elevate the woman above the man. In many ways Satan has taken the woman from the position assigned her by God, taken her from the home and its duties and put her into politics and commerce and religious leadership, and thereby caused much of the modern breakdown on the family front.—Heb. 13:4; Rev. 2:20.
    The surface courtesies that are flattering to human vanity are not what real Christian women want; instead they cherish the respect and love of one Christian toward another, and which are shown in weightier ways than the untheocratic customs of Satan’s lustful world. Both men and women should stay in the place God assigned them, in human relationships and divine worship. Only such as are content with these assigned places will live in the new world. Open or subtly disguised creature worship and exaltation will have no place there. It has no place with true Christians now.

  • drahcir yarrum
    drahcir yarrum

    Maybe someone has access to the exact article or series of articles in the WT where the pronouncement was if a Witness unilaterally broke off a wedding engagement with their fiance, it should be viewed the same as if the two were already married and could lead to disfellowshipping of the offending party.

    I don't know if anyone was actually DF'd for coming to their senses before marrying the wrong person, but I remember the policy.

  • gilwarrior

    I remember this one article that mentioned that masterbation can cause sterility.

    Well I guess I can have any children of my own!

  • Mulan

    Alan, I always thought COWs were Circuit Overseer's Wives!!

    That article was too much. I about died laughing.

    I also remember the ones about the heart and emotions. I remember trying to witness to the German auto mechanic who was working on my car. We were talking about a hot news item, about a man who had just received an artificial heart (I think his name was Barney Clark), back in the early 80's. I was telling him about the emotions in the heart, and how this poor man would be left without that, because the heart was artificial. He looked at me like I was nuts, and said "Marilyn, the heart is a pump, and nothing more." I suspected he was right, so I shut up.

    Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
    "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers

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