Do I convert for him????

by butalbee 23 Replies latest social relationships

  • JBean

    I totally agree with outnfree!!!!! Don't even THINK about getting baptized! Tell his family in no uncertain terms you are DONE with the bible studies and that you'd like to remain friends, but you are NOT interested in the JW faith. (See how long they'll stick around!)
    As for your guy: He CAN be with you AND MARRY YOU if that's what you both want. He WILL NOT be disfellowshipped because of this. The JW's CANNOT enforce a rule as to who you can and cannot be with (they try, but there's no scriptural grounds for it!) Tell this guy that he needs to look deeper into why he feels as he does and that it IS possible to take the relationship to the next level, it's HIS choice!!!! If he doesn't, then i'm truly sorry to say he does not love you as you believe he does. Period. I was married to a non-believer and it took a while for my family to "accept" him, but they did over the course of a few months and actually ended up liking him very much. I'm involved with a non-JW again now, and initially preached to him (about 1 year ago) with the sole purpose of trying to make it easier FOR ME... if he converted it would be soooo simple. But now, with all the stuff I'm learning here... I told him the other night that I'd NEVER preach to him again! : ) Jbean

  • TR


    change your phone number! You damn well know converting to please him is a mistake, especially converting to JW! Move if you have to, but get the hell away from anything JW!

    Assuming that you live in a free country, you have complete freedom in searching for the mate that is right for you. Why bitch it up by getting stuck with someone that doesn't even share the same religious ideas? You know that it's best to find someone that has these things in common, don't you? Come on, don't do a foolish thing that will cost you years of untold pain. Use your freedom to find a compatible mate.


    "YK is his name, false prophecy is his game"

  • toribabe

    I totally agree.


    They are a bunch of control freaks. They're totally bad news.

    I've d=got a boyfriend and he's a JW. They have no interest in the things of god, They just use god as a cover. They're a cult, and they like to be in control

  • CPiolo


    What these people are asking you to do is nothing more than emotional blackmail. As many have pointed out, no one can tell you what to do. But do you want a relationship based upon that? Again as others have pointed out, this will only get worse. Once baptized, you are subject to reproval, shunning, and disfellowshipping in order that they have further power to manipulate your behavior. If you make the choice to convert, how far will this blackmail go in influencing your relationship? Will they put on the pressure to go out in service, to change your hairstyle, to further influence who is and who is not your friend (good vs. bad associations), and so on?

    Secondly, what kind of love lets others manipulate and blackmail a loved one?Your boyfriend seems content to sit back and let his family and friends try to influence you. By his inaction he is condoning their behavior. What does that say about his love for you? How strong and unconditional is it? What's wrong with you the way you are? Why does he feel the need to change you? What else about you will he want to change or will he let others try to change about you?

    Will you be true to yourself by converting? Do you want a life with someone who feels the need to change you, or do you want a life with someone too weak to defend you and your relationship?

    Just a few of my thoughts.

    Good luck,


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