by looloo 34 Replies latest jw friends
I smiled and spoke to DF'd ones. I was glad they were there and was going to treat them good. Being rude is against my nature.
After a CO visit meeting, I was asking a DF sister how her young son was doing. Later the CO informs me that wasn't proper. It ended up with me calling a one-on-one meeting with him to chew his ass out. I can't remember how much longer I stayed an elder, but was soon gone.
Think About It
Never could do it Thankfully...
My sister shunned my mother after she was disfellowshipped and their relationship has never been the same. Even after my mom went back married an elder and has been a pioneer for years, she never got over her own daughter not talking to her.
My sister now can see that she shouldn't have allowed peer pressure to dictate her conscience and totally stands behind me in my inactivity. Time and experience totally changes a person.
My mom was not a witness and would always try to arrange gatherings where I would be with my disfellowshipped brother. I was a new witness myself and wanted so much to do the right thing, but I could never reconcile my feelings. On the one hand, I felt so guilty being judgmental of my brother and on the other hand, I felt so guilty being disloyal to the borg. I ended up being disloyal to both. I couldn't fully show love to my brother the way my mom wanted me to and I never felt like I lived up to what the borg wanted of me. Now that I have no desire to please the borg, I have many regrets over the way I treated my brother all those years. I feel guilt and shame and sadness over it. I lost all the way around. My mom died before I saw the light, so I could never thank her for what she tried to do or apologize for being an ass. I do, however, love my brother and have worked to restore my relationship with him. There is no doubt, though, that what was lost is lost. I hate that very much.
In many ways, I am still L4P.
looloo
When active in the cult, I believed that it was an insane, inhumane response to 'just walk on by' pretending DFd or DAd people were unworthy of common human decency. I would always greet them, and speak with them if they felt so inclined. I maintain that this is only being civil, and dispalying good manners. I got myself into trouble over this quite a few times, but carried on regardless.
When I DAd myself in 2003, I can count on one hand how many times a cult member has even made eye contact with me, far less exchanged a greeting. At first I found this distinctly odd, but it was what I expected of the 'loyal' shunners - now I really know that the JWs are members of one of the world's most mind-controlled cults and have to obey rules imposed on them by their bosses. It really is a sad situation to behold, and I can only guess at the damage it must be doing to the 'real personality' of the JW who plays along in this nasty game of shunning! It just completely goes 'against the grain' of anyone with a shred of humanity. Surely, most JWs have some of that?
lifelong humanist
Yes, I felt guilty. I smiled at them as big as I could, almost enough to make my face break off. It hurt. The policy is SO fucked up. Jesus associated with tax collectors; so much better than the standard elder.
JK
Hell yes I sure felt uncomfortable about shunning people. When Monkeys are ignored by the rest of the Monkeys they end up dying. Dam the Governing Body to hell.
There was one kid about a year older than me..about 16 or so who I think was marked and concidered bad asscociation but not DF'ed. He was my best friend and I could not bring myself not to be his friend. I think I was one of a handful that stuck by him.
Funny thing was, when I got the boot he shunned me like a son of a bitch!
bastard!
Initially I ignored the only df'd one I knew. We were once romantically involved but she was df'd for the guy she was later involved with. I later felt like rap for ignoring her. We talked and worked it out
I don't know that I felt guilty persay, since I was just a kid at the time and didn't really know any better. But it did feel unnatural and uncomfortable. I think it was my rebellious mind already figuring out that Witnesses had a problem with natural feelings of affection and support.
I used to view it as obeying the rules--and I never felt guilty for shunning disfellowshipped people that had a history of being mean spirited to me while they were in.
